766 
THE RURAL N E W-YORKER 
May 2::, 
HUMOROUS 
11e had just been rejected, and the 
shock had made a deep effect upon him. 
“I shall never marry now,” he said de¬ 
jectedly. “Don’t be foolish! Why not?” 
she inquired. “Well,” he said, “if you 
won’t have me, who will?”—Credit Lost. 
Lady, in boot shop: “These shoes pinch 
terribly. Haven’t you anything larger?” 
Assistant: “You asked for number two’s, 
ma’am. I can give you number three’s 
or number four’s or-” Lady: “The 
idea! I want something larger in num¬ 
ber two’s !”—Melbourne Australasian. 
Crusty traveller, in railway car¬ 
riage, caustically ; “I am glad to see your 
baby has stopped crying, madam.” Moth¬ 
er: “Yes sir. You are the only thing 
that’s pleased him since he saw the ani¬ 
mals at the Zoo !”—Melbourne Australa¬ 
sian. 
“Have you anything to say before sen¬ 
tence is pronounced against you?” asked 
the judge. “The only thing I’m kickin’ 
about,” answered the convicted burglar, 
“is bein’ identified by a man that kep’ 
his head under the bed-clothes the whole 
time. That’s wrong.”—Chicago Record. 
Beggar: “Mister. T ain’t had nothing to 
eat for two days.” Gentleman: “You 
told me that very same story a week 
ago.” Beggar: “Oh! Then surely, boss, 
you’ll help a poor man what ain’t had 
nothin’ to eat for nine days?”—Credit 
Lost. 
“Some adjectives,” said a school teach¬ 
er, “are made from nouns, such as ‘dan¬ 
gerous.’ meaning full of danger, and ‘haz¬ 
ardous,’ full of hazard. Can any body 
give me another example?” “Yes, sir.” 
replied a fat boy. “Pious—full of pie!” 
—Melbourne Australasian. 
“Colonel,” said the book agent to the 
Texas rancher, “those are mighty fine 
boys of yours.” “The finest ever, strang¬ 
er,” acquiesced the colonel. “The finest 
in Texas.” “I reckon you buy them any¬ 
thing they want?” “Why sure, stranger: 
I buy them anything they need, whether 
they want it or not.” “Then, colonel, let 
me sell you a cyclopedia for them. 
There’s nothing else that will benefit 
them so much.” The colonel looked at 
the agent in astonishment. “Why, strang¬ 
er,” said he, “them boys of mine don’t 
need no cyclopedias. They ride mules.” 
—Lippincott’s. 
SAVE HALF Your 
Paint Bills 
By using INGERSOLL PAINT —proved 
best by 66 years’ use. It will please you. 
Only paint endorsed by the “Grange.” 
Made in all colors—for all purposes. 
DELIVERED FREE 
From the Mill Direct to You at Factory Prices. 
INGERSOLL PAINT BOOK —FREE 
Tells all about Paint and Painting for Durability. 
How to avoid trouble and expense caused by paints 
fading, chalking and peeling. Valuable information 
free to you, with Sample Color Cards. Write me. DO 
IT NOW. I can save you money. 
O.W. Ingersoll, 246 Plymouth St., Brooklyn, N.Y. 
The General 
sayss- 
The dealer who offers you 
Certain-teed Roofing is the kind 
of dealer you can depend on for 
whatever you need in his line. 
He isn’t fooled by plausible roof¬ 
ing “tests” any more than you 
are. This label on 
Certain - teed 
ROOFING 
means 15 years guaranteed service— 
and the responsibility of the world’s 
largest manufacturers is behind it - to 
protect both you and the dealer. 
Your dealer can furnish Certain - teed 
Roofing in rolls and shingles—made by 
the General Roofing Mfg. Co., t oorld’a 
largest roofing manufacturers, East St. 
Louis, Ill., Marseilles, Ill., York, Pa, 
I Can Save You $255? to $402? 
and make you a buggy that will wear like iron. Made of second growth Hickory 
—split, not sawed—that’s one reason. Another reason is that Phelps watches 
every job through his big factory himself and knows it is of the quality to stand 
a hard road test. Nearly 200,000 persons are boost¬ 
ing for Phelps and his big saving direct-from-fac- 
tory plan of doing business. 
Phelps will make you glad you wrote, if you 
give him a chance. And if you want a special 
buggy of any kind, he will see it through the fac¬ 
tory for you and save you money. Nearly 
200,000 People Now Have 
Phelps Split Hickory Buggies 
and have saved big money. They sent for the 
big book first, just as we want you to do. That’s 
I all we ask of you. We want to show you a 
splendid, big store put into a book and show you 
the secrets of fine buggy making and bugfgy 
I price making. The book also shows bargains 
I in Fine Harness. 
Mail Your Name Today £ at W f “m imvl afready 
made up your mind to buy somewhere else, get the book. It will be 
an education in buggy making to you. Don’t miss this. Write to¬ 
night. Address personally. H. C. Phelps, President. 
The Ohio Carriage MIg. Co., Station 290, Columbus, Ohio 
You 
'can turn 
your en- 
"tire attention’ 
„ 'to your farm work gASOLINeTenc.INFQ 
and forget your twoiNlA 
chores and incidental big jobs, if yon own 
'one of these reliable machines. Simple 
^enough for a boy to run. Dependable and 
durable. We guarantee every part—uncon¬ 
ditionally— for five years. 
kd|ft P*rtiM« 
Gttolter Eafia* 
Msd. U 2*i te 24 H. T. 
'‘Badger** Engines cost little to run. Consume no . 
fuel which is not turned into power. Develop more 
power than rated. Speed adjustable at will. Run 
smoothly, need no blocking because perfectly bal¬ 
anced. Wearing parts case hardened and made ad¬ 
justable. Use gaa, gasoline or crude oil. Finest 
power plant for grinding, wood sawing, fodder 
cutting, churn, separator or milking machines. 
Made in portable,semi-portable and stationary 
types, 2*^ to 30 H.P. Send for Catalog. Free 
Engineering Lessons sent on receipt 
of dealer’s name. 
§! The Christensen Engineering Co., Mil wanker. WIs. 
§ J.B.Norton Co.,Inc.,Distributors,209 Elizabeth St.,Utica. N.Y ’ 
is 
for potatoes—4 styles to choose from to suit your 
special conditions. We guarantee them to do the 
work we claim for them. All growers know that it pavs 
to use diggers even on five acres—they save much 
valuable time and save all of the crop in good condition 
IRON AGE diggers 
No 155 Wheels, 32 or 28 inch, Elevator, ca or 
For / 20 inches wide. Thorough separation 
Heaviest / without injury to the crop. Best two 
Conditions wheel fore truck. Right adjustment 
of plow, shifts in gear from the seat. 
Can be backed,turns short into next row. 
Ask your dealer about them and 
write us for descriptive booklet. 
BATEMAN 
M’F’G TO. 
Box 102D 
Grenloch, N. 3 . 
THRESHERS 
HORSE POWERS 
SAW MACHINES 
ENSILAGE CUTTERS 
GASOLINE ENGINES 
Don’t buy any of the above till you get our Catalog and 
reasonable prices. We’ll surprise you. Hundreds testify 
to the wisdom of this counsel. Send for new 1914 
Catalog full of pictures. A. W. GRAY’S SONS, 
14 South Street, Middletown Springs, Vt. 
Jfxwud. Stanchions 
srana lor perfect row com¬ 
fort. Are full chainhanging,low down, 
withhingeson the side. Made of high 
grade steel, with perfectly smooth 
wood lining. Write for Free Descrip¬ 
tive Catalog showing complete line of 
Harris’ Sanitary Barn Equipment. 
Prices moderate. Write to-day. 
Harris Mfg. Co., Box 180 Salem, Ohio 
ELECTRIC 
Steel 
Wheel 
Handy 
Wagons 1 
Are Big 
Money 
SAVERS! 
No 
more 
high 
lifting or pitch-/ 
ing. Saves you 
work and light- i 
W ens draft nearly 
■ 50%. ( Don't rut 1 
| fields or roads. 
We also furnish 
Electric Steel 
k Wheels to fit ANY 
wagon. Wheels can't"' 
k dry out or rot. Send for 
free book of facts and proofs. 
Electric Wheel Co., 
48 Kim Street, 
Quloey, 111. 
Sold Direct 
From 
'Factory 
to Farm 
Tuflt put your na 
—-J address on a postal 
card and gret my now Separator boo k fre e. 
Saves $35 to $50 
On the latest, most modern, most 
sanitary cream separator built. 
Gearing runs in a constant bath 
or oil and all enclosed, dust and dirt proof. 
Closest skimming:, new typo diac bowl. 
A lot of New Sanitary features not found 
on other makes. One-half the price of tho 
old style, cumbersome machines Beilin* 
through agents and dealers. Buy direct 
from factory and save big money. Get my 
now Catakg. A postal brings it. 
w*. Calloway, pre*. 
William Galloway Co. ^ 
273 Galloway Station, Waterloo, la. 
10 
Year 
IGuar- 
[ an tee 
3,000 
Bond 
The Economy of a Concrete Silo 
The farmer who feeds his fodder green instead of dry gets the 
most out of his stock. The Silo being a permanent investment, 
should be built of the material which will give longest and most 
satisfactory service. Concrete is practically everlasting; it needs no 
repairs ; is unaffected by time or weather ; fireproof and ratproof ; 
air-tight, water-tight. No other material has so many good qual¬ 
ities to recommend it to silo builders ; nor is any other so enduring. 
Only $2 Down 
One Year to PaylP 
Buys the New Butter- 5 
fly Jr. No.l. Light running? 
easy cleaning, close skim¬ 
ming, durable. Guaranteed 
„ a lifetime. Skims 95 qts. 
£ er hour- Made also in four 
irger sizes up to 5 1-2 shown ' 
30 Davs’ FreeTrial Earns its own cost 
* - and more by what 
it aves in cream. Postal brings Free cat¬ 
alog folder and "direct-from-factory” offer, 
buy from the manufacturer and save half. 
ALBAUGH-DOVER CO W 
221 2 Marshall Blvd. 
CHICAGO 
UPWARD 
UNIVERSAL 
PORTLAND 
CEMENT 
has been used in the construction of thousands of concrete silos. It 
has given such uniformly satisfactory results, that many farmers 
are using it for every kind of building on their farms. Our free book¬ 
lets on “CONCRETE SILOS” will be mailed you for the asking. 
UNIVERSAL PORTLAND CEMENT CO. 
CHICAGO 
PITTSBURGH 
MINNEAPOLIS - 
Plants at Chicago and Pittsburgh 
208 South La Salle Street 
- - Frick Bldg. 
- Security Bank Bldg. 
Annual Output 12,000,000 Barrels 
ON TRIAL. 
AMERICAN 
CREAM 
SEPARATOR 
A SOLID PROPOSITION to 
send fully guaranteed, a new, 
well made, easy running, perfect 
skimming separator for $15-95. 
Skims warm or cold milk; mak¬ 
ing heavy or light cream. The 
howl is a sanitary marvel, easily 
cleaned. 
Absolutely on Approval. 
Gears thoroughly protected. 
Different from this picture, 
which Illustrates our largo 
capacity machines. Western 
orders filled from Western 
points. Whether your dairy Is 
large or small write for our 
handsome free catalog. Ad¬ 
dress : 
AMERICAN SEPARATOR CO. 
Box 1075 
BAINBRIDGE, N. Y. 
