1014. 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
1369 
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“ According to Jimmy '’ 
A Farm Thanksgiving Story 
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By Harry Ayres 
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U/^OOD mornin’, Mis’ Holcomb. 
KJ Here’s some doughnuts Maw sent 
over. She said to be sure and tell you 
they ain’t very good, ’cause she was so 
busy about sump’n else she couldn’t tend 
to ’em the way she orter. They’re all 
right though, or she wouldn’t a sent ’em. 
She allers talks thataway.” 
“No, thank you, Mis’ Holcomb, Maw 
let me eat all I wanted ’fore I come. 
She said if she let me stuff myself as 
full as I could hold ’fore I started she’d 
feel reason’bly sure you’d get all she 
sent.” 
“No, I can’t come in, ’cause I got to 
tend my traps. Yes'm, I caught 14 musk¬ 
rats and three skunks already! I want¬ 
ed to start a farm with the skunks, but 
Paw, he sez he never knowed nobody 
make any money at skunk-farmin’ out¬ 
side the papers; but he’s seen several 
’at lost what little reppertation they ever 
had.” 
“Yes’m, I ain’t got no cause to com¬ 
plain. Maw sez she’s glad they didn’t 
have to call on the doctor, an’ Paw 
asked me if my legs was hollow. Maw 
said if they was it was easy to tell which 
side I inherited ’em from, seein’ as me 
an’ him et more’n all the rest put to¬ 
gether.” 
“No’m, it started out to be the worst 
Thanksgivin’ we ever had. I guess Maw 
must of got out the wrong side o’ the 
bed, ’cause thoye wa’nt nothin’ right an’ 
she got Paw goin’ ’fore he got through 
washin’ up for breakfast after milkin’.” 
“Jest as Edith brought on the second 
helpin’ o’ pancakes Maw sez, ‘You goin’ 
to church this mornin’, Ezry?’ ” 
“ ‘Well,’ Paw sez, ‘I thought I would, 
but after the rakin’ over I’ve had this 
mornin’ I don’t feel as much like it as 
I did. I can think o’ lots more to grum¬ 
ble over an’ lots less to be thankful for 
’n when I got up. Milk ain’t bringin’ 
what it orter, considerin’ the cost o’ feed; 
taters are a dollar a bushel, but that 
don’t do me no good, seein’ as we’ll have 
to buy next Spring. Last year we had 
taters to burn, an’ it was hard work to 
give ’em away; this year they’re out o’ 
sight an’ we ain’t got enough for our¬ 
selves. Last year we didn’t have no 
stock to sell, an’ prices were higher’n 
a kite. This year we got lots to turn 
off, ’n everybody is givin’ ’em away. 
That’s the way it goes! If I was to 
strike a gold mine on this farm the price 
o’ gold would drop to 10 cents a pound. 
Then Henry’s goin’ off has hindered me 
a lot. He was worth two hired men. I 
can’t think what ailed that boy, lessen 
it was tie way you thro wed Bertha 
Somers at his head.’ ” 
“ ‘Why, Paw, how you do talk,’ sez 
Maw. ‘I do think it’s sinful to fly in 
the face o’ Providence thataway. If I 
set out to do it I could think o’ lots more 
to complain of ’n you’ve got. But I 
ain’t that way! I believe in countin’ my 
blessing’s. I got 40 hens in the henhouse, 
’n ain’t seeii a egg in a month. I reckon 
you folks don’t need to look for any 
Christmas presents from me this year. 
I’m sure I’m thankful for health an’ 
strength, but if you’d had the neuralgy 
the way I have this Fall, I guess folks 
’d a heard more about it. But I ain’t 
the one to complain! There’s Jimmy—- 
five nights hand-runnin’ I set up with 
that boy, au’ he with the worst case o’ 
mumps I ever see! An’ all I could get 
out o’ you was, that if I wanted to make 
a martyr out o’ myself nothin’ nor no¬ 
body could stop me !’ ” 
“Paw started to say somethin’, but 
Maw, she drawed in her breath quick- 
like, an sez, ‘Lemme have my say, Ezry, 
an’ then you can have the floor. I know 
just what you’re goin’ to say, anyhow, 
so you might as well save your breath 
to cool your pancakes.’ Then she lit 
inter me. ‘You, Jimmy, a body’d think 
butter was 10 cents a pound an’ syrup 
as free as water, the way you slap ’em 
on ! Edith, don’t fry no more cakes, or 
your Paw an’ Jimmy’ll bust. Poor 
child! She don’t eat enough to keep a 
hummin’-bird alive. I know it ain't 
Christian-like, but I sometimes feel like 
wringing Sheldon Whitaker’s neck! It 
wa’nt bad enough for her firm to bust 
up owin’ her eighty dollars hard-earned 
money an’ throwin’ her out of a job, but 
she must come home an’ find her feller 
gallivantin’ around with another girl— 
Edith, I’m talkin’ now. I know you 
don't like it mentioned, but I’ve got some 
spunk left if nobody else ain’t.’ ” 
“Me’n the hired man was afraid Paw 
’d git the last o’ the cakes an’ syrup, but 
he got up from the table when there was 
three left yet, an’ so I took two an' Sam 
took the other—Sam got the syrup pitch¬ 
er first, though, an’ he didn’t leave me 
but just the drainin’s. Paw went an’ 
laid his hand on Maw’s head, an’ he 
sez, ‘You know as well as I do, little 
woman, that Sheldon ain’t to blame. 
Edith’s give him the cold shoulder ever 
since she got the stenography In in her 
bonnet, an’ I’m afraid you’ve encour¬ 
aged her. I’m sorry, ’cause she could go 
lots further an’ fare lots worse. Shel¬ 
don’s a man , an’ right down in her heart 
Edie knows lie's the man for her; but 
bein’ a woman she wouldn’t own up to it 
an’ won’t now, though she’s eatin’ her 
heart out ’cause she’s afraid another 
woman ’ll get him.’ ” 
“ ‘Well, Ezry,’ sez Maw, ‘If that ain’t 
the meanest thing I ever heard! An’ you 
her own father, too! If that’s the way 
you feel about it I’ve nothin’ more to 
say. But it’s well she’s got a mother to 
stand up for her—Edith, Pm talkin’! 
Well, go upstairs, if you want to—that’s 
the thanks I get! It does beat me! I 
tried to help Henry with Bertha all I 
could an’ he left for parts unknown, an’ 
now my daughter’s takin’ it the same 
way. Oh, dear! If I only knew that 
my boy was safe and well I'd feel more 
like Thanksgivin’.” 
“When Maw begun to cry Paw put his 
arms around her an’ sez, 'There, there! 
Little woman, I guess Henry’s all right 
or we’d a heard from him before this, an’ 
Edie’ll come out all right too. As soon 
as Sam gets back from the milk-station 
we’ll all go to church an’ try to be 
thankful, anyway.’ ” 
“Well, Maw’n Edith cleared up the 
breakfast ’n me an’ Paw watered the 
stock an’ cleaned out the stables—least¬ 
wise Paw did, ’cause I went to look at 
my traps an’ forgot. Then we all put 
on our Sunday clothes an’ started. 
Everythin’ was all right ’till we got on 
the State road an’ Glenn Phillips scooted 
by us in his auto.” 
“Sez Maw, ‘If you was as forehanded 
as Glenn, Ezry, we’d be goin’ to church 
in our car, ’stead o’ behind a farm 
team.’ ” 
“ ‘Well,’ Paw sez, ‘If I got to fore¬ 
close honest, hard-workin’ men out o’ 
house an’ home an’ beat down the price 
o’ farm produce below the cost o’ growin* 
it to ride in a auto I'll take walkin’ for 
mine, though I ain't ashamed to ride be¬ 
hind a four-hundred-dollar team when 
they’re paid for with good, clean money. 
As to forehandedness, if Glenn fell into 
Mud Creek, some fool that ought to know 
better ’ud fish him out. an’ he'd come 
up with his white shirt all fresh laun¬ 
dered with diamond studs in it, an’ one 
hand ’ud be full o’ twenty-dollar gold 
pieces an’ the other full o’ first-class 
mortgages.’ 
“There was another honk, honk! an’ 
’Squire Parsons whizzed by. 
“ ‘I ain’t doin’ it to hurt your feelin’s.’ 
sez Maw, ‘but Cliff Parsons rides in his 
own car, too, an’ I’d like to know what 
you can say against him.’ 
“ ‘I can’t say nothin’ against him,’ Paw 
sez. ‘an’ less for him. lie’s neither cold 
nor hot—not spunk enough to do wrong 
nor ambition enough to do right. His 
mission in life is to hang on to what his 
dad left him an’ spend the interest on 
hisself. Ilow’d you like to change 
places with his wife?’ 
“That riled Maw. You know how poor 
Mis’ Parsons has do her contributin' to 
the church with her hands an’ look the 
other way when the plate comes ’round. 
“Yessurn, I feel sory for her, too. 
Everybody does. 
“Well, the preacher prayed an’ th" 
choir sung, then the preacher read the 
President’s proclamation. Maw nudged 
Paw an’ sez, ‘You see, the President be¬ 
lieves in Thanksgivin’.’ 
“ ‘So’d I, if I was gittin’ fifty thou¬ 
sand a year,’ sez Paw. 
“The choir sung again an’ the preacher 
preached ’till I begun to think quittiu’- 
time never would come. Maw commenced 
to cry again, and Paw patted her hand. 
When I’d give up expectin’ to see that 
turkey ’till supper-time the preacher 
stopped preachin’ an’ went to talkin’. 
He said they’d now offer out o’ their 
abundance to the poor. Paw an’ Maw 
an’ Edith put sump’n in. So did most 
everybody else except Glenn Phillips an’ 
’Squire Parsons. They didn’t, ’cause I 
watched ’em. 
“Well, we all sung ‘America,’ an’ as 
we was goin’ out Sheldon come up an’ 
asked Edith if he could drive her home. 
Maw told Paw she’d a-seen him in Hali¬ 
fax afore she’d a : gone with him, but Paw 
said Edie had good sense. 
“We stopped for the mail an’ there 
was a letter for Edith from the business 
institute. Maw said they’d orter be 
ashamed to write to her after takin’ her 
good money an’ then gettin’ her a posi¬ 
tion with a dishonest firm. Paw sez. 
‘Wait till we hear what’s in it, little 
woman, then we can judge better.’ 
“Well, sir! when we get home, who 
do you think come out to meet us? Old 
Hank! An’ all dressed up fit io kill! 
Seem’s if he never would let up huggin’ 
an’ kissin’ Maw with one hand an' 
shakin’ hands with Paw with the other. 
Then he started on me. but I skun out 
with Sam to put the team out. Then 
Henry called me back. 
“When we went in there was a strange 
lady there. Henry went up to her an’ 
took her hand an’ led her to Maw. II'' 
sez, ‘This is your new daughter, mother 
—next to yourself, the best little woman 
in the IT. S. A.’ 
“Maw looked at her kind o’ funny for 
a minute, an’ then they flopped into 
each other’s arms an’ hugged an’ kissed 
the way women-folks do. When Paw’s 
turn come he shook hands an’ kissed her. 
He sez, ‘Welcome, daughter. If you 
ain’t Jim an’ Mandy Hubbell’s girl I’ll 
have to own up to bein’ a Hottentot. 
Henry, you rascal. I s’picioned you wa’n’t 
makin’ them trips to Belfort for the 
good o’ your health, but I never thought 
o’ Jim Hlibbell’s girl. If you two live 
as long an’ useful an’ happy lives as Jim 
an’ Mandy, you’ll get what I’m wishin’ 
for you.’ 
“Well, the turkey was doin’ all right, 
so whilst Maw an’ Emily an’ Henry 
pitched in with the dinner, me’n Paw 
went out to do the noon chores—’cause 
Sam had gone over home to Thanks¬ 
givin’. Paw took along a basket o’ ap¬ 
ples—like he allers does Thanksgivin’ an’ 
Christmas—an’ we give a couple apiece 
to the horses an’ cows. Then Sheldon 
driv up, an’ Paw asked him to stay to 
dinner. He looked at Edith an' she looked 
at him, an’ he said. ‘With pleasure.’ 
“When we come back from puttin’ the 
hofes out Edith an’ Emily was thick as 
molasses an’ Hank an’ Sheldon had 
aperns on. ahelpin’ with the dinner. I'd 
only et three apples since breakfast an' 
I could agot along without so much fuss 
an’ feathers, but finely the table was set 
an’ we set down. But ’stead o’ pass’ll’ 
the food. Paw got up an’ looked at Maw. 
He sez. ‘Mary, as for me an’ my lions \ 
we’re going’ to offer up thanks. What 
say, little woman?’ 
(Continued on par/e ) 
A FARM FAMILY TO BE THANKFUL FOR. 
