HUMOROUS 
Lover (passionately) : “Sir, I love the 
very ground your daughter walks on!” 
Father (grimly) ; “No doubt you do— 
it's worth $200 a front foot.”—Town 
Topics. 
“What is bread chiefly used for. 
Thomas?” asked the teacher of a small 
pupil. “Bread is chiefly used to spread 
butter and jam on,” was the prompt but 
unexpected reply.—Milwaukee Journal. 
“IVo you think that if I refuse him he 
will do something desperate?” “Nope; 
he’ll probably live to be glad of it.” 
“Then I shall marry him, the brute!”— 
Houston Post. 
. 
“My man, where did yoi o me such 
an expert swimmer?” “V a ady, ’ re¬ 
sponded our hero, modest used to 
be a traffic cop in Venice- lffalo Ex¬ 
press. 
“I am going to give ^ ey another 
box of his favorite b^, a of cigars.” 
“Mow do you know o-, lis favorite 
brand?” “Because o.voiZ ^ e I give him 
a box of them he acts 01 << he hated to 
use them up. lie insists on saving them 
for company.”—Washington Star. 
“Oh, dear! I wish I could live at 
grandma’s all the time,” said small Fran¬ 
cesca after being chastised for misbehav¬ 
ior. “Why so?” asked her mother. 
“Cause.” exclaimed the little miss, “I 
don’t have to mind a word she says.”—• 
Milwaukee Journal. 
“Wtjd yez luk at thot!” exclaimed Mrs. 
O’Toole in just indignation. “ ‘Washin’ 
and ironin’ done.’ Shure, she ain’t wan 
bit better than Oi am. Oi’ve got me 
washin’ and ironin’ done, too, but yez 
don’t see me bangin’ out no shingles brag- 
gin’ about ut.”—Ladies’ Home Journal. 
“Is that dog of yours intelligent?” 
“Yessuh,” replied Erastus Pinkley. “He 
kin do everything but talk, an’ some¬ 
times when lie’s been out late wif me in 
de evenin’ I’s kind o’ skeered dat he 
might take a sudden notion to do dat.”— 
Washington Star. 
“What was all dem gwines-on at yo’ 
residence yiste’d’y evenin’, Brudder 
Mooch? Sounded like a fight uh-twixt a 
camp rneetin’ and a catamount!” “Dat? 
Aw. shucks, sail! Dat was on’y de 
gen’leman fum de furniture ’stallment 
st<>’ c’lectin’ his easy payments.”—Judge. 
“Larry,” said Mr. Greene to a good- 
natured Irishman at work on a new 
building, “didn’t you tell me once that 
you had a brother who is a bishop?” 
“Yis, sor,” replied Larry. “And you 
are a liod-carrier!” said Mr. Greene. 
“Well, the good things of this life are 
not equally divided, are they, Larry?” 
“No, sor,” rejoined the Irishman, should¬ 
ering his hod and starting up tin- ladder. 
“Indade, they is not, sor. Poor fellow! 
lie couldn’t do this to save his loife, 
sor!”—E v e r y bod y ’ s. 
He was very fond of playing jokes oil 
lils wife, and this time he thought he had 
got a winner. “My dear,” he said, as 
they sat at supper, “I just heard such a 
sad story of a young girl today. They 
thought she was going blind, and so a 
surgeon operated on her, and found-” 
“Yes?” gasped his wife breathlessly. 
“That she’d got a young man in her 
eye!” ended the husband, with a chuckle. 
For a moment there was silence. Then 
the lady remarked slowly: “Well, it 
would all depend on what sort of a man 
it was. Some of them she could have 
seen through easily enough!”—Boston 
Post. 
EIGHT CYLINDER 
$1350 
40-45 
P HORSE POWER. 
man's car in beauty, silence and flexibility, 
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pulses per revolution; a Six-Cylinder, three; while the 
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