THE EiUTISH ^sOHTH B()EXI':0 HERAl.D 
I, 1<S:)2. 
“Charity covers a multitude of sins”. It would 
seem that street preaching’ now a days greatly resembles 
charity in this respect. It is said that several street 
preachers in London have lately been discovered to be 
nothing more or loss than snares and delusions to way¬ 
farers thirsting for scriptural comfort, insomuch as the 
police have discovered that these tub thumping saints so 
far from being crowned with a halo of righteousness, 
are simpU’ acting as agents for the light fingered profes¬ 
sionals who are always on the “ snavel The nwdm 
operamU is simple. A saintly looking pickpocket attired 
d la fStiggins preaches his ideas of laying up treasures 
in heaven and so engages the attention of his audience. 
His confederates meanwhile lay up unto themselves 
treasures on earth by easing the disciples of their cash 
and valuables. 
% ^ 
* 
In Svdnev lately there has taken place what mav 
bo termed a Cosmopolitan Tug-of-War handicap in 
which individuals of one nation have tugged away against 
athletes of another clime, and a third set of patriots 
tackle the winner and so on. All countries apparently 
have been represented and the result is as follows : the 
“she wolf’s litter” to quote Macaulay have once more 
“ stood savagely at bay —Scotland and Norway took 
the rope and in six minutes the former went under amid 
the ruins of the thistle and the haggis, while a spectral 
voice in kilts groaned over their discomfiture. Russia, 
broke Germany up in about 12 minutes, and the signs, 
seemed to be that the sons of the Great White Czar would 
come out on top. The longest pull of the evening was 
between the Englishmen and the West Indian darkies, 
and here for the first time the Anglo-Saxon race got a 
show. It took them over an hour to do it, but at the end 
of that time Ham went under. He deserved better luck, 
did Ham, especially as he was the lightest team in the 
show. Australia again had the distinction of knocking 
under in shorter time than anybody else; he was a dis¬ 
graced kangaroo in just T3 seconds, the Maorilanders 
bolting with him as if they intended to rush him into the 
Pacific Ocean. Ireland also wont under to Sweden, which 
was a painful surprise to many individuals named Mick, 
Terence, and Dinny. Last of all, Italy came on to give 
a mighty heave for the honour of the banana-vending 
industry. Denmark ' ook the other end of the rope and 
held it for 33 minutes, and then the stupendous efforts 
of the fallen Romans carried the day. France and 
Wales both failed to turn up. 
* * 
* 
I notice t\io Straits Times has started “a Corres¬ 
pondent ”, from British North Borneo and the “ fashion¬ 
able intelligence” from this journalistic party appears 
in pallid print in some recent numbers of the “ long 
established ” Eastern Thunderer. Judging from the cor¬ 
respondence up to date I should take the new “special” 
to be a journalist of a somewhat saturnine character 
I gather from his local news that a newpaper is shortly 
to appear “ entirely independent of official influence ”. I 
a^so gather from what follows that the new venture is to 
have a directorate and protectorate. Also says my friend the 
correspondent “if it will give vent to the general dissat¬ 
isfaction and discontent at the way in which the country 
is governed it may wake up the administration and more 
especially the Court of Directors to a sense of their res¬ 
ponsibilities”. Just look at that now! The new 
paper is to act as a. sort of journalistic alarum, awaken 
us all, and keep us up to time generally. It is not 
stated when this ])henomenal fourth estate aratar will 
make its bow to uu awe struck official public. Her Ma¬ 
jesty’s birthday supper appears to ha\'o lain heavy on 
the chest of our “Special'" as he says “Supper took 
place at about midniglit when the eccentricities in the 
way of precedence to which we are now beginning to 
grow accustomed were again the ordei’ of the night”. 
This is really very disti'essing. not to say exceedingly 
mysterious. Fancy “ eccentric precedence ’’ at the su]>- 
per table. Did the cold turkey refuse to take in the 8ir 
Loin, or did the ice cream insist on preceding the soup 
or did the guests eat the supper backwards from cheese 
to oysters, or in what way did the snpjicr shoAV its 
“eccentricities of precedence I*' And if any of tlicse 
suggestions explain the matter “we are heginning to 
grow accustomed to them *' ! Are wef* 1 for one should 
prefer running the Jleiiu the ordinary way to going 
backwards on it. I have puzzled over this mystery 
but I cannot fathom it. I called in the aid of 
a friend to help me in its unravelmeut. He told mo 
next day he had dreamed of it. He saw “ as in a dream 
sublime ” the following table of precedence. First came 
the Protectorate, than the Directorate, then the New 
Paper, then the special correspondent; the whole proces¬ 
sion being preceded by the Office Goat. 
* Q 
A dismissed Bengali servant rejoicing in a Cal¬ 
cutta JIadrff,sa knowledge of “ English a-s she is spoke” 
thus words a supplica.tiou to his master to be taken on 
again. “ This is petition to give Humbly notice. Sir and 
Most honourable laudatory. 
“I am and was ever your most oliediently Faitliful 
servant and Respectfully to command do pray and 
beseech your most Respectable Lordship to restore me 
to your bosom by reason of the good situation long lield 
with your Honor’s uncle as well as ^oarself atul many 
more European ladies and Nobility too numerous foi’, 
mention. For which I always serve you faithfully and 
making No mistake and will you please to mo again 
something to emplo}' my body which I have no money 
but in several debts. And two wives only but no monev 
to be earned by them. Four daughters at home and 
my youngest wife.—Now half past eleven—will bv the 
Gracioiisness Bring to me Her first child and not got 
employment to support Itself this hard times and in- 
j ustice. 
“ Honourable Sir. 1 have many debts tou pay of 
Not got Any employment. I am fifty eight and one 
oiphan, but did not got no mistake in your accounts, 
Sir. And my big Creditor if not I can to him Pay "will 
contine me in Prison house which never was my lot 
before world without End. So I pray your Respectable 
honourable Lordship be some pity for lionest man which 
has no Employment and big creditor and I expect 
shortly to be confined. And therefore Pray with most 
Damnable Respects to be 
No more at present 
Yours obediently ’i’ruly 
Dm Rsox Lai,. 
Post Scripture. My youngest wife has horn a very 
young man. He weight 9 lbs. 3/4. But no milk in 
her Chest. It is one sad libel to Buy a Sucking bottle 
for me without did not got employment. 
