1506 
The RURAL NEW-YORKER 
Pastoral Parson and His Country Folks 
By Rev. George B. Gilbert 
Christmas Again. — The Christmas 
season has opened at the Parson's humble 
ranch. The opening of the Yuletide took 
place last night at just a quarter past 
five. It was Sunday night, and it was at 
that time that Clossie and the Parson 
pulled up on the lawn by the house with 
the old Ford (Daredevil) and rolled the 
Christmas tree out of the hind end. Sir 
heard us—there’s a terrible hole in the 
exhaust pipe—and stuck her head out of 
the door, and Clossie. with his eyes fairly 
dancing, shouted: “We have gotted the 
Christmas tree.” At this point little TVs 
head appeared also. “W-w-w-hy doan’ 
’on h’ing it into de ’ousc?’* 
The Tree. —Clossie said it was THE 
Christmas tree, and so it. was. It had 
been picked out for some two years. It 
stood by a big ledge 13 miles down 
county, where George first saw it as he 
and the Parson jogged along with old 
.Tim. We were to have it last year, but 
did not get down on that road so as to 
get it. Put we have always talked about 
it when down that way. and it has always 
made the trip seem shorter and less lone¬ 
some. Hitherto we have had hemlocks, 
as there are no spruces around here, such 
as we always had in old Vermont, but 
this is a little pine tree, one of many chil¬ 
dren of a massive old pine by the high¬ 
way. and among its glistening needles 
will hang such presents as come to the 
Parson’s household. 
Presents on tiie Tree. —For the Par¬ 
son still holds that, as far as possible, 
the presents should still be hung on the 
Christmas tree itself as though they grew 
there. Where else in the world can the 
half open blade of a jack-knife sparkle any¬ 
thing like the way it does nestled down 
among green branches? Though full 40 
years ago the Parson sees a knife he got 
one Christmas as though it were yester¬ 
day. It was a two-blader and had sort of 
reddish wood handle, and the Parson’s 
first thought was, How the boys will 
stare at it in school! The Parson used 
to keep that knife right on top of his 
desk at school, the big blade clear open 
and the little blade half open, the knife 
lying upon its back. The spruce Christ¬ 
inas tree used to be kept in the sitting- 
room up on the old farm (a sitting-room 
is a cross between a parlor and a living- 
room). and ns this room was always cold 
in Winter except Sunday afternoons and 
when the minister was coming to call, 
the tree kept fresh and green for a long 
time. Once the Parson remembers creep¬ 
ing back after several weeks and putting 
that knife back among the branches just 
where he first saw it. then after a while 
lie came in again and pretended to act 
and feel just, as he did when he first saw 
it. Don’t be in any hurry about throwing 
out the Christmas tree. 
Late Dinners. —But one thing is well 
to remember—a boy gets just as hungry 
just as soon on Christmas and New Year’s 
Day as on any other. lie is almost 
starved by half past 12. and yet you had 
not really planned to have dinner before 
half-past two! That means three at the 
best. Take a tip from the Parson—the 
boys and girls, and even most of the 
grown-ups. would rather have less and 
have it sooner. If you cannot have it 
sooner because the company isn’t coming 
till the next train, then pass out a hand¬ 
out just around noon time. If will save 
the day for the boys if for no one else. 
Peace on Earth. —Ar.d now it is time 
again to sing about peace on earth. We 
all know how it has been sung for 2.000 
years, and still the seeds of future wars 
are being sown and men are making ter¬ 
rible poisonous gases to kill each other 
with. The great natural resources of the 
earth that God made to be such a help to 
IIis children and to make them so happy 
are now used largely either for the luxury 
of th<> few or for the utter destruction of 
those whom Christ came to save. There 
never can be peace, no matter bow many 
conferences there may be, as long as our 
way of life is based on competition and 
tariffs and economic wars. The first thing 
is to get peace and brotherhood and co¬ 
operation in all our dealings. The very 
structure of our society leads inevitably 
on to war and destruction and the ex¬ 
tinction of the so-called civilized races. 
It isn’t a bright Christmas picture, but 
it is a true one. 
Small Beginnings. —While we cannot 
do great things to help, we can all do 
something. Whatever tends to pull peo¬ 
ple apart and divide them creates the 
snirit of rivalry and jealousy and war. 
This applies to a lot of little churches in 
small villages just as much as it does to 
big nations. It applies to farmers who 
cut under in price to steal the trade of 
their neighbors. Old Billy Shaw used to 
say up home that he did not care how 
much the frost killed his corn as long as 
it killed all the corn in the neighborhood. 
Whoever draws people together and unites 
them in any common purpose for good 
sings the song of the angels over again. 
All those who do this are really keeping 
the Christmastide. 
Co-operation. —The stage of trying to 
make two blades of grass grow where only 
one grew before is fast passing in the 
period of co-operation. But this can never 
thrive where there is constant gossiping 
and backbiting and “running down” 
among neighbors. Tt is easy in the coun¬ 
try. too, to get into the habit of fault¬ 
finding and grumbling, chiefly over the 
roads and schools. It is true that a “kick 
a day keeps the Kaiser away,” but these 
same people who are forever grumbling 
and telling how things ought to be done 
are generally the very last to come for¬ 
ward and help when anyone really tries 
to make things better. 
It All Helps. —Down at one place we 
are going to shingle the church sheds. 
\Ve needed plank for staging, so we have 
decided to keep 10 2x0 spruce planks IT 
ft. long all the time up in horse sheds for 
the use of anybody who has shingling or 
repair work to do. A little thing, but it 
makes for unity. We have also bought 
a power cornstalk cutter, and we will 
leave this in the sheds for the use of any¬ 
one in the neighborhood. The president 
of the community club will have charge 
of it, and a small sum will be given for 
its use by those who desire to. What 
will drive a boy away from the farm 
quicker than cutting up stalks by hand, 
unless perhaps it is sawing wood with a 
bucksaw instead of with gasoline? Playing 
together is certainly one of the great 
ways of breaking up little neighborhood 
and family feuds and quarrels. The 
other day. way down county, the Parson 
listened to a terrible tale of grievances 
and abuses. “Our family ain’t going to 
have anything more to do with that fam¬ 
ily.” said tin* young fellow as he and the 
Parson drove on. The Parson felt bad 
about this. If those two women met in* 
the road it: would seem as though there 
would be hair-pulling right away. But 
that night we had a party down that way. 
and both these families were there. When 
lunch time came the Parson noticed both 
these women handing out sandwiches and 
coffee over the same counter. There 
seemed to be anything but a fighting 
spirit between them. And lo and behold, 
if he didn’t look out on the floor pretty 
soon, and they were waltzing together. 
Grange Halls.— The Parson was re¬ 
cently asked to come to the dedication of 
a wonderful Grange Hall. Now the Par¬ 
son doesn’t throw a fit over these big halls 
that are built in the small towns. Out¬ 
side of an occasional Grange meeting, 
they are used chiefly for an occasional 
dance. At least, they are around here. 
“They dance with the same girl all the 
evening, and it's chiefly a hugging and 
squeezing match,” said a man to the Par¬ 
son. “What if the old folks in this town 
saw it! But then, they never come near.” 
“Can you have any of the old-fashioned 
dances—quadrilles and the like?” asked 
the Parson. “Oh, no! If you try such 
a thing the young people will get right up 
and dance and break it up.” This shows 
how much is needed today the old-time 
prompter, who for a couple of dollars 
would not only call off. but run the dance, 
and run it right. He would announce 
what the next dance would be, and they 
would dance that or nothing. 
A Hang-out. —Where is the hall in the 
small village that has a hang-out for the 
young fellows of an evening? A place in 
the basement with a stove in it and some 
tables and magazines and Popular .Me¬ 
chanics and the Ford Owner and Dealer, 
etc.? And where is the church that pro¬ 
duces a man with sufficient real Chris¬ 
tian religion to spend several nights a 
week down in this hang-out “kinder look¬ 
ing after the thing?” There should be 
plenty of games to play, checkers and 
cards and dominoes, etc. Did you think 
of this when you made the hall or built 
the Community House? What are you 
having in the hall besides suggestive mov¬ 
ies and vulgar dances with jazz music? 
Did you mothers read the article about 
"jazz” in the August number of the 
Ladies ’ home Journal ? If not go and 
look it up or ’phone ’round to the neigh¬ 
bors and get hold of it. “How about that 
dance over in your Grange Hall by the 
church?” was asked of a woman the other 
day by Mrs. Parson. “It was positively 
the vilest thing I ever saw or heard of,” 
was the answer. 
Pass the Hat. —The Parson thanks 
heaven there is one thing during the year 
that one does not have to pay admission to 
go to. All the little children from the big 
families can go to the Christmas tree 
and not have to ask with bated breath: 
“How much is it?” Can every one of 
thejpoorost family come to the things you 
put on in your town—yes, every single 
one of the family? If the taxes are com¬ 
ing due and the interest is overdue and 
you hate to get any more grain charged, 
and there are seven altogether in the 
family, “I guess we’re all pretty tired to 
go down to the hall tonight.” Wliat will 
the boy and girl say. and how will they 
feel when, at .school the next morning, 
everyone asks: “Why weren’t you down 
to tin 1 hall last night ?” Wo had 52 down 
in the abandoned sehoolhouse the other 
night, and out of the hat they counted 
over nine dollars! One night, in the 
same place, a young fellow had such a 
good time that he flunked in a two-dollar 
bill! If the admission had been 15 cents 
from the grown-ups and 10 for children, 
he would have given the 15 cents, and not 
a cent more. The Parson would hold to 
the same rule for a supper. He knows a 
big church that always passes the plate 
around for the finest kind of a feed, and 
they claim they do better than charging 
so much a ticket. It gives the rich a 
chance to use their conscience. Will they 
give just for themselves alone, or will 
they chip toward tin* woman over the hill 
with her six lovely children and a terrible 
mortgage? 
First Bats Next. —When the Parson 
thinks about how much there is to do 
and how many places need the spirit of 
brotherhood and fellowship and family 
feeling, and he is in a way to get dis¬ 
couraged, he thinks of the wonderful ball 
game between two colored teams. A 
stranger, hearing a great deal of noise, 
drove up and inquired what it was all 
about. “We are having a great ball 
game.” said one of the darkey players. 
“How does the score stand?” asked the 
Decemtier at. lf_'i 
stranger. “Thirty-four to nothing for the 
other side.” said lie cheerily. “Why. 
they are giving you a terrible drubbing, 
aren't they?” “Not on your life!" came 
the answer. “We haven't come to our 
first bats yet!” 
I\ hat Of It? —And if that doesn't 
cheer the Parson he remembers about an 
old doctor he heard of who was in a great 
habit of saying “What of it?” In this 
way he kept up his spirits. Ilis wife 
would come to him with some terrible tale 
about the iceman or the grocer or the 
butcher or the school teacher or the min¬ 
ister. Tie would calmly lean back in his 
chair and remark: “W-w-well, what of 
it?” One night he was aroused from 
slumber by the persistent telephone. It 
was his sister’s voice. “John. John,” she 
said, “father has just passed away.” “Is 
that so?” said the old doctor, half asleep. 
“W-w-well. what of it?” 
Electric Lights. —We are still turn¬ 
ing on the electric lights in the henhouse 
in the morning, and sometimes, when it 
is very cloudy, a while at night. We 
certainly get more eggs than we have for 
years, but those who cannot have lights 
need not be discouraged. Just as the 
Parson was thinking how could anybody 
get along without lights, he hears* of a 
woman 'way down county on the cross¬ 
roads whose hens beat the Parson’s to a 
frazzle and never have any lights at all. 
So do not be discouraged if you cannot 
have lights in file henhouse. George gets 
just about two dozen eggs a day, and at 
75 cents a dozen they are a tremendous 
help all around. A Rural New-Yorker 
reader has sent the Parson a very simple 
and inexpensive plan for arranging that 
the lights be turned on with an alarm 
clock. A wooden lever with a weight on 
1 he end is tripped when the key to the 
alarm begins to turn, and this pulls over 
the switch. Outside of the clock, the 
whole thing would not cost a quarter. 
Two Cowhides.— Last Winter we sent 
off a couple of heifers’ hides to be tanned. 
We did not have them made up into any¬ 
thing, nor lined at all—just tanned. They 
came back a while ago, and the cost was 
$18. We are convinced that it did not 
pay. There are many bare spots on them, 
and the hair is very thin. It is lucky we 
did not have them made up into anything 
at much more expense. We know now 
that The If. N.-Y. does not accept adver¬ 
tising from the firm we sent to. and this 
year, with another hide, we shall try a 
firm whose advertising is accepted. We 
ought to have had the others sent C. O. D. 
express, and then we could have examined 
them before paying. 
Ford Oar Notes. —These are the days 
when you dread starting the Ford car in 
the morning. A chronic stiffness cer¬ 
tainly gets hold of her joints something 
terrible in cold weather. The following 
treatment, however, has been found very 
satisfactory : Fill the radiator with real 
warm water—not too hot, as it might 
crack the engine block. (A big dose of 
boiling water cost a man down below here 
$70). Then go and jack up one rear 
wheel just so the tire does not touch the 
ground. Then pour boiling wafer on the 
intake manifold. You will be surprised 
how easily she starts. After running a 
minute or so gradually apply the emer¬ 
gency brake till the rear wheel stops turn¬ 
ing. giving her more gas to keep the en¬ 
gine running. Then let down the rear 
wheel, and you’re off. The Parson has 
never used any anti-freeze mixtures. They 
may be all right, but the “empty anti¬ 
freeze” when you’re 20 miles down coun¬ 
try and the thermometer is 10 below, has 
never failed him so far. 
Ministerial Candidates. —The Par¬ 
son has just, been reading a book on the 
qualifications of candidates for the min¬ 
istry. It is wonderful what persons they 
should be—especially as to their great 
learning. Then, to*o, they must have pol¬ 
ish and dignity and what not. But the 
Parson often thinks of what the old Eng¬ 
lish farmer said when they asked him 
about this thing. “Well.” he said, “a 
candidate _ for the ministry ought to be 
honest, with leanings toward religion.” 
Peace and Promise 
“Peace Upon Earth.” whisper the falling 
flakes of snow 
That softly mantle o’er the garnered fields 
below, 
Shielding secure from dreary Winter’s 
biting blast, 
Kind Nature’s stores of seeds and buds 
that slumber fast. 
Not dead but sleeping are the grasses, 
ferns and fiow’rs, 
The folded fronds that green will clothe 
the forest bow’rs 
When Spring with balmy breath and gen¬ 
tly show’ring rain 
Wakes from their cozy beds the tender 
leaves and grain. 
Seedtime and harvest, Summer heat and 
cooling rain, 
Are promises to man that hearten him 
again. 
The darkest hours are those that usher in 
the day. 
The clouds that threaten now will quickly 
pass away. 
“Good Will to Man.” ring out the chimes 
across the snow. 
And echo clear—“Praise God from Whom 
all blessings flow.” 
The earth which furnished food when 
warmed by Summer’s sun 
Again shall nourish man when Winter’s 
sleep is done. 
Madison. Wis. A. s. Alexander 
