ILLINOIS STATE DAIRYMEN’S ASSOCIATION. 39 
of many with regard to the beauties of country life. 
“They may talk of love !n a cottage, 
And bowers of trellised vine, 
Of nature bewitchingly simple, 
And milkmaids half divine. ” 
“ Your love in a cottage is hungry, 
Your vine is a nest of fiiesj 
Your milkmaid shocks the Graces, 
And simplicity talks of pies. ” 
The country becomes more and more a place of dearly - 
cheap summer resorts or market gardens worked by for¬ 
eigners, from which those “to the manor born” rush to 
plunge into the seething mass of humanity in cities. The 
cities themselves seem most like a writhing mound of 
serpents, whence forked tongues are thrust to hiss and 
hiss, and glittering eyes peer to fascinate till closer and 
closer the victim is drawn in the folds of the charmer. 
The city tries to prove that it can exist without the 
country by selling chalk and alum for bread and for milk 
chalk, burnt sugar and water diluted with milk drawn from 
a slop-fed, sickly, terrified herd that has forgotten if ever it 
knew of green pastures. 
“We have changed all that,” as the French say, and 
let a Frenchman, one capable of making soup from cast-off 
kid gloves, claim and have the credit of discovering the 
way to make butter out of suet—oleomargare—which 
opened the way for butterine, suine, and the namelessly 
nasty, much-manipulated, deodorized and delectably awful 
combinations which are literally and indeed offaL 
If woman has turned from run 1 avocations and domes¬ 
tic life to try her fortune, as physician or lecturer man has 
been allured from the platform to a coverted place next to 
the man-milliner and the man-dressmaker. This scientific 
man-milkmaid has not yet perfected a milking machine, but 
he bids fair to go down to posterity as famous as the 
alchemist over his crucible seeking the philosopher’s stone. 
All hail the man-milkmaid over his vats transmitting lard 
into butter! 
Sometimes a huge joke is perpetrated in spite of every¬ 
body and anybody. Such was that of the monster cheese 
