icwlies 
mraori 
a me 
first to a female after the resurrection, for it that pass for cherubs in painting and sculpture. Go¬ 
of them shot a bird. 
Coming neai 
appearing 
was done that the glad tidings m: 
sooner.” 
The was a young lady from the city, and he asked 
her if she would partake of an ice-cream 
answered : “ If it’s good, square confectioner’s cream, 
I’m there; but if it’s picnic or : 
slush, count me out! ” 
A clerical candidate for a lectureship somewhere 
in England was called upon to deliver a discourse be¬ 
fore the trustees of the endowment, and in 
show his cleverness he took for his text the single word 
“ but.” He thereupon proceeded to show that no po- 
dght spread the ing out a-gunning together, one 
and the other ran to secure the trophy 
where it had fallen, he found a white owl so sprawled 
She gently in the grass, as to present to his view only a head 
with staring eyes and a pair of wings attached. In¬ 
strawberry-festival stantly he shouted in dismay : “ Ye’re in for it now, 
Jock, ye’ve shot a cherubim !” 
A gentleman had occasion to correct his daughter, 
;ed four, recently. After it was over, and she had 
order to sat awhile, she went to her mother and inquired:— 
“Don’t you think it would do papa good to go out¬ 
doors ? ” 
__ “You politicians 
old business 
Whittier Telling at School. —A correspondent 
of the Cincinnati Enquirer tells this anecdote of the 
poet Whittier’s success in aiding a little girl at a 
school examination : 
You know Whittier’s love for children. The aged 
poet this winter lias renewed his youth, like the eagle’s, 
in a handsome overcoat of the purest Ulster pattern, 
clad upon with which he attended last week’s school 
examination up among the Berkshire hills, so dear to 
him. He was standing beside tl: 
catechising a dimpled little dot in 
geography. 
“ What are the provinces of 
Ireland ? ” asked the teacher. 
“ Potatoes, whiskey, aldermen, 
patriotism, and—” ' began the 
child. 
“No, no,” interrupted the 
teacher; “I didn’t mean pro¬ 
ducts ; I said provinces.” 
“Oh,” said the girl, “Con¬ 
naught, Leinster, Munster, and 
—and—” Here she stuck, put 
her chubby finger in her rosebud 
mouth, and sought inspiration 
successively in her toes, the cor¬ 
ner of her apron, the ceiling and 
the poet. All children love the 
dear old Quaker poet’s kindly 
face. He smiled; her face 
brightened sympathetically. The 
entente cordiale had been estab¬ 
lished between them. He patted 
his coat significantly; she looked 
at him inquiringly; he nodded, 
and she burst out— 
“ Oh, Miss Simmons, I know 
now. They are Connaught, 
Leinster, Munster, and Over¬ 
coat ! ” 
The first time that General 
Custer set his handsome eyes up¬ 
on his future wife was when he 
was fifteen years old, and going 
to school in Monroe, Mich, Go¬ 
ing along the street one day, the 
rough, flaxen-headed, freckled¬ 
faced boy passed a little black- 
eyed, eight-year-old girl swing¬ 
ing on a gate. She was a pretty 
little creature, her father’s pet, an 
only child, and naturally spoiled. 
are queer 
people,” said an 
man to an impecunious partisan. 
“ How so ? ” asked the politician. 
“Why, because you trouble your¬ 
selves more about the payment of 
the debts of the State than you do 
about your own ! ” 
An Irishman to whom some 
wonderful story was told on the 
authority of a penny paper, de¬ 
clined to believe it, saying he dis¬ 
trusted all he saw- in the “ cheap 
prints.” “ Why shouldn’t you 
believe the cheap papers,” he was 
asked, “as soon as any other"?” 
“Because,” was his ready an¬ 
swer, “I don’t think they can 
afford to speak the truth for the 
money.” 
A stout German in the beer 
industry to an. unprofitable cus¬ 
tomer: “Here, now, you took 
dose doors und walk owet mid 
your ears, eh"?” (He doesn’t.) 
“ Heim, you don’t got out ? Yell, 
you waits a minute und I gets a 
man dot vill! ” 
“ Oh, heavens, save my wife !” 
shouted a man whose wife had 
fallen overboard in the Hudson 
river, recently. They succeeded 
in rescuing her. And her hus¬ 
band tenderly embraced her, say¬ 
ing, “My dear, if you’d been 
drowned, what should I have 
done? I ain’t going to let you 
carry the pocketbook again.” 
A Chinese laundry man died 
of starvation at Louisville, the 
other day, with these pathetic 
and expressive words on his lips : 
“ Bes’ thing Chinaman do in 
cross or opposite Kentuckee he die—flee weekee—only washee lun 
any passages of 1 shirtee—him get no payee—heap stlarve on nothling.” 
ran of valor, but 
plain were fruit Junior, translating the passage from the modern 
wful sinners I ^ erman comedy: “MZs ich meine eleganteste Shawl 
etc When the aus ^ er Wasehe ziehe —” looks at the notes, and find- 
, and entered the in S “ sllawl: anglicism,” renders : “ When I took my 
arked “ Sir you most elegant anglicism out of the wardrobe.” 
rnd we are much A young gentleman who moves in the best so¬ 
ils: you are the ciety of San Antonio, said the other evening to a 
young lady, “ The foliage is much more exuberant 
h lads who knew this year than usual.” “ Tes,” she answered, thought- 
rut were familiar fully, “ All them imported fruits is cheaper than they 
WM 
“When the Swallows Homeward Ply.” 
