aeijmriifm, 
“Yes, my son,” said a fond parent to his attentive 
son, “the very hairs of our heads are numbered.” 
“ Huh ! ” exclaimed tire youth, gazing inquiringly 
upon the baldness of the aged parent’s head, “ that's 
nothing.” 
Why, Indeed P— Aunt Towser supposes that the 
Lord Chambermaid 
mu st have been in- 
!i y -y •' terfering with the 
«l • C theatres again, as she 
I i|„reads at i he St. 
I »’iM t George’s Hall they 
■ are performing, 
■ .. * Once in a Cen- 
tury.” Why don’t 
he shut up the place 
altogether ? 
enced by a young man from Syracuse, who escorted an 
East Koine girl home Sunday night, and was detected 
by her father just as he was putting his mustache 
where it would do her the most good. 
Patron.—“ Oh, the hanimai be all right ; but, 1 
In an assize court the crier was old and deaf. 
Arabella Hanks,” said the Judge. Eutertainh 
doubt of the name, 
the crier arose from j |||j|||jj||| |||| |||||]|||||j|||||||||||j||| || 
his seat and said with 1 1 1 
a much puzzled look, 
“What, your lord- a] | j I I 111 I II 
ship ? ” “ Call Ara- I j ||| I | I 
bella Hanks, crier,” S||l|||i| U 1 
repeated the Judge, Bl lj|| ! IH i 
much provoked. The 
old crier thereupon, ^^M|SilSSS31| 1111‘IPIH^ flUlf 
with a countenance BstlllllillllllllllMIllfllilllMBll 11 
indicating both doubt AkA 
and desperation, in 
h i s loudest voice 
called out, “ Yaller HHQ Bi; i,Y 
Belly Shanks! Yal- BB ■1B|||||||H||||1I 
ler Belly Shanks!! SiiBi 
Shanks IM conm in- 
to the Court! ” It is 
needless to say that 
the seriousness of tire 't .) > I 
Court was compro- , ’ 11 
mised ; and quiet was ^ ^ ' 
restored only to be j >' ^ J . ,'V;1 J . , 
again disturbed by 
the laughter caused 
by the crier, who, in ■Bi HI 
answer to the Court 
as to whether or not 
the witness replied, s£SI|: 
said. “ No, my lord ; 
and I don’t believe 
there is such a person <4 j, 
in the town, fox 1 
have lived here forty jpr^frY | 
years, and I never § -i‘£Vy, w 
heard of him be- 
fore! ” 
“.tiave yon a copy 
of the Koran ? ” 
asked a young man 
in one of the city 
book stores a few 
days ago. 
“A book about 
corn 1 ?” inquired the 
clerk, evidently some¬ 
what puzzled. 
“ No, the Koran 
—al Koran Ma¬ 
homet.” 
“What is it, a 
novel ? ” asked clerk 
No. 2, coming to the 
rescue. 
“Must he some¬ 
thing just out,” sug¬ 
gested another. 
“No, no,” said the 
customer, “ the Ko¬ 
ran, the Mohamme¬ 
dan Bible.” 
“ Well, who is the 
author of it ? ” Exit 
customer i n great 
haste. Fact! 
An i n q u i sitive 
traveller, noticing 
that the man who sat 
beside him in the 
railway carriage had 
a hand on his hat, 
said, “ I see you are 
in mourning. Was it 
a near or distant rela¬ 
tive that you lost?” 
The bereaved one 
replied, 
“ Wal, he was 
pooty distant—-’bout 
thirty miles or so, by 
the turnpike.’ 
The intention of jssfe, " - - 
the old deacon was 
good, hut the way in 
which he worded his *—-— -———— " ~^ 
notice was infelicit¬ 
ous. He said : “ Any members of this congregation 
who have left off wearing apparel will please con¬ 
tribute the same to the poor.” A quiet smile pervaded 
the house. 
Preparing for the Party. 
say, can’t ye put me a-'bldin’ of ’is 7 ed, an’ the missis 
a-feedin’ ’im ? an’ our Billy rnoight be on ’is back, an’ 
Hiserbeller an’ Mary Hann a-lookin’ on; an’ while 
yer ’and’s in, ye rnoight chuck in the twins. What’s 
a dab o’ paint more or less ? ” 
The coldest storm wave of the season was experi 
