XL&inei tmi! -Pieiorkii: 
ome 
iamimruoii. 
109 
A pretty long list might he made of men who 
have owed their advancement in life to a smart an¬ 
swer given at the right moment. One of Napoleon’s 
veterans, who survived his master many years, was 
wont to recount with great glee how he had once 
picked up the emperor’s cocked hat at a review, 
when the latter, not noticing that he was a private, 
said carelessly, “Thank you, cap¬ 
tain.” “ In what regiment, sire?” 
instantly asked the ready-witted 
soldier. Napoleon, perceiving his 
mistake, answered with a smile: 
“ In my guard, for I see you 
know how to he prompt.” The 
newly-made officer received his 
commission next morning. 
A somewhat similar anecdote is 
related of Marshal Suvaroff, who, 
when receiving a despatch from the 
hands of a Russian sergeant who 
had greatly distinguished himself 
on the Danube, attempted to con¬ 
fuse the messenger by a series of 
whimsical questions, hut found him 
fully equal to the occasion. “ How 
many fish are there in the sea?” 
asked Suvaroff. “All that are not 
caught yet,” was the answer. 
“ How far is it to the moon ?” 
“ Two of your Excellency’s forced 
marches.” “ What would you do 
if you saw your men giving way in 
battle ?” “ I’d tell them that there 
was a wagon load of whiskey just 
behind the enemy’s line.” Baffled 
at all points, the marshal ended 
with “ What’s the difference be¬ 
tween your colonel and myself?” 
“My colonel cannot make me a 
lieutenant, but your Excellency has 
only to say the word.” “ I say it 
now, then,” said Suvaroff, “ and a 
right good officer you’ll be.” 
“ Yes, sir, that is—I—” 
“ Well, won’t you be kind enough to talk English ? 
It is good enough for me here.” 
“ Well,” said the clerk, flushing red in the face, 
anything to please you, sir.” 
The bluff, hearty party turns away, and strides in 
the direction of the reading-room, but the word 
“ boor ” which reaches him causes him to look back 
and remark: 
“ My friend, I am no boor. I can speak and 
write nine languages well enough to teach them in 
-University. I like my mother-tongue best of 
married three times, but had been unfortunate in 
each of his matrimonial ventures. His first wife was 
an extremely gay, fashionable, worldly woman ; the 
second was very fleshy, and too fond of good living, 
and the third was a perfect virago. The old gentle¬ 
man once thus expressed his opinion of his three bet¬ 
ter-halves : “ I am afraid,” said he, “ that my chance 
of salvation is very slim, for although I solemnly 
promised and vowed in baptism that I would renounce 
the world, the flesh, and the devil, yet I have embrac¬ 
ed them all in the persons of my three wives.” 
On one occasion the old gentleman was sitting by 
the fire with his wife (No. 3), and 
the cat and dog were sleeping com¬ 
fortably together on the hearth-rug, 
to which the old lady called her 
husband’s attention, saying: “My 
dear, why cannot you and I get 
along together as quietly and peace¬ 
ably as they do “ Humph !” 
said he, “ tie them together, and 
see what they will do then.” 
ill 
CURIOSITIES OP WOOING. 
m 
11 '-‘•'v'l iji 
I® 
In olden times it was the fashion 
for a suitor to go down on his knees 
to a lady when he asked her to be¬ 
come his wife, which with very 
stout gentlemen was an uncomfor¬ 
table proceeding. The way in 
which Daniel Webster proposed to 
Miss Fletcher was more modern, 
being at the same time neat and 
poetic. Like many another lover, 
he was once holding a skein of 
thread or wool which the lady had 
been unravelling. “ Grade,” said 
he, “ we have been untying knots; 
let us see if we cannot tie one 
which will not untie in a lifetime.” 
' 5/ " > With a piece of tape he fashioned 
the half of atrue-lover’s knot; Miss 
Fletcher perfected it, and a kiss put 
the seal to the symbolical bargain. 
HE LIKED HIS MOTHER- 
TONGUE. 
SUNLIGHT. 
A bluff, hearty, well-dressed 
party in spectacles had just banged 
his valise upon the counter and registered his name . 1 all, and believe that it answers all practical purposes 
“ Want some rooms. Wife and babies meet me in this country. In your intercourse with me be kind 
here to-morrow. Stop a week. How are you fixed ?” 
“ That will be an fait,' 1 ' 1 remarks the clerk, favor.” 
“ Give you a nice suite—just vacated by Count Sala- 
magundi, and—” 
“ Eh ?” 
“ I remarked that it would be an fait, and that we 
could give you a suite .” 
“ Or fay — sweet! Young man, what sort of things 
are those ? This is Boston, isn’t it 
Scenes at St. Auuustine, Florida. 
enough to use it, and you will do me a particular 
AN ECCENTRIC MINISTER. 
About the time that Queen Victoria ascended the 
throne there resided in the town of Stafford an eccen¬ 
tric old minister of the Church of England, of whom 
many amusing anecdotes are related. He had been 
It is not a little remarkable that 
intelligent men and women, know¬ 
ing by their own observation and 
experience how absolutely neces¬ 
sary to the growth and perfection of 
plants and animals light from the 
sun is, should fail to draw the inference as to its 
needs to human beings. No man would expect 
grass, grain, or vegetables to grow thriftily in dark¬ 
ness, nor even in shade. A little observation shows 
that shaded light keeps back growth and perfection. 
Under dense foliage of trees nothing grows as out¬ 
side in the broad light. House-plants, flowers, and 
shrubs are trained and educated to bear light, yet 
children are kept from the direct rays of the sun, as 
for the most part women are, and in a measure men 
also .—Laws of Life. 
