les 
V' 
ioneit 
i'a 
toiei 
and Pictorial Some 
iomjiaraom 
93 
in form and feature, face and limb, 
I grew so like my brother. 
That folks-got taking me for him, 
And each"for one another. 
It puzzled all, both kith and kin, 
It reached a dreadful pitch: 
For one of us was born a twin, 
And not a soul kne w which. 
One day, to make the matter worse, 
Before our names were fixed, 
And we were being washed by nurse, 
We got completely mixed. 
And so you see, by Fate’s decree, 
Or rather nurse’s whim. 
My brother John was christened “ me,” 
While I was christened “him.” 
This fatal likeness ever dogged 
Our footsteps when at school; 
For I was always getting flogged 
Since John turned out a fool. 
In fact, year after year the same 
Absurd mistake went on; 
And when I died the neighbors came 
And buried brother “John.” 
the respect due to the queen, his mother. The queen 
retired immediately to her own apartments, refusing 
to see any one. 
The motive of the queen’s withdrawal could not he 
concealed from the king, and he immediately began to 
reflect upon what had happened the previous day. At 
the same time he resolved to make all possible amends 
for the past. Ho ordered his servants to bring him a 
glass of wine, and taking it in his hand, went directly 
to the queen’s apartments, saying, “ My mother! I 
have only just learnt the manner in which I forgot 
myself in your presence; I come to beseech your for¬ 
giveness. To prove my steadfast resolution not to err 
again in such a manner, I drink this glass of wine to 
your health, swearing it shall be the last.” 
The king kept his word. 
The Strange Guest. —The gifted Sargent S. Pren¬ 
tiss once gave a sumptuous dinner to some friends at a 
hotel in Vicksburg. Early in the evening a stranger ! 
Failures in Business.— 
The man who has never 
failed in business cannot 
possibly know whether he 
is honest or not; he cannot 
possibly know whether he 
has any “ grit” in him, or 
is worth a button. It is 
the man who fails, and 
then rises, who is really 
great in his way. 
Peter Cooper failed in 
making hats, failed as a 
cabinet maker, locomotive 
builder, and grocer; but as 
often as he failed he “tried 
and tried again,” until he 
could stand upon his feet 
alone; then crowned his 
victory by giving a million 
dollars to help the boys in 
the time to come. 
Horace Greeley tried three 
or four lines of business be¬ 
fore he founded the New 
York Tribune, and made it 
worth a million of dollars. 
Patrick Henry failed at 
everything he undertook, 
until he made himself the 
orator of his age and nation. 
The founder of the New 
York Herald kept on fail¬ 
ing and sinking money for ten years, and then made | 
one of the most profitable newspapers on earth. 
An Unfortunate Old Lady.— An old lady as far- 
down the decline of life as 79, like people generally 
about her age, was constantly worrying about some¬ 
thing or other. She lost her spectacles on one occa¬ 
sion. These were replaced by a new pair, out of 
which one of the glasses soon followed the former 
missing pair. While the latter were being repaired 
the other pair was found. Finally both pair came 
home, and her indulgent son on the same day pre- 
sentedher with a pair of gold bows. On receiving the 
whole three pairs of specs in good order, the old lady 
in a subdued voice exclaimed, with a long-drawn 
sigh “ Oh dear, what have I got to worry about 
now?” 
The Glass of Wine. —Charles XII. king of Sweden, 
when still a young man, on one occasion took more 
wine than he ought, and when in this state, forgot 
Waiting for Papa. 
entered the room in a mistake. Prentiss courteously 
invited him to join the party. Before long the strange 
guest began boasting of how much he had drank during 
the day—a cocktail here, a smasher there, a julep in this 
place, a sling in that, and so on, apparently without end. 
At length Prentiss said : 
“Sir, do you believe in the doctrine of metempsy¬ 
chosis ?” 
“I don’t know,” was the reply, “and I don’t see 
that it has anything to do with what we are talking 
about.” 
“It has,” rejoined Prentiss, “much—much every 
way. I have firm faith in that doctrine. I believe that 
in the next life every man will be transformed into the 
thing for which he has best qualified himself in 
this. In that life, sir, you will become a corner 
groggery.” 
A young bachelor, who had been appointed sher¬ 
iff, was called upon to serve an attachment against a 
beautiful young widow. He accordingly called upon 
her, and said, 
“ Madam, I have an attachment for you.” 
The widow blushed, and said that his attachment 
was reciprocated. 
“You don’t understand me; you must proceed to 
court.” 
“I know it is leaj) year, sir, but I prefer you to do 
the courting.” 
“ Mrs. P -, this is no time for trifling ; the justice 
is waiting.” 
“ The justice! why, I prefer the parson.” 
A Clergyman being annoyed by some of his audi¬ 
ence leaving the church while he was speaking, took 
for his text: “Thou art weighed in the balance 
and found wanting.” After a few sentences, he 
said: “ You will please pass out as fast as you are 
weighed.” 
Young men who sit up late ou Saturday night 
playing cards, and who go 
to church the next morning 
with a “full deck ” in their 
pockets, should be careful 
about their being so be¬ 
stowed as not to fall out. 
When Bob Howe went to 
the Baptist meeting in 
Circlesville, and took his 
seat with his sweetheart 
in the front pew in the 
gallery, he had occasion 
to use his handkerchief, 
and drawing it from his 
breast pocket, drew with it 
the entire pack of “ Co¬ 
hen’s best linen,” which 
flew about below. The 
good minister “saw” it, 
and knowing whereof he 
spoke, simply observed, 
“ Young man, your psalm 
book has been poorly 
bound!” That seemed to 
be the prevalent opinion. 
A little girl asked a 
minister, “Do you think 
my father will go to heav¬ 
en?” “Why, yes, my 
child. Why do you ask ?” 
“Well, because if he don’t 
have his own way there, 
he won’t stay long, I was thinking.” 
Some of the “ poor white” families of the Southwest 
become exceedingly toughened by their life-long ex¬ 
posures and hardships. A lady, travelling among 
them, took shelter in a hut during a rain storm, 
and one of the barefooted daughters of the family 
coming in, who had been hunting for the cows, 
stood on the hearth to dry her clothes, to whom 
her mother said: “Sal, there’s a live coal under your 
foot.” The girl, whose soles were as hard as horn, 
merely turned her head and drawled out, “Which 
foot, mammy ?” 
Little girl—“ Mamma, I don’t think the people 
who make dolls are very pious people.” Mamma— 
“Why not my child?” Little girl — “Because you 
can never make them kneel. I always have 
to lay my doll down on her stomach to say her 
prayers.” 
M 
13 
rj 
i' 
Ml 
