HUMORS OF HYMNS. 
An English clergyman in a recent lecture on Con¬ 
gregational Psalmody gave some amusing instances of 
the incongruities that used to occur by the awkward 
divisions in repetition lines. Por instances, “Love 
thee better than before,” was divided “ Love thee 
bet-” ; “ My poor polluted heart ” became “ My poor 
pol-”; “We’ll catch the fleeting hour” was sung 
“We’ll catch the flee-”; “And take thy pilgrim 
home” became “ And take thy pil-”; “And in the 
pious he delights” was sung “ And in the pi and in 
the pi”; and “ Send down salvation from on high” 
became “ Send down sal-”. A soprano 
in one case sang “ Oh for a man,” and 
the chorus responded “Oh for a man¬ 
sion in the skies.” In one case the 
soprano modestly sang “Teach me to 
kiss ”; the alto took up the strain, 
“ Teach me to kiss,” while the base 
rendered it quite prosaic by singing 
“Teach me to kiss the rod.” 
Rather Hot. —At a dinner party in 
London last August, there were two 
sisters present, one a widow who had 
just, emerged from her weeds, the other 
not long married, whose husband had 
lately gone to India for a short time. 
A young barrister present was deputed 
to take the widow into dinner. Un¬ 
fortunately he was under the impres¬ 
sion that his partner was the married 
lady whose husband had just arrived in 
India. The conversation between them 
commenced by the lady’s remarking 
how extremely hot it was; “Yes, it is 
very hot,” returned the young barris¬ 
ter. Then a happy thought suggested 
itself to him, and he added with a 
cheerful smile, “ But not so hot as the 
place to which your husband has gone.” 
The look with which the lady answer¬ 
ed this “ happy thought ” will haunt 
that unhappy youth till his death. 
Episcopalians. —Bishop Talbot, of 
Indiana, tells a good story on himself, 
when he resided in Kentucky, before 
he became Bishop. He was travelling 
in the southern part of the State, on 
horseback, and stopped at a hotel over 
the night. At the supper table he 
silently asked a blessing before he be¬ 
gan to eat. The landlord, observing 
this, said to him, “Stranger, you are 
a preacher, are you not ? ” “Yes,” said 
the stranger. “What church do you belong to 1 ?” 
asked mine host. “ Episcopalian,” said Mr. Talbot. 
11 The tvhdtf” said the astonished landlord. “The 
Episcopalian church,” repeated Mr. Talbot. “Well, 
stranger,” said the host, “ I thought I knowed all the 
churches that are around in these parts, but hang me 
if I ever heard tell of the Episcolopian church before.” 
“ Oh,” said a man at the table, “ That is the church 
that worships its bishops, ain’t it I ” 
Hash. —A young man from the interior who had 
been visiting abroad came home recently, and at 
breakfast remarked, as he reached his plate over: 
“ Father, a little of the mixture in the brown dish, if 
you please, and a small piece of the prepared meat.” 
The old gentleman, who is a plain, matter-of-fact 
man, replied, as he loaded up the outstretched plate : 
“ We like to have you come a visitin’ us, John, but 
just remember that while you’re eatin’ here, if you 
want hash, say so ; and if you want sassage, call for 
sassage, and not go to spreadin’ on an Brooklyn 
misery at my table.” 
The Cullud Folks of Cincinnati have had a spell¬ 
ing match, in which, among others, a good old aunty 
participated. The climax was reached when Bev. 
James Johnson, being invited to spell “nosegay,” 
started off with a “N-o-u-s,” then, seeing the fog 
horn uplifted to blow him down, suddenly corrected 
himself to “N-o-u-g-h-s-d-a-y,” and stepped down 
and out amid tremendous rounds of “Hi, dar!” and 
applause. 
clean your walk, but don’t give him the job. His 
name’s Jim; he’s cross-eyed and he blows up cats with 
powder snaps. I’ll be here with my partner pretty 
soon. We go to Sunday-school, never sass our 
mothers, and we are going to give half the money to 
the grasshoppers.” The job was saved for him. 
Intellectual Culture. —A cultivated mind may be 
said to have infinite stores of innocent gratification. 
Everything may be made interesting to it, by becom¬ 
ing a subject of thought or inquiry. Books, regarded 
merely as a gratification, are worth more than all the 
luxuries on earth. A taste for literature secures 
cheerful occupation for the unemployed and languid 
hours of life ; and how many persons in these hours, 
for want of innocent resources, are now impelled to 
coarse pleasures ! How many young men can be found, 
who, unaccustomed to find a compan¬ 
ion in a book, and strangers to intel¬ 
lectual activity, are almost driven, in 
the long dull evenings of winter, to 
haunts of intemperance and vice! 
The Rothschild Women. — We 
take pleasure, in referring to the merits 
of the Rothschild family, not because 
they are wealthy, but for the simple 
reason that in spite of their wealth 
they strive tube useful to their kind. 
The men are immersed in business; 
they are charitable; but the people 
will say that it is easy to be charitable 
if you are rich. The women are pub¬ 
lic-spirited, intelligent, and warm¬ 
hearted, founding hospitals, reforma¬ 
tories, children’s homes,endowing scho¬ 
lastic institutions, encouraging strug¬ 
gling professionals, and taking a per¬ 
sonal interest in the doings of the 
poor. Baroness Lionel makes weekly 
visits in the meanest portions of Lon¬ 
don, brightening the home of the 
Jewish artisan, giving her good coun¬ 
sel to the earnest teachers of the free 
schools, the matrons and assistants of 
the various charities. The daughter of 
Alphonse, of Paris, teaches a good 
lesson to her sisters in faith, and to 
rich young ladies of every creed, by 
receiving a well deserved diploma as 
teacher. Anselm’s daughter,inVienna, 
is prominent in music, not only com¬ 
posing songs that attain popularity, 
but aiding struggling musicians by 
pen and purse. 
In The Woods. 
A Milwaukee Chap kissed his girl about forty 
times right straight along, and when he stopped the 
tears came into her eyes, and she said in a sad tone of 
voice: “Ah! John, I feel you have ceased to love 
me.” “No, I haven’t,” replied John, but I must 
breathe.” 
A Colored congregation in Dayton have decided to 
forgive their clergyman for betting on three-card 
monte and losing $90 of festival money. One of the 
deacons remarked : “ We is all human, and de game 
is werry exciting.” 
A Boy about twelve years old, knocked at the door 
of a house in Detroit, and when the lady appeared he 
said : “ There’ll be a hoy around here pretty soon to 
Too Reserved by Half. —True, 
actions speak louder than words; yet 
it will do no harm to occasionally say 
to your friend, “I esteem you.” Evi¬ 
dently four year-old Nilie was of that ojfinion. He 
had been my favorite play-fellow all the summer. But 
one day he sat by my side for a long time, unusually 
thoughtful. At last he turned and said : “ A-, 
do you love me?” “Why, Nilie,” said I, “of course 
I love you. What made you think I did not ? ” 
He answered: “Well, I didn’t know; I never heard 
you say much about it.” There’s a whole sermon for 
you. Profit by it as did Nilie’s friend. 
A Bashful young man escorted an equally bashful 
young lady home. As they approached the dwelling of 
the damsel, she said, “Mr. MacSnuff, don’t tell any¬ 
body you beau’dme'home.” Miss Angelina Stirrup,” said 
he, “ I am as much ashamed of it as you are.” 
