&£e Rallies' Morel Hafiiiiel hr 3 Pictorial Home iKompanioii, 
THE DAIRY MAID. 
The girl engaged in molding bread 
Shall make some sweetheart flutter 
"With hope to get the dairy maid 
To make his bread and butter. 
She may not play the game croquet, 
Or French and German stutter, 
If well she knows the curd from whey, 
And makes sweet bread and butter. 
In meal and cream she’s elbow deep, 
And c nnot stop to putter ; 
But says if he will sow and reap, 
She’ll make his bread and butter. 
The dairy maid, the farmer’s wife, 
Shall be the toast we utter; 
Alone, man leads a crusty life, 
Without good bread and butter. 
A Thick-headed Husband.— A pious old laay, 
who was too unwell to attend her meetings, used to 
send her thick-headed husband to church to find out 
the text the preacher selected as the foundation of his 
discourse. The poor dunce was rarely fortunate enough 
to remember the 
words of the text, 
oi 1 even the chap¬ 
ter and verse where 
they could be fouud; 
but one Sabbath he 
ran home in hot 
haste, and, with a 
smirk of self-satis¬ 
faction on his face, 
informed his wife 
that he could re¬ 
peat every word, 
without missing a 
syllable. 
The words were, 
“ An angel came 
down from heaven 
and took a live coal 
from the altar.” 
“Well, let us 
have the text,” re¬ 
marked the good 
woman. 
“ I know every 
word,” replied the 
husband. 
“ I am very anx¬ 
ious to hear it,” 
continued the wife. 
“ They are very nice words,” observed the husband. 
“I am glad your memory is improving; but don’t 
keep me in suspense, dear.” 
Just get your big Bible, and I will say the words, 
for I know them by heart. Why, I said them a hun¬ 
dred times on my way home.” 
“Well, now, let’s hear them.” 
“Ahem. An Ingin came down from New Haven 
and took a live colt by the tail and jerked him out of 
the halter.” 
Prof. Elicott Evans tells this story concerning 
his grand-uncle, Joseph Elicott, and the chief Red 
Jacket: The two having met at Tonawanda Swamp, 
they sat down on a log which happened to he conve¬ 
nient, both being near the middle. Presently Red 
Jacket said, in his almost unintelligible English: 
“Move along, Jo.” Elicott did so, and the sachem 
moved up to him. In a few minutes came another re¬ 
quest: “Move along, Jo,” and again the agent com¬ 
plied and the chief followed. Scarcely had this been 
done when Red Jacket again said: “ Move along, Jo.” 
Much annoyed, but williug to humor him, aud not 
Seeing what he meant, Elicott complied, this time 
reaching the end of the log. But that was not enough, 
and presently the request was repeated for the fourth 
time: “Move along, Jo.” “ Why man,” angrily re¬ 
plied the agent, “ I can’t move any further without 
getting off from the log into the mud.” “Ugh! Just 
so white man. Want Indian move along—move along. 
Can’t go no further, but he say— ‘ move along.’ ” 
The Sister. —No household is complete without a 
sister. She gives the finish to the family. A sister’s 
love, a sister’s influence—what can he more hallowed ? 
A sister’s watchful care—can anything he more ten¬ 
der? A sister’s kindness — does the world show us 
anything more pure? Who would live without a sis¬ 
ter? A sister that is a sister in fidelity, in purity, in 
love, is a sort of guardian angel in the home circle. 
Her presence condemns vice. She is the quickeuer of 
good resolutions, the sunshine in the pathway of home. 
To every brother she is a light aud life. Her heart is 
the treasure-house of confidence. In her lie finds a 
A Quiet Nook. 
fast friend; a charitable, tender, forgiving, though 
often severe friend. In her he finds a ready compan¬ 
ion. Her sympathy is as open as day, and sweet as 
the fragrance of flowers. We pity the brother who 
has no sister, no sister’s love; we feel sorry for the 
home which is not enlivened by a sister’s presence. 
A sister’s office is a noble and gentle one. It is her’s 
to persuade to virtue, to win to wisdom’s ways ; gently 
to lead where duty calls; to guard the citadel of home 
with sleepless vigilance and virtue; to gather graces 
and strew flowers around the home altar. To be a 
sister is to hold a sweet place in the heart of home. 
It is to minister in a holy office. 
He was only a four-year old who pulled the 
door-bell the other day, and upon the lady of the house 
answering the call the innocent remarked: “ Please, 
ma’am, hut I coined to tell you some fellows are steal¬ 
ing your lilacs.” Somewhat like Tennyson’s Maud, 
this information caused her into the garden to go, 
where she surprised these felonious florists, and caused 
them to hurry over the fence. In token of her thank¬ 
fulness to the juvenile who informed, a large bunch of 
the purple plumes was presented, while he, on rejoin¬ 
ing his incensed comrades, with that same smile called 
childlike and bland, merely remarked, “If I was too 
little to climb, I wasn’t too little to tell on you.” 
“ What exquisite preserves, Mrs. Smoothly ! 
How do you have such splendid luck with every thing 
you put up?” complimented one of the ladies at the 
tea-table. “ What are they, by the way ?” Mrs. 
Smoothly is taken by surprise, hut recovers herself and 
calls the servant. “ 1 have not tasted them yet,” she 
said, “ and have really forgotten what I ordered the girl 
to put on for you. Bridget, what are these preserves I” 
“ Thira, ma’am? Thirty-five cents a can ; sorry the 
nickel less wuct the grocer take, and thim big green 
things in the dish beyant is fifty cents for a little glass 
jar.” Tableau of silence, and a good-hearted, honest 
girl out of a job two hours later. 
A strange clock is said to have once belonged to 
a Hindoo prince. lit front of the clock’s disk was a 
gong swung upon poles, and near it was a pile of art¬ 
ificial human limbs. 
The pile was made 
up of the number 
of parts necessary 
to constitute twelve 
perfect bodies, hut 
all lay heaped to¬ 
gether in apparent 
confusion. When 
the hands of the 
clock indicated the 
hour of one, out 
from the pile crawl¬ 
ed just the number 
of parts needed to 
form the frame of 
one man, part com¬ 
ing to part with a 
quick click ; when 
completed the fig¬ 
ure sprang up, seiz¬ 
ed a mallet, and 
walking up to the 
gong, struck one 
blow. This done, 
he returned to the 
pile and fell apart 
again. When two 
o’clock came, two 
men arose and did 
likewise; and at the hours of noon and midnight the 
entire heap sprung up, and marching to the gong, one 
struck, after the other, his blow, making twelve in all; 
then returning, fell to pieces as before. 
A fond father sent his young hopeful of four into 
an adjoining room to get a hook. The hoy came hack 
and said it wasn’t there. “ Yes it is, my son,” said 
the father; “it’s on the table.” The hoy went hack 
and reported again that there was no hook there. 
The father got impatient and sent another child for 
the hook, and in the mean time the mother brought 
the hook from a different room, with the remark, 
“ Here’s your hook ; it was on the mantelpiece.” The 
gentleman composed himself to read, and about ten 
minutes afterward discovered young hopeful still stand¬ 
ing by his chair. “Father,” he said, solemnly, 
“ there’s a fib about somewhere, and I didn’t tell it.” 
Walter Savage Landor, it is said, entering a 
hall-room, saw therein a young lady who pleased liis 
eye. He cried, “ The prettiest girl in the room ; I’ll 
' marry her!” And marry her he did, straightway. 
