1002 
RURAL.  NEW-YORKER 
July  2S,  1923 
Pastoral  Parson  and  His  Country  Folks 
By  Rev.  George  B.  Gilbert 
The  Circus. — Yes,  the  Parson  and  his 
family  have  been  to  the  circus.  It  was 
a  good  circus  and  we  had  a  great  time. 
It  was  terribly  hot,  as  it  ought  to  be  to 
make  a  circus  just  right.  The  walrus 
played  t>all  and  ,one  of  them  played 
America  on  a  cornet.  But  the  effects  of 
the  circus  did  not  stop  when  all  were 
safely  home.  The  professor  in  the  school 
of  pedagogy  used  to  tell  us  that  a  child 
learns  eight  times  as  much  by  imitation 
as  any  other  way.  Now  among  the 
many  stunts  of  the  acrobats  was  some 
wonderful  pole  vaulting.  So  a  few  days 
later,  one  stunt  led  to  another  with  the 
boys,  till  it  was  suggested  that  they  pole 
vault  from  the  roof  of  the  shed  by  the 
brook  over  across  quite  a  pool  there  is 
there.  They  got  a  long,  rather  crooked, 
old  iron  pipe  for  the  pole.  George,  who 
is  no  athlete,  never  tried  it  at  all,  though 
the  official  inquiry  showed  that  he  was 
rather  prominent  in  suggesting  it.  Shel¬ 
ley  gave  a  grand  run  across  the  roof  and 
came  down  kaplunk  in  about  a  foot  of 
water  and  about  two  feet  of  mud.  Clossie, 
who  is  the  athlete  of  the  family  so  far, 
did  it  successfully  several  time  but  then 
the  old  crooked  iron  pipe  twisted  on  him 
and  he  couldn’t  free  himself  from  it,  and 
came  down  on  his  side  with  the  pipe  un¬ 
der  him.  It  hurt  him  terribly  and  he 
was  in  bed  nearly  a  week,  under  the  doc¬ 
tor’s  care.  We  were  terribly  frightened 
as  there  seemed  to  be  internal  harm. 
But  he  is  better  now  and  will  come  along. 
This  on  top  of  George  cracking  the  bone 
in  his  arm,  ought  to  suffice  for  accidents 
this  Summer. 
By  the  Sea. — The  Parson  has  been 
down  talking  to  a  Summer  school  at  the 
southern  end  of  Delaware.  lie  was  to 
get  his  carfare  and  plenty  to  eat  and  the 
cooling  breezes  of  the  seaside.  The  first 
two  conditions  were  fulfilled  in  every  way 
but  the  last  one  fell  far  short.  The 
breezes  all  came  right  from  Delaware 
sand.  Talk  about  hot  weather !  The 
thermometer  right  on  the  side  of  a  ga¬ 
rage  by  the  hotel  said  108  in  the  shade — 
at  least  one  of  the  ministers  said  it  did. 
This  kind  of  weather  hung  for  three  days 
and  nights.  It  cured  the  Parson  of  any 
seashore  longing  he  may  ever  have  had. 
It  was  even  as  hot  as  this  on  the  old 
farm.  Had  the  Parson  had  a  big  maple 
tree  to  sit  under,  it  would  have  cooled 
him  off.  A  tree  is  a  regular  refrigerator. 
It  gets  cooled  off  during  the  night  and  it 
takes  a  long  time  for  the  sun  to  warm  it 
up  as  its  rays  cannot  get  at  its  heavy 
damp  woodwork. 
The  Old  Bishop. — While  down  there 
one  man  from  Virginia  fell  to  talking 
about  good  old  Bishop  Randolph  of  the 
diocese.  He  wtis  a  dear  old  soul  and  a 
great  preacher,  but  slightly  absent-minded. 
One  time  he  set  out  for  a  visitation  by 
train.  The  conductor  came  for  his 
ticket.  The  old  Bishop,  properly  wrapped 
up  in  Bishop’s  garb,  could  not  find  it. 
The  conductor  was  lenient,  he  came  hack 
for  it  but  it  could  not  be  located.  “Well, 
let  it  go  and  you  can  send  it  to  me  when 
you  get  home ;  we  all  know  you,”  said 
the  conductor.  “Oh.  it  isn’t  that ;  it  isn’t 
that  I’m  so  worried  about,  but  I  am  in 
an  awful  fix.  You  see  it  was  the  only 
way  I  had  in  the  world  of  telling  what 
station  I  was  going  to  get  off  at.” 
Another  time  his  wife  complained  bit¬ 
terly  that  he  had  no  time  to  pay  any  at¬ 
tention  to  her.  “Why,  you  haven’t  kissed 
me  today,”  she  exclaimed.  “Yes,  I  have,” 
he  said  positively.  “I  most  certainly 
kissed  you.”  “You  most  certainly  have 
not.”  she  answered.  “I  guess  I  know.” 
“Well,  well,  well.”  mused  the  Bishop  to 
•himself,  “I-er-wonder-er  who  it  was  I 
did  kiss.” 
The  old  Bishop  had  a  had  attack  of 
indigestion  and  his  doctor  advised  a  lit¬ 
tle  brandy  at  times  taken  in  warm  water. 
It  was  on  a  Saturday  and  he  had  to 
spend  the  day  at  a  little  hotel  and  go  off 
to  preach  that  evening.  He  feared  the 
hotel  folks  would  suspect  something  if 
he  ordered  up  warm  water.  “Say  you 
need  it  for  shaving,”  suggested  the  doc¬ 
tor.  “That  will  be  true  too.  Then  you 
can  put  some  of  it  in  the  brandy.”  Well 
the  man  came  for  the  Bishop  towards 
night  and  asked  if  there  was  a  Bishop 
there.  “Bishop,  no,  far  from  it.  There 
is  no  one  here  that  has  the  slightest  re¬ 
semblance  of  a  Bishop.”  “He  must  be 
here,”  said  the  man.  “Is  there  any  one 
here  at  all,”  “Yes,  there  is  a  man  here 
but  he  is  just  as  crazy  as  a  loon.  There 
he  is  now,  down  there  by  tbe  supper  ta¬ 
ble.”  The  man  looked  and  there,  sure 
enough  was  the  Bishop.  “Why  in  the 
world  do  you  call  that  man  crazy?”  be 
exclaimed.  “Reason  enough,”  he  ans¬ 
wered.  “Hasn’t  he  sent  down  for  shaving 
water  seven  times  today?” 
'Old  Vermont. — From  Delaware  the 
Parson  made  a  jump  up  into  New 
Hampshire  where  he  spoke  to  about  200 
church  workers  at  Concord.  His  methods 
of  doing  country  church  work  seemed  to 
meet  with  great  approval  from  the  whole 
company.  As  near  as  could  be  calculated 
from  the  Government’s  figures  telling 
how  many  people  actually  live  on  the 
farms  in  every  State  and  from  such 
church  surveys  as  have  actually  been 
made  in  New  England,  there  are  500.- 
302  people  who  live  on  farms  in  New 
England  that  never  go  to  church.  For 
the  most  part,  the  real  country  church 
in  New  England  is  failing  to  carry  out 
the  plan  of  its  Founder  to  seek  and  to 
save  those  that  are  lost.  How  many  ot 
these  churches  are  really  a  vital  force 
in  the  community?  In  the  Parson’s  old 
home  town,  there  are  three  churches  and 
he  spoke  in  two  of  them  the  day  he  was 
up  there.  It  actually  lo  »ks  as  though 
one  of  them,  the  Methodist,  would  have 
an  Old  Home  Day  this  Summer  and  have 
the  people  all  picnic  around  the  church 
and  spend  the  whole  day ;  and  if  they 
have  a  fine  social  time  that  day,  it  is 
conceivable  that  they  might  do  that  way 
oftener  rhan  once  a  year  -  then  in  due 
time  do  it  ev<  ry  Sunday  as  they  should. 
The  Seed  Potatoes. — Right  across 
from  the  “old  place”  in  Vermont  is  one 
piece  of  20  acres  of  seed  potatoes.  The 
t'eimont  seed  has  shown  up  remarkab  y 
well  lately  and  those  who  planted  it  in 
this  section  are  mor«  than  pleased.  At 
i  i  ear  neighbor’s  where  several  different 
kinds  of  seeds  were  planted,  the  Vermont 
seed  looks  altogether  the  best  so  far.  All 
the  Parson  s  church  people  down  county 
planted  this  seed  and  there  is  quite  a 
friendly  contest  on  as  to  who  has  got  the 
best  piece  of  potatoes.  The  church  has 
offered  a  jack  knife  for  the  best-looking 
stand  and  we  are  going  to  have  an  in¬ 
spection  soon  and  try  to  determine  their 
relative  appearance.  Really  the  proof 
will  be  in  the  digging,  but  you  can  tell  a 
lot  by  appearances.  There  certainly  has 
been  more  hoeing  potatoes  in  that  section 
that  the  Parson  has  ever  known  before. 
Why  would  it  not  be  a  good  idea  for 
country  churches  to  have  an  inspection 
Sunday  afternoon  and  all  hands  go 
around  and  inspect  the  crops  of  the 
others?  The  Saturday  before  would  be 
a  bad  day  for  the  weeds,  and  a  hard 
time  for  the  bugs."  Here  it  is  so  dry  that 
the  potato  crop  will  suffer.  It  has  not 
rained  for  most  two  weeks  and  there  is 
no  more  sign  of  rain  now  than  on  the  des¬ 
ert.  We  never  saw  such  a  time  for  haying 
— you  could  not  get  the  hay  wet  if  you 
tried.  We  cut  most  of  the  oats  for  hay, 
saving  enough  to  make  scratch  litter  for 
the  hens.  They  do  love  a  forkful  of  un¬ 
thrashed  oats  on  a  cold  morning  in  Win¬ 
ter. 
All  at  Home. — Since  the  above,  the 
Parson  has  stopped  off  to  go  over  and 
have  a  swim — all  five  children  and  Dad. 
Such  a  good  time  as  we  had.  Even  lit¬ 
tle  Ta  has  his  suit  and  goes  over  too.  I 
suppose  some  would  think  it  queer  that 
the  boys  stay  around  home  this  Summer 
with  such  little  farming  as  we  have  to 
do.  But  the  Parson  hates  the  thought  of 
any  of  them  going  away — we  have  such 
good  times.  Then  the  Parson  does  not 
have  to  work  nearly  as  hard  as  he  used 
to.  He  never  has  to  touch  a  car  now. 
Shelley  is  the  repairman  and  two  cars 
are  enough  to  keep  any  man  busy  most 
of  the  time.  Then  there  is  the  music  to 
practice  for  the  orchestra  and  ice  cream 
to  make  just  about  every  other  day ; 
there  is  quite  a  big  woodpile  to  split  up 
and  we  hope  to  cut  some  more  in  Au¬ 
gust.  Shelley  goes  in  town  every  day  to 
practice  on  a  big  pipe  organ,  and  above 
all  we  are  all  at  home  together.  The 
boys  will  be  off  and  away  soon  enough, 
heaven  knowTs. 
That  Woodchuck.  —  The  Parson's 
writing  has  just  been  disturbed  by  the  ap¬ 
pearance  of  George  and  Clossie  in  great 
excitement.  Cutting  the  hay  disclosed 
the  damage  the  woodchucks  were  doing 
— -more  on  the  place  than  the  Parson  has 
ever  known.  Clossie  has  set  some  traps 
from  which  they  seem  to  free  themselves 
with  perfect  ease.  But  George  struck 
out  tonight  with  an  old  shot  gun.  The 
Parson  heard  it  go  off  and  would  have 
wagered  five  to  nothing  that  he  never 
hit  the  chuck  and  ten  to  nothing  that 
if  he  did  the  critter  got  into  his  hole. 
But  sure  enough  here  is  George  with  his 
first  game — the  first  time  he  ever  shot 
at  a  living  thing.  The  cows  are  not 
driven  home  yet  and  the  calf  is  blatting 
behind  the  barn,  and  George  is  stalking 
another  old  fellow  up  above  the  corn. 
Well,  the  old  cow  won’t  mind,  why  be 
a  slave  to  a  cow !  She  ought  to  be 
milked  on  time  of  course  but  once  in  a 
great  while  will  not  matter.  iWe  eat  the 
young  woodchucks  and  they  are  fine  and 
tender — like  chicken.  Such  a  good  time 
as  the  boys  have  after  them.  They  have 
years  enough  of  work  ahead  of  them  and 
again  the  Parson  says  he  is  glad  we  can 
all  be  at  home  this  Summer  and  that 
haying  done  we  neither  work  very 
early  in  morning  or  late  at  night. 
Farmhouse  C  ii  u  r  c  ii.  —  We  had  a 
great  time  down  at  a  neighborhood  mis¬ 
sion  yesterday.  For  today  is  Monday, 
July  16.  In  this  district  we  have  hired 
an  abandoned  farmhouse  for  $2  a  month. 
It  was  some  job  to  clean  the  place  out, 
but  the  Parson  changed  work  with  some 
children  nearby  and  he  cultivated  their 
potatoes  while  they  cleaned  the  house. 
The  worst  job  was  getting  down  there 
eight  miles  in  a  lumber  wagon.  This  big 
old  kitchen  has  a  fine  fireplace  in  it,  and 
what  a  grand  time  we  will  have  round 
that  old  fireplace  this  Winter.  Yester¬ 
day  we  had  an  all  day  session  down 
there.  Service  in  the  forenoon  and  the 
picnic  dinner  under  the  big  maple  by 
the  house.  We  had  a  table  out  under  the 
tree  and  three  gallons  of  ice  cream,  and 
in  the  afternoon  we  went  over  in  the  pas¬ 
ture  and  had  a  fine  game  of  ball.  We 
were  going  to  have  another  service  but 
it  looked  like  rain  and  began  to  sprinkle, 
so  we  all  had  to  go  home.  There  were 
just  40  people  there.  We  made  cocoa 
on  the  old  fireplace.  The  day  we  cleaned 
up  the  place  aud  the  Parson  cultivated 
the  potatoes  we  had  all-hots,  cooked  in 
the  fireplace,  and  the  children  and  the 
Parson  had  a  great  feast.  We  are  going 
to  buy  some  kettles  to  hang  on  the  crane 
in  the  fireplace  and  have  some  great 
stews  there  this  Fall,  and  popcorn  after 
the  meeting.  We  had  one  or  two  autos 
out  from  the  neighborhood  but  the  Par¬ 
son  will  politely  hint  to  them  that  they 
better  attend  church  elsewhere.  We  have 
no  room  or  chairs  enough  for  our  own 
neighborhood  folks  that  want  to  come. 
We  meet  again  this  Saturday  night  and 
the  Parson  is  going  to  try  to  go  down 
early  enough  to  have  the  little  children 
of  the  neighborhood  come  in,  and  we  will 
all  cook  supper  together.  Do  you  think 
they  will  show  up  to  church  the  next 
Sunday? 
At  Churoii. — We  have  had  dinner  at 
one  place  after  church  for  many  years, 
but  now  at  another  place  we  have  supper 
after  church.  “Why  can’t  we  have  nice 
times  here  and  all  eat  together  the  way 
they  do  over  to  that  other  church?”  asked 
one  of  the  ladies  at  a  business  meeting 
we  were  having.  The  Parson  informed 
the  meeting  lie  would  be  most  delighted 
with  such  a  plan.  The  service  here  is 
at  three  o’clock  in  the  afternoon.  We 
have  the  ladies  divided  into  three  groups, 
each  group  taking  charge  for  a  month. 
Everybody  brings  food,  but  this  group 
has  the  charge  of  the  tables  and  cleans 
up  afterwards.  It  has  worked  fine.  We 
had  salads  and  sandwiches  and  coffee  and 
milk  and  doughnuts,  etc.  Next  Sunday 
we  have  Old  Home  Day  in  this  church 
at  the  same  hour  in  the  afternoon  and 
all  who  can  will  stay  to  supper. 
•  Education. — What  is  an  educa¬ 
tion  .  The  Parson  has  been  musing  about 
P-  a  boy  it  was  drilled  into  him  that 
education  was  simply  book  learning. 
Nothing  else  counted.  Particularly  noth¬ 
ing  done  on  a  farm  even  scented  of  edu¬ 
cation.  But  the  Parson  has  learned  bet- 
Here  is  a  man  down  country  who 
had  little  chance  indeed  for  book  learning, 
that  the  Parson  thinks  has  something  of 
an  education  at  that.  When  he  needs  a 
horse  rake,  he  goes  out  and  buys  one  that 
was  deserted  in  the  corner  ‘of  the  lot 
somewhere,  the  iron  good  but  the  wood 
all  gone.  Then  he  goes  into  the  woods, 
cuts  down  a  tree,  takes  it  to  the  saw¬ 
mill.  has  it  sawed  to  suit  him,  and  then 
goes  home  and  makes  up  a  better  rake 
than  you  could  buy.  ’When  he  wants  a 
scythe  snath,  he  goes  into  the  woods, 
cuts  a  crooked  tree  and  makes  one.  When 
he  wants  an  ax  handle  he  does  the  same 
and  makes  extra  ones  to  sell  to  the  neigh* 
bors.  He  shoes  his  own  horses  always. 
He  had  a  plow  but  the  points  wore  out. 
Hie  hrm  had  gone  out  of  business  am! 
he  could  not  buy  one  anywhere.  lie 
took  a  .  piece  of  board  and  his  trusty 
jack  knife  and  made  an  absolutely  per¬ 
fect  pattern  of  the  point,  and  he  had  onlv 
a  worn-out  point  to  go  by.  This  pat¬ 
tern  he  took  to  the  foundry  and  had  a 
point  made.  Now  that  man  has  an  edu¬ 
cation,  who  says  he  has  not? 
Here,  in  another  town,  is  another  man. 
He  has  no  great  book  learning  but  what 
could  that  town  do  without  him?  He 
takes  care  of  the  cemetery.  He  does  a 
job  of  painting  for  one  family ;  a  dav  at 
papering  for  another.  lie  goes  carpen¬ 
tering  for  a  week  for  another  man  and 
in  the  evening  he  hones  his  razor  for  him 
I  wo  nights  a  week  he  opens  up  a  barber 
shop  for  the  community.  When  he 
harnesses  a  horse  he  does  it  right  The 
breeching  is  not  too  high  or  too  low. 
too  tight  or  too  loose — it  is  just  where  it 
ought  to  be  or  he  would  not  move  an  inch 
He.  knows  just  how  to  hoe  a  hill  of  corn 
so  it  won  t  dry  up  and  when  lie  mows  he 
mows  just  right— the  heel  of  his  scvthe 
close  to  the  ground.  What  would  that 
“Hie  village  where  he  lives  do  without 
Inm?  And  who  will  say  he  has  no  edu¬ 
cation.''  Phis  Spring  a  man  who  has  the 
degree  of  Master  of  Arts  at  Harvard  was 
i  unning  a  potato  planter.  It  bothered 
him.  The  belt  would  come  off  and  he 
could  not  get  it  on.  nor  would  it  stay  on 
if  he  got  it  on.  He  worked  and  worked 
on  it.  Then  there  came  along  the  road 
the  neighborhood  “good-for-nothing”  _ 
probably  never  passed  the  third  grade. 
Had  recently  been  convicted  of  stealing. 
He  never  handled  such  a  machine  before 
But  he  sauntered  up  and  looked  at  it 
It  was  almost  no  time  before  he  had  the 
belt  on  and  not  only  that  but  he  fixed 
the  machine  so  the  belt  did  not  come  off 
any  more.  Both  of  these  have  an  educa¬ 
tion  but  it  is  not  complete — each  needs 
what  the  other  has  got.  A  balanced  edu¬ 
cation  is  like  a  balanced  ration — it  de¬ 
livers  the  goods. 
The  Parson  must  close  here.  Every¬ 
one  has  gone  to  bed  but  George,  who  is 
filling  out  an  application  for  the  Junior 
Short  Course  at  Storrs  in  August.  The 
Parson  must  catch  those  chickens  that 
persist  in  roosting  in  the  woodshed  and 
carry  them  over  to  the  chicken  yard. 
Then  he  can  go  too. 
