1398 
ft*  RURAL  NEW. YORKER 
November  10,  1923 
Hope  Farm  Notes 
“Charlie  and  Henry” 
Part  I 
In  one  of  George  Ade’s  “Fables  in 
Slang”  we  are  told  of  two  men  who  ran 
a  grocery  store  in  partnership.  They 
were  a  strangely  matched  pair.  Charlie 
was  what  we  call  a  jollier.  He  had  a 
smile,  a  laugh  and  a  glad  hand,  and  that 
was  about  all.  You  just  had  to  buy  goods 
when  Charlie  got  after  you.  You  might 
come  to  the  store  prepared  to  order  a 
yeast  cake,  but  Charlie  would  send  you 
home  loaded  with  soap,  butter,  cheese, 
sugar  and  what  not !  A  great  salesman, 
Charlie,  but  that  was  as  far  as  he  went. 
Henry  was  a  sour,  mean-looking  man, 
who  repelled  customers.  When  Charlie 
smiled  at  you  he  seemed  to  be  saying  ‘‘I 
wish  I  could  give  you  a  thousand  dollars. 
That’s  a  fine  child  you  have  there.  I  wTish 
I  had  a  dozen  just  like  him.” 
When  Henry  scowled  at  you  he  seemed 
to  say : 
“You  can  have  the  goods,  but  I’d  rather 
shoot  you  than  sell  you.  As  for  that 
fresh  brat  you  have  there — I’d  vote  for 
old  King  Herod  for  president  if  he  were 
alive.” 
You  never  saw  two  people  so  different 
in  nature.  Yet  this  very  difference  made 
the  business  prosperous.  Charlie  sold  the 
goods  and  drew  the  crowd.  Henry  did  the 
buying,  kept  down  expenses  and  pulled  the 
business  wires  behind  the  curtain.  Char¬ 
lie  plastered  his  hair  down  with  oil  into 
that  foolish  cowlick  down  over  the  fore¬ 
head  which  shallow-brained  people  affect. 
Henry’s  head  was  bald,  and  rose  up  in  the 
center  to  a  curious  peak.  His  eyes  were 
feeble,  and  he  seemed  to  glare  at  you 
through  great  horn  spectacles  until  you 
felt  a  creepy  feeling  at  your  back.  Y’et 
the  business  prospered  with  Charlie  to 
sell  and  Henry  to  manage.  Each  did  the 
part  he  was  best  suited,  for  and  the  com¬ 
bination  was  a  good  one.  It  would  have 
continued  good  if  outsiders  had  let  them 
alone. 
*  *  *  *  * 
Originally  it  started  in  a  woman’s  quar¬ 
rel.  That’s  about  the  most  malignant 
trouble  you  can  ever  get  going,  and  the 
hardest  to  switch  off.  Henry’s  wife  was 
constantly  at  her  husband  with  something 
like  this : 
“You  do  all  the  work  in  that  business. 
Charlie  just  has  a  good  time  out  in  front. 
You  are  the  brains  of  the  company  and 
everybody  knows  it.  That  counter  lizard 
out  there,  smiling  and  smirking  at  cus¬ 
tomers  couldn’t  live  without  you  to  keep 
things  straight.  He’s  a  parasite — that’s 
what  he  is!  You  ought  to  have  a  store  of 
your  own,  instead  of  paying  that  fashion 
plate  half  the  profits.” 
And  Charlie’s  wife  was  a  good  talker, 
too : 
“It’s  a  shame  to  be  tied  up  with  that 
old  stick-in-the-mud.  He  couldn’t  sell  a 
pound  of  sugar  without  making  people 
think  of  vinegar.  Everyone  knows  that 
you  are  the  business.  Feople  come  to 
trade  with  you.  That  old  stick  is  worth¬ 
less  to  you.  Why  don’t  you  start  a  new 
store  of  your  own,  and  get  all  the  profits. 
Everybody  feels  sorry  for  you !” 
Now  Henry  and  Charlie  both  knew  in 
their  hearts  that  they  were  one-sided  men. 
Charlie  knew  he  hated  figures  and  busi¬ 
ness.  and  Henry  knew  he  hated  people. 
Each  knew  well  enough  that  lie  needed 
his  opposite  to  square  out  his  life.  But 
what  can  you  do  when  your  wife  keeps 
at  you.  insisting  that  you  are  a  much- 
abused  man — carrying  a  business  parasite 
when  you  ought  to  be  free?  Henry  and 
Charlie  were  both  human,  and  this  long- 
continued  nagging  finally  had  its  effect. 
The  dashing  Charlie  came  to  think  of 
Henry  only  as  a  slow,  sour  old  stick  who 
could  not  possibly  develop  new  trade.  The 
businesslike  Henry  came  to  regard  his 
partner  as  merely  a  big  bluffer — an  open 
mouth,  with  no  brains  behind  it.  Finally, 
as  men  have  done  in  countless  cases  be¬ 
fore.  they  quarreled  and  separated.  The 
lawyers  pulled  the  business  apart,  and  got 
about  all  there  was  in  sight.  Charlie  took 
what  was  left  for  him.  borrowed  some 
money  at  the  bank  and  opened  a  rival 
grocery  store,  determineed  to  “run  Henry 
out.”  The  town  was  really  too  small  to 
support  two  good  stores,  but  when  two 
wives  push  their  husbands  on  to  conflict, 
the  world  is  really  too  small  to  stage  the 
battle. 
From  the  start  the  crowd  all  ran  after 
Charlie.  His  store  was  crowded.  Henry 
could  only  look  out  through  his  window 
and  see  a  long  procession  crowding  into 
his  rival’s  store,  where  Charlie  ^stood, 
bowing  and  smiling  upon  all.  Nobody 
came  near  Henry.  Charlie  had  all  the 
trade,  but  he  never  knew  whether  he  sold 
at  a  profit  or  loss.  There  was  no  cool, 
hard  head  back  of  him,  keeping  track  of 
figures  and  killing  expenses.  Henry  knew 
just  what  his  goods  cost  and  all  about 
them,  but  nobody  came  to  buy.  In  six 
months  both  failed.  It  was  found  that 
Charlie  had  been  selling  for  less  than  he 
paid,  and  trusting  every  dead-beat  in 
town.  The  bank  closed  on  him.  Henry 
could  not  turn  his  goods  over  because  he 
was  no  salesman.  Both  being  one-sided 
men,  each  needed  the  other.  \\  ben  they 
tried  to  go  it  alone  they  failed ! 
***** 
George  Ade  wrote  that  as  a  fable,  but  I 
find  that  in  reality  it  is  a  most  solemn 
truth.  I  have  t®ld  several  people  about 
it,  and  in  each  case  it  recalled  a  real  inci¬ 
dent  where  men  have  acted  in  just  that 
way.  They  succeeded  while  they  kept  to¬ 
gether,  each  conscious  of  his  own  weak¬ 
ness  and  the  other’s  strength,  but  when 
they  developed  a  case  of  the  “big  head” 
and  each  came  to  think  himself  the 
“whole  works,”  they  separated  —  and 
failed !  This  not  only  holds  true  of  busi¬ 
ness  relations  between  men,  but  it  is  also 
true  of  many  a  marriage.  A  man  and  a 
woman  will  start  out  to  make  a  home  and 
conduct  the  rather  trying  business  of  run¬ 
ning  a  family.  I  notice  that  some  people 
go  hunting  for  a  marriage  partner  who  is 
just  like  themselves  in  temper  and  brain 
activity.  I  think,  however,  it  is  an  instinct 
of  the  human  race  to  select  “opposites” — 
so  far  as  the  ordinary  person  is  given 
the  power  of  such  selection.  And  where 
such  opposite  characters  maintain  the 
home  as  Charlie  and  Henry  did  in  their 
business  before  outsiders  interfered,  it  is 
an  ideal  arrangement.  My  observation 
has  been  that  many  a  family  break  or  jar 
has  been  brought  about  through  a  failure 
of  man  and  wife  to  realize  that  the  other 
partner  had  some  needful  quality  which 
he  or  she  lacked.  The  weakness  of  one 
may  become  a  strength  to  the  other  if, 
instead  of  despising  it  as  something  not 
needed,  we  learn  to  respect  it  as  some¬ 
thing  we  ought  to  have.  For  I  take  it  that 
all  the  emotions  and  habits  and  traits  of 
humanity  are  useful  and  needed.  Other¬ 
wise  they  would  not  have  been  .implanted 
in  the  race.  Think  it  over,  and  see  if  you 
cannot  recall  cases  within  your  own  ob¬ 
servation  where  men  and  women  have 
gambled  with  the  home  just  as  Charlie 
and  Henry  did  with  their  grocery  busi¬ 
ness. 
***** 
I  can  recall  one  typical  case  which  I 
ran  upon  when  I  taught  school  one  Win¬ 
ter  and  boarded  ’round.  Under  such  con¬ 
ditions  a  teacher,  if  he  is  a  good  “mixer” 
— that  is,  a  good  student  of  human  nature 
— comes  to  be  a  sort  of  social  shock  ab¬ 
sorber.  People  fight  their  battles  through 
him,  breathing  defiance  at  their  neighbors 
in  the  belief  that  teacher  will  carry  the 
word  and  possibly  magnify  it.  A  very 
cheap  and  effective  way,  that,  of  letting 
your  neighbor  know  what  you  think  of 
him.  In  one  case  I  am  quite  sure  that  I 
helped  bring  two  middle-aged  people  to¬ 
gether  by  reporting  what  a  maiden  lady 
had  to  say  about  her  bachelor  neighbor, 
and  frequently  husband  and  wife  would 
confide  in  the  teacher  and  tell  him  their 
troubles  and  complaints.  If  the  teacher 
is  wise  and  prudent  he  can  do  great  good 
in  such  a  neighborhood.  If  he  is  a  trouble 
maker  there  is  no  end  to  the  dalnage  he 
may  start.  I  usually  started  at  a  new 
place  on  Monday,  and  I  well  remember 
the  stormy  January  day  when  little  Nellie 
Baker  waited  for  me  after  school  to  take 
me  home.  She  was  a  pretty,  solemn-eyed 
child,  older  than  her  years.  As  I  finished 
sweeping  the  floor  and  closed  up  the  stove, 
Nellie  came  and  put  her  hand  on  my  arm. 
“Teacher,  I  want  to  tell  you  that  Pa 
and  Ma  kinda  fight  sometimes.  I  think 
Pa’s  awful  nice,  but  Ma  says  he  ain’t  got 
any  git-up  to  him.  I  think  Ma’s  awful 
smart,  but  Pa  says  she’s  a  spitfire.  Some¬ 
times  I  kinda  think  they’re  both  right.  I 
wish  Pa  could  talk  back  some,  like  Ma 
does,  and  I  wish  Ma  would  hold  in  and 
not  talk,  like  Pa  does.” 
That  was  all  I  could  get  the  little  girl 
to  say,  but  as  we  walked  silently  along 
the  stormy  way  I  knew  that  home  was 
much  like  that  grocery  business  of  Char¬ 
lie  and  Henry.  And  so  it  proved.  John 
Baker  proved  to  be  one  of  those  big. 
kindly,  genial  men — a  giant  in  size  and 
strength,  with  light  hair  and  a  great 
brown  beard. 
“Hello,  teacher,”  he  called,  “glad  to  see 
ye.  Walk  in  and  set  by.  How’s  the 
mouse?”  and  he  caught  up  the  little  girl 
and  tossed  her  in  the  air. 
“Now  then,  John  Baker,  you  put  that 
child  right  down  and  go  out  and  get  a 
bucket  of  fresh  water.  Quick  !” 
There  was  no  mistaking  Vi  Baker’s 
voice  of  command,  and  I  knew  just  what 
I  should  see  when  I  looked  at  the  kitchen 
door;  a  small,  trimly  built  woman  with 
dark  hair  and  snappy  black  eyes,  a  small 
firm  mouth  and  shoulders  which  reminded 
you  of  an  electric  dynamo.  Somehow  you 
expected  to  see  electric  sparks  flashing  up 
around  her  head.  A  pretty  little  woman, 
with  a  kindly  face,  except  when  she  felt  it 
necessary  to  spur  up  her  giant  husband. 
John  came  stumbling,  in  with  the  water 
and  forgot  to  wipe  liis  feet  on  the  husk 
mat.  His  wife  promptly  sent  him  back 
to  perform  this  household  duty,  and  we 
saw  him  through  the  glass  in  the  door, 
scrubbing  his  boots  as  if  he  expected  to 
dine  at  some  great  banquet.  And  when  he 
came  in,  little  Nellie  ran  with  the  boot- 
jack  and  slippers  and  stood  by  while 
John  laboriously  pulled  off  his  great  boots 
and  made  ready  for  supper.  In  all  my 
travels  and  studies  of  people  I  have  never 
been  quite  able  to  understand  how  or  why 
a  little,  energetic  woman  like  Vi  Baker 
is  able  to  make  a  great  giant  like  John 
perform  these  menial  and  often  humiliat¬ 
ing  services  without  a  word  of  protest. 
I  have  seen  a  little  tug  fasten  to  a  great 
ocean  liner  and  lead  her  into  harbor.  I 
have  seen  a  medium-sized  ant  walk  off 
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FtOOl{  The  Rural  New-Yorker 
^  ^  ^  333  West  30th  Street,  New  York 
Organized  Co-operation 
A  NEW  BOOK 
By  JOHN  J.  DILLON 
This  book  is  written  in  three 
parts. 
PART  ONE. — The  Develop¬ 
ment  of  the  Agricultural  Indus¬ 
try.  In  five  chapters. 
PART  T  W  O.  —  Fundamental 
Principles  and  Adaptable  Forms 
of  Co-operative  Organization.  In 
ten  chapters. 
PART  THREE.  —  Application 
of  Co-operation  to  Efficient  and 
Economic  Distribution  of  Farm 
Products.  In  seven  chapters. 
This  is  a  new  treatment  of  the 
co-operative  subject.  Heretofore 
writers  of  books  have  contented 
themselves  with  accounts  of  co¬ 
operative  work  where  established. 
It  has  been  mostly  propaganda 
and  exhortation.  This  was  all 
good  in  its  time.  But  we  have 
grown  beyond  it.  Farmers  are 
now  committed  to  co-operation. 
Once  shy  of  it,  they  are  at  last  a 
unit  for  it.  What  they  want  now 
is  principles  and  definite  policies 
that  have  pn  ved  successful.  This 
book  is  the  first  real  attempt  to 
supply  this  want.  Other,  and  it 
is  to  be  hoped  better,  books  will 
follow  on  this  line;  but  for  the 
present  there  is  no  other  book 
seriously  treating  the  subject  of 
organized  co-operation. 
Bound  in  Cloth  Price  $1.00 
The  Rural  New-Yorker,  333  West  30th  St.,  New  York 
