482 
American Agriculturist, June 9,1923 
“For Manners Are Not Idle—But the Fruit of Noble Minds” 
T he primitive cave-man, gnawing a 
bone in haste lest some stronger sav¬ 
age grab it away from him, was down 
to fundamentals. Food was a neces¬ 
sity and so, in those days, was brute strength 
to protect his meal. It was not until men 
trusted each other enough to eat together 
that table manners came about. 
In other words, good manners, at base, 
spring from consideration for others. There 
are endless definitions of etiquette, but a poet 
has touched the heart of the matter in a 
single line—“For manners are not idle, but 
the fruit of noble minds.” What better ex¬ 
planation of their meaning could you have, 
or what better reason for their continuance? 
Take, for instance, just one bit of table 
etiquette. The hostess is always served first. 
Off hand, you might think it more polite to 
serve the guest first of all. But 
in the old days, after the cave- n i 
man epoch, but before civiliza¬ 
tion reached its present state, 
poison all too often found its way 
into the most tempting dish. If 
mine host tasted it first, one could 
be sure of his honesty and reason¬ 
ably safe as to his servants. 
Now if that medieval touch of 
caution were the only reason for 
the order of service, the custom 
might long ago have died out with 
other bygone manners which ap¬ 
plied to an entirely different mode 
of life. But it lives, I think, for 
a very good reason—again based 
on consideration. Not every 
guest is experienced in table eti¬ 
quette ; there are always little 
variations, too, in different locali¬ 
ties. But if the hostess is served 
first, it seems to break the ice; it 
sets at rest questions as to which '■ 
spoon or foj'k to use and it makes 
the guest more at ease and therefore more 
apt to enjoy the dinner to which he or she 
has been invited. A new reason, more ap¬ 
propriate than the old, has kept alive the 
custom. You will notice, however, that when 
a hostess serves tea, for instance, or any in¬ 
formal, side-porch refreshments, she always 
passes both the liquids and the sandwiches 
or cakes first to her guests, before helping 
herself. This is more natural and also seems 
more courteous than for the hostess to pour 
out first her own cup of tea or glass of lemon¬ 
ade, and therefore has found general ac¬ 
ceptance. 
Manners First from the Heart 
So, you see, manners should come first 
from the heart. They all did originally, and 
the ones which still have a meaning are the 
ones which count. They may be—in fact 
' they are—an extra, something for which the 
cave man or the primitive savage has ab¬ 
solutely no use. But, to use the adjective of 
the line I have quoted, they are distinctly not 
“idle.” They are a product of civilization, 
the “fruit of noble minds,” and even the most 
stilted custom had its origin in thoughtful¬ 
ness for the comfort of others. 
That is why I feel sorry for people whom 
I hear speaking scornfully of good manners, 
as it is now somewhat the fashion to speak. 
I cannot help feeling that they do it in self- 
defense. They must be conscious of a lack 
within themselves, and it is always easier 
for weak human nature to assure us that 
what we don’t possess ourselves, is not really 
worth having, than it is to face the music, 
recognize our failing, and set things right. 
The genuinely considerate man or woman 
wants to do things in the way which will 
make life most comfortable for others. Man¬ 
ners may be a superfluity, but they mark 
By GABRIELLE ELLIOT 
the difference between the savage man, who 
thinks only of himself, and the civilized man, 
who has learned to think of others. 
For this reason, for instance, all quarrels 
must,be buried at a friend’s table. In the 
olden days, real bloodshed was avoided by 
the understanding that the respect of two 
enemies for their mutual host forced them to 
lay by their private quarrel until Horn under 
his roof. ^ Now-a-days, unfortunately, there 
are still disagreements, but if people who do 
not ordinarily seek each other’s company 
happen to meet at a friend’s, they must 
ignore their differences and meet with at 
least an outward appearance of 'harmony. 
This is not hypocrisy; it is simply ordinary 
consideration for the hostess who has invited 
No “Cave Man” Stuff 
A ccording to Miss Elliot, the household editor of American Agri- 
.culturist, it is no longer necessary for man to hang on to a bone 
and growl while he gnaws at it to keep the other savages away. 
“Good manners,” says Miss Elliot, “are just a natural result of 
courtesy and consideration which are a part of our modern 
civilization.” 
If you did not have the good fortune to hear this interesting talk 
oyer the radio on Wednesday evening, June 6, at 6:50 P. M., standard 
time, we are sure you will enjoy reading it on this page. 
By the way we call your special attention to the change in time 
of broadcasting American Agriculturist farm radio program. This 
was formerly given at 7:30 daylight saving time, which is 6:30 
standard time. This of course was too early for farmers at this time 
of the year. By special arrangements, with WEAF station, we have 
advanced this time from 6:30 to 6:50, or ten minutes to seven, 
standard time, every Wednesday evening. This ought to enable 
most farm families to “tune in” at just about the time they have 
finished supper.—The Editors. 
both guests and whose gathering would be 
quite spoiled if there were any evidence of 
ill-feeling. 
Once it 
venture in 
woman to 
When she 
Not Unlike To-day 
was not safe for a 
the streets alone, 
stirred abroad, a man, usually with a good 
sharp sword, escorted her, and while she 
walked close to the houses, he took the out¬ 
side, to protect her from jostling or annoy¬ 
ance. To-day, a well-bred man instinctively 
takes the outside when walking with a 
woman. Although our street conditions are 
a far cry from those quarrelsome days, there 
is_ just enough need for such protection, 
slight as it is, to make it a matter of courtesy 
and therefore of necessity. Carelessness in 
observing such a bit of routine politeness on 
the part of a man who knows it should 
be observed, shows that he might easily 
lack consideration in things far more im¬ 
portant. 
Men used to raise the visors of their hel¬ 
mets to show their faces to friends. To-day, 
a man raises his hat to a woman of his ac¬ 
quaintance. It is not a useless ceremony, 
but a mark of respect. The man who neg¬ 
lects it, or just lazily raises his hand to the 
brim of his hat, shows something besides 
mei-e carelessness in observing a traditional 
gesture. 
Consideration of Another’s Feeling’s 
In the same way, women who ignore or re- 
sent_ trivial customs of the sort may be over¬ 
looking the only reason for good manners— 
the consideration of another’s feelings. I 
have known women who, naturally enough, 
resented it if men did not rise when they 
entered the room or joined a group. Yet I 
have seen a woman who considered herself 
perfectly at home in society keep joining 
and leaving a group, forcing the men and the 
younger girls to rise each time, interrupting 
the conversation, not staying long enough to 
sit down and join in it herself, yet keeping 
the men awkwardly on their feet. This was 
a case in which they might easily have grown 
careless—in fact, they very soon did—be¬ 
cause they were made to feel foolish in ob¬ 
serving an ordinary courtesy. The dis¬ 
courteous person was the woman who for all 
her clever talk and social poise, lacked real 
consideration. 
“For manners are not idle, but the fruit of 
noble minds.” Every act of etiquette at one 
time or another had a reason for existence. 
If the need has entirely passed, this fruit 
of noble minds will in the course of time 
wither away like others and be discarded. 
If it still expresses, even in a 
slight degree, the respect and 
courtesy which human beings owe 
to the comfort and peace of 
mind of each other it will con¬ 
tinue. 
If good manners matter to any¬ 
one, they matter to everyone. It 
is not what our manners make 
of us, but what we make of our 
manners that counts. They are 
not applied from the exterior, 
they come from within, the true 
fruit, which everybody will recog¬ 
nize, of noble minds. 
If any individual problems of 
etiquette are troubling you and 
I might be able to suggest a solu¬ 
tion, please give me the privilege 
of helping you. You may write 
me in care of the American Agri¬ 
culturist, 461 Fourth Avenue, 
_ New York City. While I cannot 
——— promise to speak accurately for 
M]'s. Grundy, because I believe in 
the spirit of the law rather than the letter, 
I shall be glad to do my best for you. 
si: 
Owing to the fact that I missed part of 
Mrs. Brigden’s talk on the “Abiding Place 
of Little Children,” I wish to take advantage 
of your generous offer to send me a copy of 
the same as was announced at the close of 
her address. Your I’adio program is cer¬ 
tainly fine and I wish to thank you for the 
entertainment of many evenings which 1 
have enjoyed as one of your invisible 
audience.—C. K. :i, h. =!: 
Mrs. Brigden: Thank you for your fine 
address given from WEAF, which i enjoyed 
hearing so much. I believe I heard you speak 
when you were in Trenton, at the New Jer¬ 
sey Home Bureau Conference, but your voice 
was clearer over the radio than in the ball¬ 
room. I havo been very much interested in 
your Committee of Twenty-one on rural 
schools in New York. I would appreciate an 
extra,copy of the talk which you broadcast.— 
Mrs. J. L. H. 
Please send me copy of the talk by Dr. 
Royal S. Copeland on “Rural Health.” We 
would like to know if Dr. Copeland had any 
particular kind of bread in mind, white or 
brown bread. We enjoyed the talk very 
much. Three of the family had bread and 
milk before they went to bed. —Mrs. H. 
VanD. ,, ,, 
Will you kindly send me copy oil the talk 
given by Mr. Enos Lee. His-talkIvtis par¬ 
ticularly interesting to us as Mr. j^ee hap¬ 
pens to be our cousin.—G. J. L. 
* * * r ' . 
“Will you please send me a copy of\senatoN, 
Royal Copeland’s address on bread, aVid milk 
that I may read it to the children.” 
