American Agriculturist, September 20, 1924 
191 
From Our Friends, Deliver Us! 
How a Friendly Law Has Become Unfriendly 
R IGHT on the spur of the moment I can’t 
just put my finger on the person who said, 
“Could I write the nation’s songs, I caTe 
not who makes its laws,” or words to that 
effect. But I wish to state most emphatically 
that, that boy said a mouthful. 
Of all the songs that ever came down the pike, 
including, “Yes, We Have No Bananas,” “It’s 
Night Time In Italy,” and a few other classics, 
there' has never been one that has had the far- 
reaching and demoralizing effects on the farmer 
as some of the investigations and “nut” laws 
that have been instigated and passed by 
the so-called .friends of the farmer—Farm 
Bloc and blockheads in their various functions. 
After divesting myself of such un¬ 
patriotic, seditious and anarchistic lan¬ 
guage, I expect that some one in the 
audience will arise, point the finger of 
scorn, and say in tones of biting 
sarcasm, “There is another of your 
unassimilated, foreign born.” 
Nothing doing. Son, you’ve missed it 
by a rod. My great-great-grandfather 
came over, not on the Mayflower, in 
fact there were no flowers on the old 
tub he sailed in, which was so slow 
that the old gentleman, then in the 
prime of life, used to jump overboard 
and swim alongside the ship for pas¬ 
time, so that’s that! 
The Cause of the Tempest 
But, what has caused this tempest 
in my “Teapot Dome,” is the fact, that 
my brother and I have been holding a 
council over the remains of a once 
strong and robust grain binder. 
Whether it be the irony of fate or other¬ 
wise, in the dim outline of the gold 
letters, that once made it a thing of 
beauty, can be traced the awe-inspiring 
name “ Columbia.” 
After applying the x-ray, we diag¬ 
nosed the case as a diseased knotter 
and a germ-laden pinion. By perform¬ 
ing a minor operation of removing the 
infected parts and grafting on the new 
ones, we could make the old binder 
physically fit to last out its allotted 
span of three-score years a*nd ten. 
But alack and alas! After having the various 
agencies at our command, on a “still” hunt of 
the State and a portion of the United States, they 
can not find as much as a guard bolt for the D. M. 
Osborne machinery. 
Now, the aforesaid gentleman that pointed the 
finger of scorn, will rise again and remark in 
caustic tones, “What has all this to do with our 
various law-makers ? ” 
Well, it*has this to do with our law-makers. 
It is but a short time, as time goes, since t*he 
Osborne machinery was a*n integral pari of the 
International Harvester Co. _ The extras. were 
well distributed along with their other machinery. 
But, some well meaning but misguided official 
declared that The International Harvester Co. 
was a cruel octopus that was sucking the life 
blood from the farmer until he was a staggering 
wreck of anemia. Thereupon they ordered the 
International Harvester Co. to cast the Osborne 
Co. with its various parts into outer darkness. 
And with one raucous chuckle of glee, they cast— 
and with it, thousands upon thousands of dollars 
worth of Osborne machinery, that with extras, 
which all machinery requires, could be made to 
last for years. 
This in no way hurt the International Har¬ 
vester Co. But the Osborne, useful and otherwise, 
has passed into’obliVion. 
I wish to state right here, that I have yet to 
meet that farmer who cares three whoops in the 
“hot place,” whether he has to pay five cents or 
five dollars for an extra if he can get it when he 
wants it. 
Now, this is what it is all about!—A. J. Kelly, 
St. Lawrence County, N. Y. 
“ He is the Bulwark of the Nation ” 
T HE “Rube,” the “Hick” and the “Hay¬ 
seed” have almost passed into oblivion. 
These words, which used to be regarded by some 
city folks as typifying all farmers, are nowadays 
seldom employed, unless it may be in connection 
with the remembrance of some ancjent, moss- 
covered joke, or called forth occasionally by an 
out-of-date, small-time Vaudeville comedian. 
Time was when a presumably intelligent city 
audience would collapse with mirth when ap- 
WELL THIS IS 
S0METHIH6 K10!?E. 
But There’s Still More Tape Line 
Capper's Weekly 
peared before them the “Rube” characterization; 
awkward, gangling, rude of speech, lacking in 
brains; never complete without patched overalls 
hanging *by one shoulder strap, a torn hay hat, 
and an elongated chin whisker bobbing with the 
• rhythmic exercise of the huge “chaw of terbaccer.” 
His steel “specs” must always needs be worn 
halfway down his nose and never used except to 
peer over. But the thing' that never failed to 
bring down the house was t*he regularity with 
which he punctuated his patter, ffurned his head 
toward a knothole in the floor; emitted a squeak, 
and impersonated a dire hose. His expert aim 
naturally came (the audience supposed) from 
his long practice at the grate of the kitchen 
stove. 
Lack of contact between city dwellers and 
farmers, before the advent of modern mediums of 
education such as reliable daily and weekly world 
news, automobiles, ■ motion pictures, farm co¬ 
operatives, radio, etc., engendered an impression 
that the average farmer was a lazy, uncouth, 
no-account, good-hearted, easily led fool. They 
were partly right. His heart was big and tender, 
with few exceptions; it was easy to take ad¬ 
vantage of his faith in human nature. 
A similarly erroneous notion seems to exist 
to-day in the general city mind. The man who 
lives on the land is visualized as a hard worker 
but a sharp bargainer; a keen business man, 
prosperous, *but never content with “awful 
prices he is getting for his products”; suspicious; 
bitter; unwilling to cooperate; a selfish impedi¬ 
ment to progress. 
It is easy to understand how these impressions 
have been brought about. The American farmer 
who has successfully survived the trying agricul¬ 
tural conditions since the War is of necessity a 
keen manager; long hours of hard labor and a 
sharp account of leaks have been his only salva¬ 
tion. But if the general public were aware that 
when they are paying, for instance, 12c a quart for 
milk, the producer is receiving only about 3c; 
that the farmer is practically the only salesman 
in the world who does not have the privilege of 
setting a price on his own goods, but must ask, 
“What will you give me?”—they would hesitate 
to place the blame for high prices at his door. 
Those who have exploited the farmer, “ skinned” 
him with sharp schemes and abused his confidence, 
have made him justly skeptical and 
suspicious of strangers. You have 
only to prove to him that you are 
sincere, however, when you find that 
his assumed exterior of suspicion 
melts away in the handclasp of a real, 
heart-warming friend. 
The time will come, nay, is at hand 
when the tiller of the soil will be 
appreciated at his true worth. This 
country is full of boys grown to men, 
who possess the powers of health and 
character, the thought and expression 
of which have placed them in positions 
of highest influence. They are spread¬ 
ing the credit for what they have 
accomplished, to their beginnings back 
on the farm. They know that only 
from the land and growing things can 
boys learn the lessons which develop 
self-control, form honest, Christian 
character, inspire ideals of the love 
of God and the duty of daily, worth¬ 
while service. 
The typical American farmer is 
neither a fool nor a knave. He is the 
bulwark of the nation; the foundation 
of character; the embodiment of honest 
toil and peaceful progress. 
The boy leaving High School now, 
or soon, who loves to work with nature 
and battle against the elements of de¬ 
struction in plant and animal life; 
who can catch the vision of helping 
to feed and clothe the world, will read 
the ever-changing attitudes and 
in 
conditions of men that if he is prepared three 
or four years from now, the biggest opportunity 
for independence, influence and happiness 
will be his ON THE FARM. With agricultural 
education, modern machinery and methods 
he will stand on the shoulders of his fathers 
and realize as no generation has hitherto 
realized, that as George Washington said, “Agri¬ 
culture is the most healthful, the most useful, 
the most noble employment of man.”—L. G. 
Thomas, St. Lawrence County, N. Y. 
“Thought you said you could sail a boat!’’ 
“Well, we’re over two miles from where we 
started, aren’t we? What d’ye suppose I’ve been 
r doin’—playin’ golf ?” — Humorist (London). 
> - -- 
