19-2 
TIIE LADIES 1 FLORAL CABINET. 
Catalogues, etc., received. 
Handbook of Tennessee. Prepared by A. W. Haw¬ 
kins, Esq.. Commissioner of Agriculture, Statistics, 
Miues aud Immigration.— The object of this work is 
to suable the reader to form a just conception of the 
present condition of the State of Tennessee, aud of its 
capabilities for future development. 
Kansas. Third Bieunia! Report of the State Board 
of Agriculture, to the Legislature of the State, for the 
years 1SS1-S2.—Embracing reports of appointed offi¬ 
cers, together with statistical exhibits: also a colored 
outline map of the State, and sectional maps iu colors 
of each county, and much o:her valuable informa¬ 
tion. 
Also the monthly report of the Kansas State Board 
of Agriculture, for the month ending April 30th, 1$$3. 
Containing reports by Couuties as to tli** condition of 
all the crops throughout the State, fruit, live stock, 
etc., etc. 
NEWSPAPER WAIFS. 
A man getting into his train in great haste com¬ 
plained of having a bad stitch in his side.—** How did 
you get it?*' asked a fellow-passenger. “I rather 
think," was the reply. “ that I got it by being hemmed 
in by a crowd a little way down the street." 
" I've admired an unknown woman all winter,*' re¬ 
marked a man the other day : “she was stylish, well 
dressed, carried herself well, but I heard her speak 
to-day. and the charm vanished.” “What did she 
say?” some one asked. 44 Only two words. A com¬ 
panion in a store asked her a question, to which she 
replied in the affirmative. * You bet !' ’Twas enough. 
IT1 never waste admiration again before I hear a 
woman speak." 
An elderly resident of Newport was approached by 
an agent for a cyclopedia. 44 Iguess I won’t get one.’* 
said the elderly resident, and frankly added : 44 1 
know I never could learn to ride one of the pesky 
things." 
Nobody was more bitterly witty than Lord EUen- 
borough. A young lawyer, trembling with fear, rose 
to make his first speech, and began : ” My lord, my 
unfortunate client—my lord, my unfortunate client— 
my lord—” 4 *Go on, sir, go on," said Lord Ellen- 
borough ; “ as far as you have proceeded hitherto, 
the Court is entirely with you/’ 
"Oh. George:” a Boston girl intensely exclaimed 
while gazing at the comet: “How transcendently 
beautiful and rapturously precious it is : I should so 
love to study botany.” 
st I fla by ere, ’ wrote a St. Louis belle to a Chicago 
professor, who immediately wrote her, saying that 
he believed she also spelled that way. 
* 4 What's the man yelling at” asked a farmer of 
his boy. 44 Why.” chuckled the youngster, “he’s 
yelling at the top of his voice.” 
A young lady wants to know the significance of the 
custom of throwing old shoes after the bride. Why, 
bless your sweet innocence, sis, it means that, now : 
she i 3 married, she’ll be lucky if she gets even old 
shoes to wear.— Philadelphia Chronicle-Herald. 
Is choosing a wife always select one that will wash, j 
— Whitehall Times. 
The boys were calling names and disputing on j 
Earned street when a gentleman halted and said to , 
the eldest: “Boy. this isn’t beginning life right.” 
• 4 He sassed me fust!” “But he is the smallest. 
How it sounded for you to twit him with his father 
in the Penitentiary ! He has gone away crushed and 
degraded." “Well, I’m sorry,” replied the boy, 
after a moment's thought, “ and I guess I’ll run after 
j him and tell him my father is in the workhouse? 
! That’ll kind o' take his lonesome feelin’ away ! 
j Detroit Free Fress. 
j "De sezuu has now arrove for pullin' ole hats and 
! pillers outer the broken winders, an' I seize do occa- 
1 shun to ax you to remember: 
i " Dat a front gate off its hinges means a slip-shod 
man in'de house. 
' " Dat a red nose means a hungry flour barrel. 
44 Dat no man eber got work sittin’ on de fence an’ 
' discussin' the needs ob de kentry. 
** Dat the less pollytieks a man has de mo’ cash he 
kin pay his grocer. 
44 Dat argymeuts ou religion won't build churches 
nor pay the preachers. 
“Dat a fam'lywhich nebber borrows nor lends 
keeps nayburs the longest. 
44 Dat beauty will starve iu de parlor wliar commou 
sense will grow fat in the kitcheu. 
"Dat de world am full o' miee-koles, an* all de 
cats need do am to watch au* wait. 
1 “ Dat economy doau’ mean bayin' kaliker fur yer 
wife an' broad-e!otli fur yerself. 
4 Dat progress doau’ mean fittin’ ole doahs to new 
buildin's. 
" Dat liberty doan'gin you de right to eat anoder 
man's chickens. 
44 Dat success achieved by rascality am a fish-net 
made o’ yarn. 
" Let us now purceed to attack the reg'lar pro- 
grainmy o’ bizness. an' if dar am any mo' coughin’ 
an' spittin* ober in the fur co'ner, sartin pussons will 
witness purceedin's dat will cast a gloom ober de 
nex' fifty y'ars.” 
A country merchant visited the city and purchased 
from a dollar store a table, caster, which he took 
home with him. and after putting a tag on it marked 
$14. made a present of it to a Methodist preacher, 
whose church his family attended. The reverend 
gentleman took the packagehome, opened it aud ex¬ 
amined the contents. The next day he took the 
caster (with the tag attached) back to the grocery- 
man. and said to him: “I am too poor in this world's 
goods to afford to display so valuable a caster on 
my table, and if you have no objection, I should like 
to return it, and take $14 worth of groceries in its j 
stead.’’ The merchant could do nothing but , 
acquiesce. 
The young gentleman would no doubt pay ample ! 
attention to the wall-flowers, but fact is they can’t j 
see them without liability to the charge of being ' 
wall-eyed. 
“ Aw, I her such a dwedful cawld in me head,” re- j 
marked an Ivy street dude, as he stroked the tender ! 
tip of his nose yesterday. “ Better that than noth¬ 
ing,” was the witty but cruel response of a Peach¬ 
tree street maiden who heard him.— Atlanta Consti¬ 
tution. 
No matter how hard it is to find a rocking-chair 
during the day, a man is sure to fall over one when 
he is in search of the match-box after dark.— Ex. 
Tested and Not Found Wanting. 
The following is taken from The Whispers of Peace, 
published by Rev. S. H. Platt, A.M., at Southampton, 
N. Y. 3Ir. Platt has been using Compound Oxygen 
for some four years, and during that time has tested 
it in forty-one cases, the results of which he has vol¬ 
untarily given to the public in his paper. Mr. Platt is 
well known among the Methodists, to which denomi¬ 
nation he belongs, as a truth-loving and conscientious 
man. No question can, therefore, lie against the fair¬ 
ness of his report: 
“ Thirty years of close observation and study have 
convinced us that the science of medicine needs some 
great vitalizer adapted to the widest range of dis- 
eases, yot thoroughly practicable. Foralongilmeirt 
sought it iu electricity, hut for the masses tliat Is a- 
untamed colt-sorvicoablo If it can bo properly me.1 
In the nature of tlio case, no drug con ever moot IU 
requirements. Four years of experiment lmveled i a 
to believe that it is found in tiro Compound Oxynru 
of Drs. Starkoy & Palcn. 
44 Wo havo personally tested Compound Oxygen fc 
forty-one cases, with tho following results: 
" Class L Cases rccognized from the outset as U 
curable: One uterine, three consumption, one ills 
notes, advanced stage; all greatly relieved. 
“Class 11. Cases deemed as possibly curable: 1. 
Deranged several years, excessive nervousness; muck 
improved, 2 aud 8. Bronchial consumption ; one 
nearly cured, the other greatly helped, but tho dis¬ 
ease rendered fatal by an accidont. L Bronchitis 
one lung useless; cured. 5. Constitutional debilitv. 
lde-long; improved. 0. Consumption;cured. 7. Con¬ 
firmed and increasing hallucinations; cured. 8. Neu¬ 
ralgia of optic nerve, gastric irritation, groat nervoci 
prostation; abandoned for want of proper instruction 
while at a distance. 
“Class III. Cases deemed probably curable: L 
Bronchitis and hay fever; bronchitis cured. 2. Gas¬ 
tric fever and prostration, inability to recuperate; 
cured. 8 and 4. General debility; greatly benefited. 
5. Kidney disease an l nervous debility; r life saved.’ 
0 Persistent and harassing cough; cured. 7. Cough' 
of twelve years' standing; cured. 8. Lung and heart 
disease: lungs cured and heart much improved. r j. 
Obstinate cough; cured. 10 . Consumptive tendencies 
and cough ; cured. 11. Cough; cured. 12. NervcKg 
debility: cured. 13. Sciatic neuralgia, nervous pros¬ 
tration i life despaired of*; cured. 14. Consumptive 
decline; ‘saved.’ 15. Bronchial and gastric irritative 
and extreme nervous prostration (life despaired of- 
could on >y take oxygen three seconds); cured. H 
Nervous debility and uterine troubles; greatly re¬ 
lieved. 17 - 20 . Over-work; all helped immediately, 
; though continuing the work. 21. Uterine difficulties, 
extreme nervousness and hallucinations; appetite Im¬ 
proved immediately, but treatment unwisely aban¬ 
doned lest it should increase stoutness. 22—24. Treat- 
meat not properly used 25. Nervous debility from 
overstudy; helped. 20. Debility, difficulty of breath¬ 
ing : strong hereditary consumptive tendencies; de¬ 
bility partly overcome, difficulty of breathing cured 
(still under treatment*. 27. Liver complaint of many 
years, and nervous derangement; liver decidedly bet 
ter. 28. Lung disease and dyspepsia; improved, box 
frequent absence from home interferes with the treat¬ 
ment. 
44 It should be observed— 
“ 1st. .1 lost of these were cases in which physicians : 
and other remedies had failed. 
"2d. Many of them were chronic. 
“ 3d. In thirty-eight of the forty-one cares only or* 
Treatment (two months) was used, and In no case 
more than two. 
“ 4th. Many of the cases reported relieved or helped 
would undoubtedly have been cured by further treat¬ 
ment, but finanefal reasons prevented. A number 
are still under treatment. 
“Knowing these facts,nee should deem ourselves 
false to the interest of our renders, and traitors to 
humanity, if ice failed to make known such a boon 
for the suffering .” 
To those who wish to inform themselves in regard 
to this new Treatment, Drs. Starkey & Palen, 1,1(0 
Girard St., Philadelphia, will send, free of cost, their 
Treatise on Compound Oxygen ” and their pamph¬ 
let, containing over fifty “ Unsolicited Testimonials 
also, “Health and Life," a Quarterly Record of Cases 
and Cures under the Compound Oxygen Treatment, 
in which will be found, as reported by patients them¬ 
selves, and open for'verification, more remarkable 
results in a single period of three months than aU 
the medical journals in the United States can show 
in a year ! 
A Little Awkward— Parson Wliangdoodle Baxter 
noticed at the last prayer meeting in the Austin Blue 
Light Tabernacle, that Gabo Snodgrass, who was 
working his lips like tho rollers of a patent clothes 
wringer as lie read his Bible, actually-had the book 
upside down. “Why, Gabe, you am reading dc 
sacred book upside down. How am dat possible ?“ 
4 Dat am so for a fac\ parson. You pee, parson, dis 
lieali Bible b’longs to my wife, and I don’t kuow how¬ 
to handle It yot. If I joss had my own Bible lieah 
wid me, dat I had done got the hang on, I nebber 
would hab made dat mistake.”— Texa% Siftings. 
