352 
THE LADIES' FLORAL CABINET 
NEWSPAPER WAIFS. 
It does not- matter how well the garvleuor tries to 
do—he is always slipping.— Boston Star. 
Vain as the peacock is, the weathercock is even 
more vane—X Y. Times. 
A Cincinnati woman testified that her husband got 
so full of liquor that he had to gasp for breath. A 
demoralizing case of tight pants. — Philadelphia 
Herald. 
No. the expression, ‘'drinks like a fish,’’ does not 
arise from the fact that the finny tribe is often found 
at the harbor bar .—Boston Star. 
Since its public exposure, it is called the betrayed 
dollar.— Philadelphia Bulletin. 
“I like company well enough,'* said Mrs. Plane- 
tung; “but I'm not going to put myself out too much. 
I believe in looking after one's own comfort first.'' 
“That is to say." remarked Fogg, “that you follow 
the custom of the shop sign and put your company 
last.”— Boston Transcript. 
Doing a Smart Thing. —A few days ago an eminent 
citizen of Detroit, or at least one eminent enough to 
own a $7 umbrella, left the article in a store on Gra¬ 
tiot Stteet. and some one gobbled it. Eminent citizen 
was thoroughly indignant, and he went to a detective 
to see what could be done. As there was no clue to 
pick up and follow to success, the detective could do 
nothing. All of a sudden a bright thought occurred 
to the loser, and next day an advertisement appeared 
as follows: 
“ The man who took that silk umbrella from a store 
on Gratiot Street last Thursday will save himself 
trouble by returning it, as he is known.” 
Eminent citizen was chuckling over his smartness, 
when a man dressed like a laborer and having an 
umbrella carefully tied up in paper, entered the office 
and said: 
44 So you know me, eh F* 
44 Yes, sir,” was the prompt reply. 
44 Somebody must have seen me take it and told 
you 5” 
44 Yes, that was the way.” 
44 What would you have done if I hadn't sho^\n 
up ?” 
44 Secured a warrant and made it hot for you.” 
44 Well. give me a receipt and I'll leave it, and never 
try to get away with another man's umbrella.” 
A receipt was written and passed over, and the 
man seemed so contrite that he was handed a half 
dollar besides. It was full half a day before the 
parcel was unwrapped for a look at the umbrella, and 
then eminent citizen kicked up a row to alarm the 
whole building. The umbrella was old, faded, rib- 
broken and worthless, and it was evidently a put-up 
job to take the smartness out of a man who thought 
he had hit it.— F ree Press. 
NOT A DRUG. 
The startling exposures which have been made in 
regard to a general system of drug-adulterations, 
practiced not only by the compounders of patent 
medicines, but by the prescription druggists, have, 
as might be supposed, caused widespread alarm and 
anxiety among a very large class of persons who are 
suffering from acute or chronic ailments. 
The flower Safety is often plucked from the nettle ; 
Danger, and it may be so in this case. Crude drugs, j 
whether pure or adulterated, when taken into the ■ 
human body, work more or less disorder in its deli, 
Cftte organisms. The general abandonment of these j 
hurtful substances, whether from a rational convic- j 
tion of their injurious effects or in fear of getting ! 
poisoned through wicked adulterations, will be a i 
great gain for the public. 
44 But what are we to do?” comes from the sick 
•atJi suffering on all sides, especially from those af¬ 
flicted with chronic diseases which are steadily grow¬ 
ing worse, ‘‘The let-alone system will not cure us. 
We are sick, and without help must, continue to grow 
worse, and in the end die.'’ 
The answer to this half-despairing question, if it 
were indeed the true oue, would bo hailed with glad- 
! ness by thousands and tens of thousands who have 
lost faith in drugs and well nigh in physicians. A 
new and better treatment of disease—a true and 
rational treatment- must be one that does not assault, 
shock, or weaken the depressed, over-sensitive, and 
exhausted vital organs, but help and encourage them 
* to renewed action. It must infuse life into the ner¬ 
vous centres, restore to all the wonderful aud deli- 
: cate machinery, which has beeu obstructed by dis- 
; ease, a steadier aud more orderly movement, and so, 
i slowly but surely, sot the patient ou the road to 
health. 
44 Is there such a treatment 5 ” hundreds who read 
this will eagerly inquire. We answer that there is, as 
thousands who have used it can aud do testify in the 
most positive manner. A shadow of doubt comes 
over your face. You know how wickedly the sick are 
deceived aud plundered by those who make gaiu of 
their sufferings. If you can fairly examine and weigh 
evidence carefully, the largest opportunity to decide 
for yourself as to the value of this Treatment will be 
afforded. 
Under this new Treatment, which is by the inhala. 
1 tion of Compound Oxygen, dispensed by Drs. Starkey 
& Palen. 1109 and 1111 Girard Street, Philadelphia, 
who are the only manufacturers of the genuine arti¬ 
cle, there is no weakening of the tone of the stomach I 
by drugs, and no violent assaults upon any nerve or i 
fibre in the body .but a gently and subtly penetrating ! 
influence, reaching to the very centre of all the life- 
forces and restoring them to healthier action. The 
natural result is that when a patient recovers he is in 
a far better condition to resist the causes which pro¬ 
duce disease than the patient who has had the Ufe- 
! forces weakened through drug medication. 
As a restorer of vital force. it can be largely shown 
from the results obtained during the past twelve 
years that it is the most efficient agent yet discovered 
by the medical profession. Its use by over-worked 
business and professional men. and by all who suffer 
from nervous exhaustion and low vitality, would 
save many hundreds of lives every year . and give to 
thousands more the ability to work without the 
iceariness. exhaustion, and peril which now attend 
their labors. 
To those who have never used the Compound Oxy¬ 
gen Treatment, and who are debating the question 
as to whether they shall give it a trial or not, it is 
offered as an entirely safe remedy. If no benefit 
should be received (a case of rare occurrence), no 
harm will be done. There will be no shock to the 
system: no weakening of the vital forces: no legacy 
of evil, as when crude drugs are taken. It does not 
cure one disease by substituting another, which often 
is less curable than the one whose action it suspends. 
A 44 Treatise on Compound Oxygen ," containing a 
history of the discovery of and mode of action of 
this remarkable curative agent, and a large record 
of surprising cures in Consumption, Catarrh, Neu¬ 
ralgia, Bronchitis, Asthma, etc., and a wide range of 
chronic diseases, will be sent free by Drs. Starkey & 
Palen to any one who will write for it. 
“ See here,” said the star to the manager 44 If you 
are going to have bouquets handed to me every night, 
why don’t you get decent ones 5 Look at this, to¬ 
night’s; it’s all wilted. Why can’t I always have as 
good a bouquet as I had last night ?” “As good a 
bouquet as you had last night ?” shrieked the mana¬ 
ger, 44 Why, holy sunflower; it's the same one !” 
Flower of the sea—The shad roes. 
“ Whar yer gwine wid dat man 5” asked a negro of 
bis daughter. “He ain’t fltten ter ’comp’ny yer.” 
“ Gwine ter de show,” the girl replied. 44 Dat’s all 
right. Thought yer was gwine ter church. A ’orann 
ken go wid mos’ any man ter a show, but she's got 
ter be mighty perticiar who goes ter church wid 
her.”— Arkansaw Traveler. 
When a man turns over a new leaf he is too fre¬ 
quently near the conclusion of the book of life. 
WHAT CAUSES DISEASE? 
The most important system of nerves iu the body 
governs the processes of digestion, nutrition and 
growth. The power possessed by this system is 
termed vital force. Disease cannot outer into the 
body if this force be maintained. Physicians, recog¬ 
nizing this fact, do not readily take disease ; others, 
through ignorance, allow this force to run down and 
do take diseases. The symptoms indicating a lack of 
this force are goneral debility, lack of ambition, 
lack of energy, physical prostration, lassitude, 
“tired-all-the-time,” 44 all-goneuess,” etc., accom¬ 
panied or not by a loss of appotite. 
When those symptoms appear they are sooner or 
later followed by disease of some kind if not relieved. 
The Red field Tonic Pow ers are the prescription of a 
well-known Brooklyn, N. Y., physician, and have 
been used in his practice for years for the above, 
mentioned symptoms with best results. A sample 
package will be sent first three applicants from any 
one place, free, on receipt of two-cont stamp. Ad¬ 
dress, REDF1ELD TONIC PO>YDERS CO., 149 
Tompkins Avenue, Brooklyn, N. Y. 
Abraham and Joshua had been invited to a splendid 
dinner. 
It was impossible for Joshua not to make capital 
out of such an opportunity; accordingly he managed 
to slip a silver spoon into his boot. 
Abraham was green with envy at Joshua’s success, 
for he had not even manipulated a saltspoon. 
But an idea struck him. 
“My fronts,” he cried, “I vill show you some 
dricks.” 
Taking up a spoon, he said, “You see dees spoon ? 
Veil, it ees gone,” he cried, passing it up his sleeve, 
44 You will find it iu Joshua's bood.” 
It was found. 
Mamma had dressed Charley (five years old) to go 
to walk, and then took Susie (three years old) in hand. 
! Mamma was then “tired,” and so was Susie; mamma, 
somewhat irritated, said: “ Do stand still, for gra¬ 
cious’ sake !” to which Susie gravely responded, 
“Amen .”—Boston Transcript. 
WEST SHORE ROUTE. 
New York, West Shore &. Buffalo R’y 
OPEN TO SYRACUSE. 
WITH MAGNIFICENT PULLMAN 
Buffet Parlor Cars. 
The New* York, West Shore and Buffalo Railway 
is in successful operation between 
NEW YORK, HAVERSTRAW, CRANSTON’S, 
WEST POINT, CORNWALL, NEWBURG, 
KINGSTON, CATSKILL MOUNTAINS, 
ALBANY, SARATOGA, LAKE GEORGE, 
UTICA, SYRACUSE, 
ADIRONDACKS, AND MONTREAL 
VIA 
West Sliore of Hudson River. 
In JERSEY CITY, Pennsylvania Railroad Station. 
In BROOKLYN, No 4 Court Street, and Brooklyn 
Annex Office, foot of Fulton Street. 
In New York City, 
No. 910 BROADWAY, near Madison Square. 
No. 737 SIXTH AVENUE, corner 43d Street. 
No. 1,333 BROADWAY, near 33d Street. 
No. 108 EAST 130th STREET, HARLEM. 
No. 419 BROADWAY, corner Canal Street. 
No. 103 BROADWAY, American Exchange, Tour- 
IS No .*307 BROADWAY, Leve & Alden, Tourist Office. 
No. 301 BROADWAY, Thos. Cook & Son, Tourist 
^ PENN. R. R. STATION, foot of DESBROSSES ST. 
PENN. R. R. STATION, foot of CORTLANDT ST. 
For information not obtainable at stations, address 
HENRY MONETT, 
General Passenger Agent, No. 31 State St., N. Y. 
