THE LADIES’ FLORAL CABINET AND PICTORIAL HOME COMPANION. 
7 
■ t®* I®® 
COURTSHIP. MARRIAGE, SOCIETY AND 
HOME AMUSEMENTS. 
A WOKAirS ANSWER TO A KAN’S QUESTION. 
Do you know yon have asked for the costliest thing 
Ever made by the hand above ? 
A woman’s heart and a woman's life— 
And a woman's wonderful love ? 
Do you know you have asked for this.prtcclcss thing 
As a child might ask for a toy ? 
Demanding what others have died to win, 
With the reckless dash of a boy ? 
, Ton have written my duty out— 
Miui-iikc hare you questioned mo. 
Now stand at the bar of my woman’s soul, 
Until I question thee I 
Yon may require your mutton shall always bo hot, 
Your socks and your shirts be whole: 
1 require your heart to bo true as God’s stai-s, 
And pure ns lIc.avon your soul. 
You require a cook for your mutton and boof, 
I require a far greater thing j 
A scmnstro&s you’re wanting for socks and for shirts, 
I look for a man and a king. . 
A king for the beautiful realm called home, 
And a man that the maker, God,' 
Shall look upon ns he did on the llrst, 
■And say, “ It is very good.” 
I am fair and young, but the rose will fade 
From my soft young check, one day— 
Will you love me then ’mid the falling leaves, 
A.S you did 'mong the bloom of May ? ' 
Is your heart an ocean so strong and deep 
I mivy launch my all on its tide ? 
A loving woman finds heaven or hell. 
On the day she is made a bride. 
I require all things that arc grand and true. 
All things that a man should be ; 
If you give this all, I would stake my life 
To be all you deemed of me. 
If you cannot be this—a laundress and cook 
You can hire, and a little to pay ; 
But a woman’s heart and a woman’s life 
Arc not won that way. 
notice whether her complexion is the same in the 
morning os in the evening, or whether the wash 
and towel have robbed her of evening bloom. 
Observe her looks some limo when you surpri.se 
her, and she is not expecting you. Overhear 
her conversation with lier mother; if she is ill- 
natured and snappish, she will be so to you. 
Depend upon it, she is not the one for you. 
But if you find her up, aud dressed neatly, in 
the morning, with the same countenance, the 
same smile, the same neatly combed hair, the 
same ready aud pleasant answer to her mother 
which characterized her deportment the previous 
evening when you were in-csout; and, particu¬ 
larly, if she is ready to lend a hand to get the 
breakfast ready in' good season, she is a stunner, 
John, and the sooner you got her to yourself the 
better.” 
-WHAT WOMEN LIKE IN MEN. 
Women, though they may not always indi¬ 
cate them in the choice of their husbands, h.ave 
ver^ decided preferences among men. It might 
basupposed that more miisculine beauty of form 
ar4 feature would'be sure' of commanding a 
woman’s attention and securing her afiection; 
but all experience disproves this. Some of the 
most successful suitors of the female sex have 
been noted for their ugliness. The coarse, dis¬ 
torted face of the fierce Mii-iibeau, the leering 
eye and slavering mouth of the noted Wilkes, 
and the dwarfed, skulking figure of the intrigu¬ 
ing Burr, were no obstacles to their wooing and 
winning the most beautiful women. Wilkes 
boasted, while he confessed himself the ugliest 
man in England, that he only required half 
hour’s talk with a woman to get the better of 
the handsomest fellow in the company. It was 
certainly not the beauty of face or figure which 
was the attraction that drew women to the em¬ 
brace of these ugly but noted rmcn. What 
pleases woman in man above all things is his 
devotion to her. The failure of the handsome 
fellow to gain, her afiection is thus easily ac- 
• counted for. He is sure to' be a coxcomb, and 
so absorbed in the contemplation of his own 
personal attractions as to give little heed to those 
of the other sex. The ugly gallant is not di¬ 
verted by any self-admiration from his devoirs 
to female beauty, and thus gives up his whole 
soul to its worship; and, whatever may bo his 
. shortcomings in other respects, he is forgiven, 
and receives the full reward of the faithful. 
Women, too, are apt to take fondly to tho.se 
men who are notable. They are ambitious; and 
by associating themselves with those who are 
distinguished, they seem to share in their brill- 
^iancy of reputation. 'Leaders of the people, such 
as Mirabeau and Wilkes, are surrounded by just 
that kind of eclat which dazzles the eye of 
woman and lures her on." , 
The secret of successful courtship is constant 
devotion rather than brilliancy or strjitegy. 
AN OLD LADY’S AD'nCE ON 6ETTIN0 HASSIED. 
“ Now, John, listen to me, for I am older than 
you, and have seen much of women in their 
homes. Never do you marry a young woman, 
John, before you have contrived to happen at the 
house where she lives at least four or five times 
before breitkfast. You should know how late 
shb lies in bed in the morning. You should take 
INFLUENCE OE FEMALE SOCIETY. 
It is better for you, says Thackeray, to pass 
an evening once or twice in a lady’s drawing¬ 
room, oven though the conversation is slow, 
and you know the girl’s song by heart, than in 
a club, tavern, or the pit of a theatre. All 
amusements of youth to which virtuous women 
are not admitted, rely on it, are deleterious in 
their nature. All men who .avoid female society 
have dull preceptions, and arc stupid, or liavo 
gross tastes, and revolt against wh.at is pure. 
Your club swaggerex’s, who arc sucking the butts 
of billiard cues all night, call fem.ale society in¬ 
sipid. Poetr}’ is insipid to .t^ yokel; beauty has 
no ch.arms for a blind man; music does not 
please a poor boast who does not know one tune 
from another; I protest I can sit for a whole niglit 
talking to a well-regulated, kindly woman about 
her girl coming out, or her boy at Eton, and 
liking the evening’s entertainment. One of 
the gi-eat benefits a man m.ay derive from a 
woman’s society is, th.at he is bound to be 
respectful to them. The habit is of great good 
to your moral m.an, depend upon it. Our educa¬ 
tion makes us the most eminently selfish men 
in the world. We fight for ourselves, we push 
for ourselves, we yawn for, ourselves, we light 
our pipes, and s.ay we won’t go out; we prefer 
ourselves and om- ease; and the greatest good 
that comes to a man from a woman’s society is, 
that he has to think of somebody besides him¬ 
self—somebody to whom he is bound to be con¬ 
stantly attentive and'rcspectful. 
skier the company of her husband the best eom- 
pany she can have. The young wife must loam 
cooking carefully, if she docs not already have a 
good knowledge of it. There are many excellent 
cookery books, but she must not follow them im¬ 
plicitly. Jly own plan, for some time after I 
was married, was to lake some dish and prepare 
it once according to the receipt given, and note 
carefully what ingredients coidd be dispensed 
with. 'The second time I generally managed it 
at half tlio expense. A useful plan is to keep a 
blank book in the kitchen table drawer, and 
whenever a deviation from theortliodox cookery 
book is made, to jot it down. Do not wait till 
you have washed your hands; let the book be 
finger-marked rather than lose an idea. You 
will thus learn more of houseliold economy than 
if you trust to memory alone, and when youi- 
dauglitcrs grow up, wliat a fund of practical in¬ 
formation it will be for them. To a great extent 
the celibacy of our young men is owing to the 
w.ay in which girls .ai’c brought up. Through 
mistaken kindne.ss motliei’s often do themselves 
what they ought to make their daughters do. 
Lot them teach them housckeoijing, on a fixed 
methodical plan, and they will then learn their 
history, French and music .all the better. It is 
natural and right that a mother should wish to 
sec her daughters well educated, and even high!}' 
accomplished, and it is a mistake tliat good and 
careful education would unfit a girl for the 
homely duties of cooking, dusting, etc. On the 
contrary, those duties would he better performed, 
and. if mothers would, at the same lime that they 
seek talented instructors for their daughters, im¬ 
part to them some of their own culinaiy talent, 
there would be more good wives and more 
marriages. Little girls should be taught, as 
early as possible, to perform simple household 
duties ne.atly, .and as they grow older let them 
become gr.adually acquainted with the theory of 
housekeeping in such a m.anner that when they 
are married they will be able to .adapt them¬ 
selves to their circumstances, and he useful as 
well as pleasing companions to their husbands. 
HOW TO LOVE TRULY. 
Mrs. Stowe, in her letter to young women on 
connubial love, says: “ M.any women suppose 
that they love their husbands, when unfortu¬ 
nately they have not the beaming of an idea 
what love is. Let me e.xphain to you, my dear 
young lady. Loving to be .admired by a n 
loving to be caressed by him, loving to be 
praised by him, is not loving him. All these 
may be when a wom.an h.as no power of love. 
They may all be simply because she loves her¬ 
self and loves to bo flattered, praised, caressed 
coaxed, as a cat likes to be coaxed and stroked, 
and fed with cream, and have a warm corner. 
But all this is not love. It may exist, to be sure, 
where there is no love. Love, my dear ladies, 
is self-sacrifice; it is life out of self and in 
another. Its very essence is the prefening of 
the comfort, the ca.se, the wishes of another to 
one’s own for the love we bear them. Love is 
giving,.not receiving. Love is not a sheet of 
blotting paper or a sponge, sucking in every¬ 
thing to itself. Love’s motto has been dropped in 
this world as a gem of grc.at price by the loveli¬ 
est, the fairest, the purest, the strongest of lov¬ 
ers that ever tread this mortal earth, of whom it 
is recorded that He said; ‘ It is more blessed to 
give than to receive.’ No; in love there are 
ten receivers to one giver.” 
STREET ETIQUETTE-WALKING WITH LADIES. 
Only vilhagers or persons with rmoil ide.as any 
longer contend that ladies should .alwa 3 ’S be 
given the inside of the pavement in passing. The 
rule adopted in cities is to turn to the right, 
Whelher the riglit le.ads to the wall or to the 
gutter, and ah observance of this common-sense 
rule woidd obviate much unpleasant “scroug- 
ing ” by over-g.all.ant gentlemen who persistently 
crowd for the outside of the walk. Another 
common custom, and required bj’ fashionable 
etiquette, and one which is nearly as inexidic.a- 
ble and absurd, is the practice of a whole strini 
of men filing out of a church pew, making them¬ 
selves as ridiculous as an “awkward squad” 
pr.acticing at “ catching stop ” in order to giv 
wom.an tlie 'wrong end of the pew, is that of a 
man, when on a promenade or walk with a lady, 
to keep himself on the outside of the pavement, 
4 . little exercise of judgment will convince an}’ 
person of the utter uselessness of this bobbing 
back and forth .at every corner. 
The common rule is this; If a man and wo¬ 
man are walking, she should alwaj’s be at his 
right arm, whether it be toward the inside or 
outside of the walk, then the woman will not be 
shoved against the passers. 
YOUNG LADIES SHOULD UNDERSTAND HOUSE¬ 
KEEPING THOROUGHLY. 
A lady writer in a London joum.al, in discuss¬ 
ing the subject of marriage and celibacy, laid the 
cause of so many unsatisfactory marriages to the 
disinclination of women to give up society and 
devote themselves to housekeeping and efibrts to 
make a happy home. There is a world of truth 
in her suggestions. 
“ When a girl marries, she ought, to a certain 
extent, to give up, her acquaintancesj and con- 
“ oil, tell me wlicre Is fancy bred ?” 
She ashed j and, gcuiiig bolder, 
She placed lierlluie darling bead 
And chignon on my eboiilder. 
And I. wIili no more poetry In 
My soul llinn In a Quaker’s, 
Rcjillcd, with Idiotic grin, 
“ You’ll find it at the baker's.” 
What is your consolation in life and 
death?” asked a Sunday school teacher of a 
young lady in the Bible class, who blushed and 
said: “I’d rather be excused from speaking his • 
name.” 
When is a butterfly like a kiss? When it 
alights on tulips (two lips). 
Question (to be asked by the lady you adore). 
What has been the brightest idea of the whole 
season ? Answer (to be told to her in a confi¬ 
dential whisper). Your eye-dear. 
’■ That seat is engaged,” said a pretty, young maid. 
As I entered a carriage one day. 
To H'hom "A youug gentleman,” poutlpg she said. 
” 'Then, where is his baggage, I pray '/ ” 
Her ruby lips opened iike rose buds in spring, 
Her luce in deep biushes was dyed, 
As muttering crossly ; ’• You liateful old thing I” 
’• Why I am iiis baggage,” she cried. 
If small girls are waifs, are large ones waif- 
ers? “Certainly,” says a sweet sixteen; at 
least the boys have the habit of applying them 
to their lips in sealing their vows.” 
A New York gentleman, by way of comfort¬ 
ing his daughter, whose man-iage he opposed, 
pre.sented her with .§300 on leaving her at a 
Maine watering place. She sent the money to 
her lover, who came on immediately and mar¬ 
ried her. 
A j'oung Pliiladclphian, threatened with a 
breach of promise suit, says : “Sue away; con¬ 
tracts made on Sunday ain’t legal.” 
A young man says that there may have been 
such a thing as real true love in olden times, but 
that now the notion is entirely obsolete; and it 
you ask a young lady now-a-days to share your 
lot, she irnmediatc’.y wants to''a-now'uow large 
that “lot” is. 
A worthy woman in Rochester, New York, 
who thought her daughter rather too young to 
receive calls from a very attentive j'oung gentle¬ 
man, the other evening gave them a very broad 
hint to that effect, first, by c.alling the girl out of 
the room and sending her to bed; and second, 
bj' taking into the room a huge slice of bread 
and butter, with molasses attachment, .and say¬ 
ing to the j’outh in her kindest manner: “ There, 
bubby, take this and go home; it’s a long way, 
and your mother will be anxious.” 
Maidens must be mild aud meek. 
Swift to hear aud slow to spc.ak. 
BASHFUL MEN. 
A really bashful m.an is generally a man of 
fine feeling and a nice sense of honor. His 
bashfulness is generally the result of certain fine 
touches of character, which time will mellow .and 
bring out, his perceptions as dclictite as the 
fainte.st tint of the unfolded rose; nor .are his 
thoughts the less refined .and be.autiful that they 
do not flow with the impetuosity of the shallow 
streamlet. No woman need ever fear the man 
who is bashful in her presence, for his reverence 
for her is so great that his very glance is respect¬ 
ful worship. 
“A flowery crown will I compose ; 
I’ll weave the crocus, we.ave the rose— 
I’ll weave narcisus nowloy wet. 
The liyacintli and violet; 
The niyrtle shall supply me green. 
And lilies laugh in light between, 
That the rich tendrils of my beiiutys’ hair. 
May burst into their crowning flower and light the 
painted air.” 
A QUEER COLLECTION. 
A devout newspaper coirespondent once at¬ 
tended a church in central New York on a 
'Wednesday evening, saw the contribution box 
passed, and when most of the congregation had 
retired heard the Parson and a certain John 
AViley quarreling about the possession and 
amount of monej' deposited by the good people. 
Seeing that it would take some time to settle 
their little disagreement, they adjourned to a 
neighboring tavern to count the money. First 
the Parson counted it, contriving to slip a fifty 
cent note up his sleeve during the process, and 
reported 86.42. Then Mr. lYiley, unsatisfied 
with the teller’s report, took the matter in hand, 
but could find only 86.17. Then the deacon 
went for it, but his hands were so sticky that he 
could find but 85.17. “Truly this is strange,” 
said the Parson; “let me count it again; we 
ought to make it agree;” but when he looked at 
it he could discern but 84.90, which 'Wiley found 
to be too much, for on recounting it he could 
find but 84.82. And so the precious trio con¬ 
tinued to count, till the Parson said: “This 
money appears to be enchanted; it takes unto 
itself the wings of a dove and flieth away;” and 
the deacon proposed that as there now seemed 
to be but 83 left, they should each take fifty 
cents as a remuneration for their arduous ser¬ 
vices. They agreed, and the deacon signed a 
receipt for 81.50. 
