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THE NATIONAL'NURSERYMAN 
Irving—I have not had the pleasure of meeting either of 
the gentlemen of whom you speak, nor do I remember to ever 
have heard of them. But say Allen, getting back to the 
question of taking that trip to Portland. I certainly 
would enjoy it, and I think it would be a fine thing to cross 
our Continent. You know, I really think we Easterners don’t 
know enough about the West, their broad prairies, the 
granaries of the world, their fertile valleys, their mines, their 
mountains, rivers, lakes, cities, their commerce and the 
people. This Portland trip would give the Eastern Nur¬ 
serymen a broader view of their own country and every 
mother’s son of us ought to take it; but, confound it, the 
expense is what I stall at! 
Allen—Oh it won’t be so much and the expense will be 
swallowed up in the continual round of pleasure that will be 
ours. Then listen, Irving, it has recently been “tipped off to 
me’’ that there is a fine old nurseryman out in that Western 
Country, they call Dady S. Lake, you may have heard of 
him, lives in Iowa, I think. Fine man, wears a fine suit of 
patriarchal whiskers, philosophical old cuss, made lots of 
money too, and for some reason, unknown to nurserymen, 
has not been separated from it. Well he has been reading his 
Bible and is wise to the fact that it is far easier for a camel to 
pass through the eye of a cambric needle than for a rich man 
to enter the Kingdom of—Nurserymen; so he has hit upon a 
plan of organizing a sort of Andy C. and John D. “Founda¬ 
tion’’ or Young Woman’s Christian Association, to dispose of 
the major part of his fortune while he is still with us in the 
flesh. Now he has announced, in a quiet way, (very quiet) 
that he will try this plan out, by slipping sufficient funds to • 
any Eastern Nurseryman, to make the Portland trip in 
luxury who feels he cannot afford it himself. I understand 
he is a very unostentatious gentleman and retiring in disposi- 
tionjbut I shouldn’t wonder if the matter was brought to his 
attention, by some such man as Pitkin or Dayton, if he 
wouldn’t put up for the whole New York and Ohio Delega¬ 
tions, “Special’’ and all. 
Irving—Good idea, let’s appoint a committee to memo¬ 
rialize him at once, so he will have ample time in which to give 
so grave and important a matter mature and deliberate con¬ 
sideration, and I think it would be well to put Wm. P. Stark 
on the committee, for you know he is “past grand” on 
membrializing stately bodies on important subjects. 
Allen—By George! if he should “fall to it” and “come 
across,” wouldn’t we make those fellows out there look like a 
ten cent piece with a hole in it—Wow! 
Irving—Well Allen, it begins to look like we would all go. 
I wonder what the “Wild and Woolies” can put up for us in 
way of high class entertainment? 
Allen—Am informed there will likely be some good stunts 
pulled off. Pilkington, the Great American Salmon Eater, 
will perform a few aquatic feats, such as poising with one foot 
upon the dorsal fin of a Columbia River salmon and ride 
the “Bird” across the Willamette River. 
C. F. Lansing, the Quaker Nurseryman, whose face is a 
benediction to every one who looks upon it, will be on the 
Bridge with Mike Donald at the wheel, for a grand excursion 
up the Columbia, and many other good things, which time 
forbids our dwelling on at this meeting. 
But probably one of the Best entertainments will be a 
lecture by Dr. Kruckeberg, of Los Angeles, a noted scientific 
writer and most renowned all around Weevetologist in the 
known world. This lecture is to be illustrated by stereopti- 
con views, showing the alfalfa societies of California and 
Idaho, commanded by Governors Johnson of California and 
Haines of Idaho, running down the alfalfa weevil, and other 
bands of these noble Cohorts standing guard at all the com¬ 
mercial gateways to these states, their steel dripping with 
blood, ready to ruthlessly slay any weevil headed this way. 
You know these two states and Arizona have gone “bug 
house” on the alfalfa weevil and have raised a very drastic 
quarantine against this little insect and I am wondering how 
you and Lake and Willis can go with us down through 
California and back across Arizona. 
Irving (in great dismay)—How is that ? We have nothing 
to do with alfalfa weevil. 
Allen (looking mighty tearful like)—Yes, I know, but that 
does not enter into the question with these people, and I 
am told that the quarantine edict requires the Horticultural 
Commissioners of these states to meet all incoming trains at 
the border lines and fumigate every man’s whiskers who has 
passed through Utah, Idaho or Wyoming. 
Irving—What with? 
Allen—Cyanide of Potassium, 98% pure. 
Irving—But man, that would be very dangerous, as the 
fimies are eertain death to anything breathing them and how 
in the “Sam Hill” would they go about fumigating that 
luxuriant suit of whiskers of A. Willis, for instance without 
killing him? 
Allen—Yes, very true, that would be a very dangerous 
operation, but those fellows in California and Idaho argue 
that the life of a bewhiskered nurseryman is not to be com¬ 
pared, in value, to that of a straw or alfalfa hay—it is the 
weevil, that perchance may have lodged therein, that they 
are after. 
Irving—Well I am game, and will take a chance, and I am 
going to that Portland Convention, whiskers or no 
whiskers. 
Allen—Here too, Irving, and I am going to boost for it. 
Policeman—Gentlemen, you will have to move on, you 
are interrupting traffic. 
THE PORTLAND CONVENTION 
Much speculation is rife as to how many members of the 
American Association will meet their brethren on the Pacific 
Coast in convention next June. To those who hesitate on 
account of the distance we commend this extract from the 
official organ of the Association: 
From “If such nurserymen”—to “time and money.” 
From “The trip to the great,” to “business of the future.” 
There is little need for us to expatiate on the beauties of 
Nature en route, but we can give just a hint of one feature 
that will both interest and instruct those who are fortunate 
enough to participate, viz. the day “stop-over” at Toppenish, 
Washington. The train will arrive early in the morning, the 
Nurserymen’s “Special Car” will be side-tracked and the 
nurserymen become the guests of the Washington Nursery 
Co. In an auto trip of about forty miles, the party will view 
