Dialogue relative to School Discipline. 
l€n.] 
007 
VS wlietbpr his intention was to smile at 
Mr. /ihernethy, or really to applaud his 
ingenuity. After reading his letter two 
or three rimes over, all we can under¬ 
stand is, that the “ constitutional origin 
of local diseases’' is always to be traced 
in the liver; and that to some “derange¬ 
ment in the hej)aiic functions,” we are 
always to impute hypochondriasis and 
melancholia. What is still more happy, 
we are informed, that small doses f)f 
pilula hydrargyri, is the cure for all. 
Happy discovery! Does F. recollect 
how exactly he has placed Mr. Aher- 
nethy in the character of those adver¬ 
tisers who offer remedies for vapours, 
indigestion, palpitations of the heart, and 
all the other complaints which a valetu¬ 
dinarian can at any time fancy, whilst he 
is reading a description of them. 
But it may be answered, that these 
gentlemen make a secret of their reme¬ 
dies; whilst Mr. A. teHs us at once, 
what his is. True : but attached to ttie 
remedy is a note referring us to th.e book 
which contains all this knowledge. In 
this book, so many cases described 
the nature of which would have escaped 
f}je penetrating eye of any other prac¬ 
titioner, surgeon, or j)hysician, that the 
linhappy sufferer will find no security, 
but under the care of the author of these 
•“ excellend'’ observations. Observe also 
the additional note, “ Some more mo¬ 
dern writers have absurdly called this 
disorder tlie spleen; whilst others, in¬ 
fluenced by the whimsical humoral pa¬ 
thology, have denominated it the va¬ 
pours.” Foolish people! How much 
wiser are those who like IMr. Aheruethy 
Itave discovered that the liver otily is in 
fault. 
But who are the authors that have 
preceded the writer of these “ excellenc 
observationii.” First, we are ititroduced 
to Greek etymologies, winch every 
school-boy learns in parsing his lessons, 
and every chemists apprentice traces in 
Quincy’s Lexicon ; next we have a string 
of quotations from Horace aiid Juvenal, 
to which, and many more, the copious 
indexes to those authors would refer any 
one; and lastly, we are reminded of the 
extraordinary assertions of a gossip, 
who relates, and seems to believe every 
old woman’s story he can collect,'^ 
These poetical figures and idle tales 
may sound like arguments, or autho¬ 
rities, to miscellaneous readers. As a 
reverend writer remarks of some kind of 
sermons, it is indifferent from what part 
of Scripture you take vour text. Phry¬ 
gia and Pamphvlia, Asia, Cappadocia, 
and Pontns. Say pretty things show your 
learning, and take care not to enter into 
close reasoning, and all will do vvelh 
Your correspondent indeed admits, that 
these passages are only metaphorical. Do 
they prove more thvsn than the passage 
which the grave Daniel Turner has pro¬ 
duced from the Proverbs, by which he 
wishes to insinuate, that sinners of So¬ 
lomon’s davs were liable to the same 
dangers as in our own times? “He 
goeth after her straight-way, as an ox 
goeih to the slaughter, or as a fool to 
the correction of the stocks, till a dart 
strike through his liver,” &:c. 
To conclude, Sir; before the circula¬ 
tion of the blood was discovered by our 
immortal Hervey, the liver was consi¬ 
dered as the principal organ, m whatever 
related to that fluid. No wonder tlieii 
that it should be used metaphorically 
for the health of the body. Nor can we 
question that, when that organ is dis¬ 
eased, the w'hole must in a certain de¬ 
gree sufi’er. But are we from hence to 
infer the converse, that whenever the 
bodily health suffers, the liver must al¬ 
ways be in fault. It is time that physic, 
with the other sciences, should banish 
every inference from metaphorical lan«* 
guage. T. 
Westminster, Sept. 2, 1811. 
For the Monthly Magazine. 
Mrs. ShallozC' — -Mrs. TowaLy — MissTozrn^ 
ly—Master Shallow—on the choke of 
a School. 
Mrs. Shallow. T AIM sadly afraid that I 
shall be obliged to part 
witli mv darling little fellovv ; his fa- 
ther, when he left England, charged me 
to send him to a boarding-school: he has 
now been absent two years—his return 
is daily expected—and I shall he much 
blamed if he finds my poor Tommy still 
at home. 
Mrs. Townly .—Bless me, IMrs. Shal¬ 
low! hav’n’c you yet sent the boy to 
school ? I understood from Mr, Shallow 
that every thing was arranged for his pro¬ 
ceeding tliither immediately after his own 
departure; and that, though he had had 
much ditficuky in persuading you to the 
measure, you hatl at last given your en^* 
tire consciU. 
Ml'S. Shallow.-—Mr. Shallow told you 
the truth, madam. He did indeed extort 
a promise from me that Tommy should 
be sent to a hoarding-school; though 
9j U 2 v.ot 
* Pliny, 
