12 L' Ape Italiana.- 
it happens that most people have an 
extreme aversion to those rough hewn 
and half-civilized Goths so frequently 
met with, while they have but a remote 
sense of the danger of cut-throats and 
malefactors. None, indeed, can doubt 
of the importance of accomplished man¬ 
ners in society, who would not prefer 
solitude and a cell to a pleasant inter¬ 
course with our fellow beings. That 
you may more easily observe true po¬ 
liteness and grace of manner in action 
as well as in words, it is essential, in 
the first place, that you should endea¬ 
vour to model your style of conversa¬ 
tion less according to your own judg¬ 
ment and inclination than with a view 
to the objects and pleasures of those 
with whom you converse. This, how¬ 
ever, is to be done with discretion, as 
he who appears designedly to animate 
and direct discourse at you, is rather 
acting the part of a hired fencing mas¬ 
ter, or a buffoon, a lick spittle, or a 
spy, or indeed any part but that of a 
gentleman. This is worse than the 
opposite fault, that of not paying the 
least attention to the accommodation 
and amusement of the guests, though 
this is doubtless vile and unmannerly 
enough. If we would consult the plea¬ 
sure of others in preference to our own 
gratification, we should soon perceive 
what is delightful or disagreeable to 
them, and what conduct and modes of 
proceeding are preferable on different 
occasions. Selfishness is a great bar to 
true politeness of manner, and we per¬ 
ceive that those who truly love one 
another, always succeed in avoiding 
every the least act tending to produce 
disgust and ennui , either to the imagi¬ 
nation or the senses. In a similar way, 
there are many things revolting to good 
sense and cultivated tastes, that ought 
carefully to be shunned; as childish 
and absurd manners are little less dis¬ 
gusting than such as are immodest and 
unbecoming. Of the last we need not 
speak, observing only that nothing pro¬ 
ductive of unpleasant feelings to the 
hearts or imaginations of those present, 
ought ever to be tolerated in gentle and 
refined society. Thus we ought never 
to give ourselves the same airs we may 
assume if we please at home. We must 
not scratch our head for a thought, or 
gape, or lounge, or let out our waist¬ 
coats if too tight after dinner; much 
less do I think it proper to wash hands 
before decent company, as the reason 
for doing so must necessarily, in some 
degree, bring uncleanly thoughts into 
the imagination. 
-No. XXIII. ~ [Aug. 1, 
44 This and similar things equally 
disagreeable, such as rubbing your 
teeth, blowing, chumping and masti¬ 
cating with eagerness, rattling of knives 
or tongues, &c. Ac. are all relics of 
barbarity only proper to be forgotten. 
In addition to this, a man ought to be 
diffident of singing, more especially if 
he have an ill voice resembling the ra¬ 
ven rather than the nightingale, a fault 
of which many are not sufficiently 
aware, as those with little accomplish¬ 
ment are most eager to make a display. 
Some persons too would make excel¬ 
lent trumpeters to judge from their 
style of coughing and blowing of noses. 
Besides, unless these are dexterously 
managed, we think it little less polite 
in company than spitting on the floor 
or sprinkling people with it in the face. 
44 Then others when they feel inclin¬ 
ed will open 44 the wide and ponderous 
jaws” of weariness, with so little cere¬ 
mony and so much noise, as to resemble 
nothing so much as the braying of an 
ass. But this, at the same time, does 
not prevent them from pursuing the 
conversation, which is uttered with 
something between a grunt and a howl, 
similar to the unsuccessful attempt of 
a dumb or stuttering man to speak. 
Such people should consider that this 
is not altogether so pleasant to their 
hearers as to themselves, and should 
consequently, as much as their indo¬ 
lence or ill manners will permit, en¬ 
deavour to avoid it. 
I would not insult the understanding 
and taste of a gentleman by observing 
that, as long as there are other methods 
of expressing our dislike of the company 
we are in, and a strong desire of being 
somewhere else, that this ultimate ap¬ 
peal to yawning and growling should 
never be resorted to. If the spirit of a 
party be kept alive, and a new and 
delightful turn occasionally given to 
the conversation, there will be little 
inclination to express our opinion of 
our guests in this way ; but you may 
frequently perceive in dull and lifeless 
parties a strong disposition to the yawn, 
which once begun is communicated like 
an electric spark to the whole company. 
It is said, indeed, that in Latin the 
words for yawning, idling, lounging, 
&c. are pretty nearly synonymous 
terms. 
44 Then, in spite of the dulness and 
folly of those around you, do all in your 
power, my dear hoy, to resist this 
wicked spirit of ennui , which at once 
betrays your own indolence, weakness, 
