May 3, lyrj 
LAINU &' WATER 
A Naval Holiday 
By the Author of " A Grand Fleet Chaplain's Notebook 
t: 
^lEKlC arc many advantugL's in sea-voyaging, 
wrote Saudi the sweot singer of .Persia —'" bnt 
security is not one of thom. ' \\'hicli shows that 
it is (}uite possible for apoct t(j talk sense at times. 
Security ? Why, it is not so much a ciuestion <jf " the dangers 
of the seas and the violence of the enemy " -for preser\ation 
from which things the Navy prays officially every morning 
at J)ivisions ; we can say to'the wind, like the jolly mariner in 
The 7'cijtpcsl " Blow till thou burst thyself, if room enough " ; 
and as tor the \iolence of the cnemj', good honest open 
\iolence is a game that two can play at ; much more to (jur 
minds is the petition, " hrustrate tlieir knavish tricks " -those 
Hunnish activities with which we ha\eno desire to comjjete 
Securicy, as was well rubbed into me at school, means 
not safety, but freedom from care — {Seciirus-a-iun, from sc 
and ciira, and be careful not to get mixed up with seciiris 
an axe) — and, consequently, the only security, in the classic 
sense, possible during term-time was in the rare occasion of 
a holiday, when freedom from care was the great thing to be 
desired at that harassed period of life. flow bitter 1 used 
to feel against those fatuous middle-aged peojile who would 
persist in saying that sciiool-days arc the happiest days of 
one's life ! J'^ven a holiday was not alwavs ail that it pro- 
mised to be ; there were days when — 
But these sad reminiscences are swee])ing down up.)n mo 
as the result of a naval holiday, the descrij:)tion oi which 
may perhaps be more interesting than the tale of bygone 
disappointments. 
The naval holiday to which I refer was hot of that sort 
pro])osed a few years ago, when certain simple-minded gentle- 
men brought forward the innocent suggestion that Britain 
should show her goodwill towards Germany by refraining 
from shipbuilding lor a while (iermany, of course, to do the 
same. Kather like ;> policeman offering to leave his truncheon 
at home on ct)nditioii that all burglars should pass their word 
to do the like with their crowbars and jemmies ! 
Tlial naval holiday, fortunately, never eventuated ; where- 
as the one I am about to describe was a holiday that actually 
took place though 1 am not going to say when and where, 
or which ships they were that Went on tlie jaunt. You can 
guess, if you like, but you will probably guess wrong ; for my 
part, while guaranteeing the tale to be'as accurate as the fire 
of our guns, f reserve the right to maintain the same di.screet 
silence about mere details as about the remarks made by our 
gunnery lieutenant when it was all over. 
There is no doubt about it, wc were thoroughly bored 
with being in harbour. Swinging round a buoy is all very 
well wheayou can go a-^hore and follow the bent of your own 
sweet will in any dinction from , fox-hunting to poodle- 
faking ; thou^,'h evefi these relaxations lose llu'ir interest in 
war tune. But when tln're is simply nothing to go ashore 
for except to pick a sp'rig of purple heather which with a little 
care can be bleached and palmed off on your best girl as a 
genuine piece of the lucky wliite article--fno, I haven't done 
this myself, but there are others not quite so conscientious) — 
let me see—where am I ? Oh, yes, 1 was saying that vou can 
get very fed up indeed with being in harbour when" there's 
a war oh, and a day or two of it is quite enough for anybody. 
Well, we had had more than a day or two of it, and were 
beginning to get very restless. We wanted to meet the Hun, and 
didn't see any sense at all in this quiet life : the thrilling excite- 
ment of aiming-rifle practice failed to arouse any enthusiasm, 
and even the suggestion of having (ieneral Drill next Mondav 
fell very flat ! 
No man ali\e can explain how it is that any news on board 
a man-of-war always comes first from either a flat-sweeper pr 
a cook's mate or a third writer ; nor by what mysterious means, 
telepathic or otherwise, these individuals get hold of their ' 
information; but the fact remains true, that their news 'is 
generally ])rctty reliable. 
it was so, in our case. " 1 had it from my servant," ex- ' 
plained one of the lieutenants ; " he says it is ail over the lower ' 
deck. I don't mind betting it's true! " .' 
" Well, I was told the same thing down in the engine-room 
five minutes ago," said the Chief ; " funny thing, i ve heaicl 
nothing oflicially, but if we arc going out this afternoon you 
would think that 1 should know something about it before 
a second-class stoker, wouldn't you ? " But the ruihour was 
true, and we did streak out swiftly and silently at the very tiiiie ' 
predicted. I'lirthermore, the bux/, also got al)out that \ye 
were out for a proper stunt and were likely to see scjiuelhi-ng 
doing. . ;', ' 
We were as luipiiy as boys who ha\e been givijn {in un- 
expected lioliilay. In fact, it xcas a holiday for us, and M'e looked 
for noni; better. 
Out from the harbour's mouth, away ajid onwards till the 
coastline grew fainter and then disappeared below the 
horizon. Shearing a path through the white-capped seas, 
on a straight course hour after hour, like hounds when the 
scent is strong. 
. Hour after hour, and still no alteration of course. Plainly 
some definite object, was the remark. That was enough. 
What do we underlings know of the i>lans and strategies 
of the higher gods, admirals, and such-hkc oniniscients ? 
Yet — it is astonishing how these things get about, citlier 
the cook's mate or the flat-sweeper or the third writer again 
was probably the fount of knowledge — th^ idea grew and took 
form as an accepted fact that we were trying to cut off a 
certain portion oi the enemy's fleet, and might reckon on com- 
'^T^hesc are the critical days of the war. Victory 
depends on the efforts of the British people, 
individually and collectively. 
Our first duty is not only to limit our personal 
consumption of bread, but to explain to all on 
whom we can exercise influence the urgent neces- 
sity for this form of economy. Extravagance and 
waste continue mainly because the offenders 
have not realised the seriousness of the situation. 
German submarines have carried the war into 
every house in these islands, but their attack on 
national security can be repelled successfully if 
in every house strictest economy in all food, but 
especially in bread, is made the daily rule. 
Complete military victory is as much dependent 
on bread economy at home during the next three 
months as on the spirit of our fighting men at the 
Front or on a plentiful supply of war munitions. 
ing up with them in about three hours' time. An electric 
tlirill seemed to pas^' through the ship ; such a tonic as all the 
bottles in the sick-bay could not provide appeared to have 
been absorbed by all hands fore and aft with instantaneous 
effect. As for the gunnery lieutenant, he became like ai 
entomologist who has been searching all his life for a specimen 
of the extremely rare Lesser Cabbage White and at last descries 
one hovering in the tree-tops above him. I do not know 
whether I have got the scientific details of this simile corrtct, 
but the principle is the same, and that is the main thing. 
Presently the helm went hard over, and the ship made an 
eight point turn. Did this sudden alteration of course in- 
dicate some new development ? Those who were able to leave 
their post for a moment rushed up on deck ; but nothing was to 
be seen of the enemy as yet. 
A few minutes later the navigating officer came down 
from the bridge, smiling and rubbing his hands in the manner 
which is generally described as " gleefully." 
" Aha. boys," he chortled, " you'll be going over a mine- 
field in about twenty-minutes' time ; it's long odds you'll 
all be blown to glory ! / shall be all right — shall just float 
gracefully off from the bridge when it reaches the water-level ; 
but I'm sorry for you ! " 
" And how do you know where the enemy's mine-fields 
are ? " we enquired sceptically. 
" Oh, this is nothing to do with the enemy," he replied 
with airv nonchalance, " it's one of our mvn mine-fields ! 
It makes a short cut ! " 
***** 
Neither in the sense of safety, nor in that of freedom 
from care, can there be said to be much security attached to 
sea-voyaging ; Saadi was not far out in his remark. 
And the end of our naval holiday? Well, I told you it 
was those spoiled and disappointing holidays of long ago that 
brought this one to my mind. 
We just saw the tail of the Hun. that was all ; and even the 
tail sli'jipcd away before we could grab hold of it. 
True, wc also spoiled his little game, but well, you should have 
'heard what the gunncYy lieutenant said ! .All that was left 
' for us was to proceed back to our base, creeping unwillingly 
to school, so to speak, with our holiday too disgustful to look 
back upon. We were e\en glad to forget it in the inevitable 
task of " Coal Shiu ! " 
