June 14, 1917 
LAND & WATER 
15 
" • It'th no trouble, I aththure you,'" lisped the sacrifice. 
The Military Attache's voice took on a note of challenge. 
" I want you to study the ethics of the position," he told 
the Private Secretary. " So far L had tapped once on a box 
door and I had ordered two drinks. That was all. I accept 
111) responsibility for anything more than that. I had sought 
no help, I was interfering with the destiny of no man. When 
the sacrifice thrust his offer of assistance upon me, I repelled 
him. When he repeated his offer, I said, 
'■ ' Will you be so kind as to take this drink to a man who 
is sitting inthe Royal Box?' 
■' Thertainly, thir,' said the sacrifice." 
The Military Attache shrugged his shoulder^. 
" it would have been uncivil to do less," he went on. " The 
Mcrilicc hurried out of the bar, tumbler in hand, and tapped 
n) the door of the Royal Box. There was no reply. He 
tapped again, and finally opened the door. I have told you 
that our corpulent friend was beginning to look annoyed ; 
when the door opened, he was standing half behind it, witii 
an ebony walking stick raised in the air. Another moment, 
and the stick was broken in two pieces over the head of the 
sacrifice." 
The Private Secretary gave a little shudder of delight, and 
successfully pocketed a second box of matches. 
" What happened?" he asked, eagerly. 
" The sacrifice seemed surprised," answered the Military 
.\ltache, ': surprised, pained and resentful. By a miracle, 
no less, the s]iarkling draught had not been spilt in the opening 
skirmish, and he lost no time in throwing it in the face of his 
assailant, following up the attack with the empty tumbler. As 
soon as the coqiulent man had finished coughing, he picked 
the pieces of broken glass out of his hair, set his teeth firmly 
and started to effect what I have no doubt was I14S first 
murder." 
Here the King's Messenger took up the running. 
" I felt it was time for sometliing to be done," he expUuned 
decorously. " I murmured to the Iron King, ' This is a very 
disgraceful affair." " 
" It was the sort of murmur that makes the orchestra 
wonder what has happened to ,its instruments," observed 
the Military Attache. " A crowd immediately collected, and 
the usual voice from the usual timid man well at tiie back 
was lieard to say, ' Throw them out.' For myself, I never 
mind a really healthy display of the noble art, though I am 
bound to admit that the corpulent man's teeth were now 
meeting in the neck of his opponent. The Iron [King, who 
had so far played a silent but impressive part, now enquired 
\\her(> tlie police were. The Sporting Man had hurried out of 
the stalls and was making a book with a wounded officer ; 
and a Canadian, on leave, offered tot hrow out any three men 
single-handed. Mea'nwhile the performance on the stage was 
suspended, and people in the gallery were clamouririg to have 
their money back. " 
The Military Attache paused to replenisli his glass witli 
non-alcoholic orange-cup and absent-mindedly surrendered 
his match-box to the outstretched hand of the Private 
Secretary. 
" I will not weary you with the imseemly details of very 
unscientific fighting." he resumed. " The"" tide of battU; 
ebbed and flowed : at one moment tlie sacrifice had both 
thumbs within his assailant's eye-sockets, at another only 
one. The usual door-keepers, whose work was not regarded 
by the Tribunals as being of national importance, Iiad been 
called up with tlieir classf s ; and their elderly substitutes were 
not to be found. The Canadian was preparing to create a 
ilesolation and call it peace, the Sporting Man was lodging 
lu objection, and the King's Messenger was repeating — with 
.1 certain monotony, if I may say so without oltence — that it 
was a very chsgraeeful aliair, when a programme-seller entered 
:it the double, followed by t)ie police. We then went into the 
Royal Box and closed the door." 
The Mihtary Attache glanced at his watch and ordered the 
bill to be brought to the Milhonaire. 
" .\nd so we had comfortable seats," he concluded. " And 
so I won my bet." 
" TIu: police asked us if we could give evidence, but the 
Iron King said that he had not watehed very attentively, as 
he thought it was prearranged for the benefit of a cinemato- 
graph operator. The elderly door-keepers were still sprinkling 
sawdust when we left. They seemed to think that the cor- 
pulent man might in time recover the partial use of one arm, 
but, of course, I have no means of saying if they were in a 
position to judge." • 
Tlierc have been savings since the War Loan, and those who 
wish to help their country with their money should invest new 
savings in the new 5 per cent. Exchequer Bonds. A Bond for 
'5. ;£^e. or £^0 can be obtained from any Money Order Post 
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will help the prospective inve.stor. Persons having /loo, or over. 
to invest mnv set a prospectus from any Stockbroker^ or Banker. 
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