14 
Land & Water 
March 21, 191^ 
Meanwhile, Sergeant LawTence, having turned the corner 
of the Place had arrived at the door of the ^ptcerte. He 
reconnoitred it from nutsjde, and seeing two soldiers at the 
counter, he retreated. He walked up and down once or 
twice advanced to the door, and again retreated, until, 
seeing the eye of a military policeman on the opposite side 
of the street watching him with professional curiosity, he 
walked straight into the shop. At the same moment the 
two customers emerged from it. 
Behind the counter was Marie Claire. A wave of colour 
swept over her face as she saw him. They stood looking 
at each other. ■■ ^ , ^ 
"Bon jour, M'sieu'. Douzeoeufs?" she said at last. 
Sergeant Lawrence's eye caught sight of a rose in a vase 
on the shelf behind her. It was a languid rose with drooping 
petals, long past its first bloom ; but he thought he recog- 
nised it. On the counter lav a small book with the words 
" Francjais-Anglais " on the rover. He suddenly had an 
inspiration. 
"Afadame " he began. 
"Mademoiselle," she corrected. "Encore Mademoiselle. 
" Mademoiselle Marie ClaiEe"— she wondered where he had 
got hold of her name — "voulez-vouse me donner lessons — 
French — pour un franc?" 
"Moi? " 
"Oui." 
She hesitated a moment. " Maman ! Ici ! " 
There was . a sound of heavy breathing. " Maman " 
appeared. She was large and round, and so richly endowed 
by Nature that her chin seemed to melt into her neck, her 
neck into her bosom. Wliere other people display joints, 
her body exhibited nothing but creases. Her bosom rose 
and felf continuously in short respirations, and the purple 
satin of her blouse rose and fell with them as though it were 
a natural plumage. Two large dimples appeared on either 
side of her mouth, giving the spectator the impression that 
she was smiling. The smile, however, was perpetual, and 
afforded no index to the state of her emotions — it was one of 
Nature's tricks of camouflage, and served to mask a variety 
of moods ranging from lazy benevolence to active rapacity. 
It was useful in business. If anyone objected to Madame's 
terms, she always dismissed the objection with " les affaires 
son/ les affaires," and continued to smile with the same 
impassivity. She was a tj'pical bourgeoise. 
"M'sieu' " began Marie Claire, turning interrogatively 
to the sergeant. 
"Lawrence — John Lawrence," said the sergeant. 
■'M'sieu' Lorens wants me to give him lessons in French, 
maman," said Marie Claire to her mother in her native tongue. 
"He offers me a franc a lessofi," she added quickly, seeing 
her mother hesitate, and fearing a prohibition of such 
intimacy. 
But Madame was not pondering the proprieties. 
"DeiLX francs !" said Madame, with a smile of benediction 
which expressed a genuine conviction that it is more blessed 
to receive than to give. 
"Oh, maman!" protested Marie Claire. 
But Sergeant Lawrence jumped at the stipulation. " Done ! 
Bong! Bien!" he exclaimed hurriedly. Had Madame 
made it ten francs he would have cheerfully acquiesced. 
Then began for Sergeant Lawrence a course of French 
Without Tears. It was intensive training, for he knew that 
the battalion's "rest" in billets was short, and he took two 
lessons a day. They were given in the parlour behind the 
shop, with maman always in attendance, except for brief 
and occasional absences when a customer claimed her 
attention. During these absences the conversation took on 
a less Ollendorfian character ; they ceased to ask each other 
whether the gardener's mother-in-law had the paper-knife 
of the tailor's step-brother, and Sergeant Lawrence found 
himself speaking English, as a language more naturally 
expressive of the emotions. 
"Mademoiselle, will you come for a promenade ? " he said 
suddenly in one of these truant intervals. 
She hesitated. " It is not convenahle." 
"Why not ?" he pleaded. 
" In France we do not go for a walk unless we are— what 
you call it ? — 'engaged' — fiance." 
"Then let's get engaged," he said, decisively. 
"Parbleu! To go for a walk!" Her eyes were full of 
mirth. 
"No! To get married," he said. 
She coloured, but said nothing. He leaned forward and 
seized her hand. This time she did not withdraw it. "In 
France," she said, at length, " it is not convenahle to ask a 
girl that." And, seeing his look of astonishment, she added : 
"You must speak to maman first." 
"Bon! Right away!" he said. 
"Have you asked your papa?" .she said as they waited 
■ for maman's return from the shop. 
" My papa ! " he exclaimed. " You mean my old governor ? 
Lord, no! Nor my grandpapa." He remembered there was 
a Table of Affinities in the door of the church-porch at home, 
proclaiming to all that a man may not marry his grand- 
mother, but he could not see what that had to do with it. 
"In France," explained Marie Claire, "the children do not 
marry without the consent of their papas and mammas. 
The garcon asks his papa, and his papa asks the papa of the 
demoiselle. Then there's a conseil de famille." 
" Lord love me ! It sounds like an inquest. . . . 
Madame ! " he said, rising to his feet as maman returned. 
"I would like to marry your daughter. Marie Claire. I — I 
love her," h£ added simply. 
"Bien," said Madame, with the eternal smile. 
He thought she said "Combien?" and added, hastily: 
" I'm a platoon-sergeant, my pay's 2s. lod. a day, I don't chuck 
money about, and I've got ^50 in the bank. I've a clean 
conduct-sheet, Madame. You can ask the adjutant." 
To all of which — uttered in hurried English — Madame 
made no replv, but continued to smile. For Madame knew 
it all already. How ? By a series of judicious inquiries 
conducted in many quarters. She had an instinct for these 
things. 
Lawrence did not tell her that he had the D.C.M., that he 
had been at Mons, and that, if the Fates spared him, he 
would one day wear a medal with many clasps which would 
record "Mons," "Le Cateau," "the Marne," "the Aisne,"^ 
"Ypres," and many another tale of epic battles. After all, 
these were not things that a fellow talked about. 
And Marie Claire put up her mouth and received his first 
kiss. Maman looked on with a mercenary smile, being 
engaged at that moment in a rapid mental calculation of 
how many francs there were in fifty pounds and also what 
Marie's dot should be and whether she should throw in 
the second best feather-bed. Sergeant Lawrence wondered 
whether it was not "convenahle" to kiss one's fiancee except 
in the presence of her maman. He wondered also whether 
he ought to have kissed' w«waM first. He even wondered for 
one brief moment whether maman had ever looked like Marie 
Claire, but he peremptorily dismissed this unbidden thought 
as treasonable and a temptation of the devil. 
Sergeant Lawrence had an interview with his CO., and 
the CO., having satisfied himself, in the spirit of No. 1360 of 
the King's Regulations, that the lady was a virtuous woman 
and precious above rubies, duly notified the D.A.A.G. 3rd 
Echelon, who in turn communicated with the Officer in 
Charge of Records. Which being done, the CO. was duly 
informed that there appeared to be no just cause or legal 
impediment in the way of the marriage. And John Lawrence 
went before an officer who was a Commissioner of Oaths, and' 
made a statutory declaration to the same effect. He also- 
produced a birth certificate. All of which solemn declara- 
tions the CO. forwarded to the Procureur de la RSpublique 
of the arrondissement, who thereupon communicated with 
the maire of the commune. 
All these things took time, and Sergeant Lawrence liad tO' 
go into the trenches again before the marriage ceremony 
could be celebrated. Marie Claire spent many sleepless 
nights trying to dispute a fixed idea that all the enemy 
batteries had got John Lawrence personally "registered," 
and were laid on him. But he came out all right, and one 
day Marie Claire and her maman, with an amazing retinue 
of relations, illustrating all the Ollendorfian degrees of 
affinity, who accompanied them, met Sergeants Lawrence 
and Chipchase at the maison commune. Maman introduced 
him to a beau-pere who was not "beau" and a belle-sceur 
who was not "belle," but he reflected that the French are 
nothing if not polite. It seemed extraordinarily like a 
lesson in Ollendorfian French, as the stepfather was a 
cordonnier and the brother-in-law was a charcutier, and they 
all got mixed up in the most approved Ollendorfian manner. 
Lawrence had obtained a certificat de coutume from the 
consul at the base to the effect that in English law the consent 
of the father is not necesseu-y to the present marriage ; and 
this being duly read by the adjoint au maire, whom Chipchase 
called the adjutant, Lawrence again solemnly declared that 
there existed no just cause or legal impediment. 
Whereupon the "contractant," John Lawrence, in English, 
and the "contractante," Marie Claire, in French, declared 
their wish to take one another for spouse. 
And the adjoint declared them united in marriage. And 
maman for the first time lost her smile and wept. And all 
the relations, to the number of two score and three, wept 
likewise, until Lawrence felt more than ever that it w^s like 
an inquest. But Marie Claire's .smile reassured him. 
And the adjoint, having recited his entries in the register 
