i8 
Land & Water 
April II, 19 1 8 
brought up before the commander on those rare occasions 
on which he was caught breaking the regulations, ran as 
follows : 
" Intimately hassociated as I am with every social hor- 
ganisation in this Vrc ship. I hegs to point out . . ." 
The alternative to this opening was as follows : 
"Speakin' not so much fer myself as fer those wot ain't 
fluent, I begs to point out . . ." 
Either remark is a perfect index to a character which, 
though interesting to study, was a thorn in many fleshes. 
Early in 1915 the brass band was in full swing. A.B. Thomas 
was the amateur bandmaster, and undoubtedly knew his 
job. He played the cornet with tremendous vigour, and 
kept the band in good order. I remember, one day in the 
middle of the Japanese .Anthem, he removed his cornet from 
his lips, and, shaking it in the direction of a panting signal- 
man, shouted : "Blow you — , yer dirty hound." A fearful 
blare from the criticised performer, who was supporting a 
b;issoon, testified to the accuracy of the bandmaster's 
criticism. 
The manner in which this signalman became a bandsman 
was typical of many of our recruits, and illustrates the average 
sailors' behef in his own capabilities. Signalman Bunting 
came to my cabin one evening, and informed me that he 
desired to join the band. Much gratified, I inquired what 
instrument he played. He explained that he did not actually 
play any instrument, but that, noticing an advertisement 
which offered a second-hand bassoon for £6, and observing 
that he happened to possess £$. he considered that the 
opportunity was unique. 
Although I did not feel quitf so sanguine as he did, 1 had 
not the courage to damp such enthusiasm ; I had my reward, 
for, strange to say, as a result of daily practice in the sohtude 
of the starboard condenser-room. Bunting became quite a 
good performer. Another sportsman bought a silver-plated 
trombone on the credit system, which was priced £12 los. 
On being pressed for pavmcnt, he applied to me for a loan 
of £10. 
I was weak enough to oblige him, and every month I 
used to receive niasses of coppers and sixpenny-bits, until 
at the end of a year we were square. I could never make 
out where he got the money from, as he was in the habit of 
bringing instalments at al! sorts of odd times, whilst the 
hands, of course, are paid monthh'. The secret was revealed 
upon the day on which , the ship's police discovered him 
presiding over a crown and anchor board in the screw alley. 
Fortunately for me, this event took place some time after 
the debt was liquidated. I can still remember the anxiety 
with which I used to watch this gentleman on those occasions 
when we came under shell-fire. 
As the months went by, the band improved and grew in 
grace ; a certain town sent us music, and, more wonderful, 
an official letter to the School of Music eventually extracted 
some most interesting old orchestrated operas whose tuneful 
rhelodies must have charmed our fathers ; not that it 
mattered in the least, as our band would have played Cesar 
Franck, Debussy, Rameau, Scriabine, or any of the moderns 
with the same pleasure with which they tackled "The Merry 
Peasant" or the latest ragtime — all was grist that came to 
their mill. 
Every morning at 8 o'clock they played three national 
anthems from amongst those of the Allies, and our initial 
practice of betting in our baths as to which they were, soon 
lost its interest. As soon as the band got properly going it 
was placed on a semi-official basis ; it had a special routine 
of its own, the principle of which was that, in return for 
services rendered at route marches, and to the ship's com- 
pany during the dog-watches, the band were excused certain 
duties. 
The rush of recruits was amazing, and at one time we had 
no less than thirty-seven, all working '"ands" on some 
form of musical instniment. The commander was a true 
patron of the fine arts ; but when the excused list rose to 
thirty-seven I had an interview with him, and I was told 
that future candidates would have to go on a waiting list, 
unless they were exceptionally talented. 
I also used to find a certain difficulty in persuading the 
gunnery-lieutenant that musical members of a gun's crew 
were as well employed" at their instruments as at their guns 
during "quarters clean guns" periods. Can it be that 
gunnery-lieutenants as a class are not musically inclined ? 
It must not be supposed that the band had no enemies, 
for, though much appreciated by the ship's company as a 
whole, there were always a few objectors. 
The big drum was punctured at regular intervals in a most 
mysterious manner ; these outbreaks generally coincided 
with the expulsion of some refractory member from the 
band. One memorable evening the band were playing to a 
crowd of about a hundred sailors on the boat deck, when an 
enemy of the band threw a halfpenny down the euphonium. 
As the euphoninm-playcr, a certain Stoker Emmanuel Millar, 
explained to me afterwards in the privacy of my cabin, 
" I was a-suckin' at the moment, sir ! an' that swine 'e knew 
it, 'e did, and wot I sez is, I chucks me blinkin' 'and in, I 
does, with t;liis 'ere band. I expects appreciation, not 
insults." I eventually soothed his outraged feelings, but it 
cost the band fund £'3 12s. fid. to get the euphonium stripped 
in Edinburgh and the deadly coin removed. Two engine- 
room artificers and the blacksmith volunteered to do the job 
as a mark of their esteem for the band. 
As time went on, most of the other ships of the neigh- 
bouring squadrons started bands ; and a tremendous spirit 
of competition grew up, deadly feuds existing between rival 
l)andmasters. This was well illustrated at the squadron 
sports, at which function the bands were scheduled to per- 
form in "mass" formation. The burning question arose as 
to which bandmaster was to have the honour of conducting. 
It was eventually decided by drawing lots. The lot did not 
fall upon Able-seaman Thonias, whereupon this gentleman 
registered his displeasure on the day of the event by per- 
sistently playing his cornet a tone flat, -alleging, in reply to 
my indignant accusations, that "me lips were all of a crack." 
Curiously enough, this unsportsmanlike act was highly 
approved of by all our band, who apparently considered it a 
very natural outcome of an artistic temperament. 
The band continued with ups and downs for three years, 
when most of its members left the ship, and it died a natural 
death. 
Before concluding its histor\', one incident in connection 
with our liig-drummer deserves to be told. We had a very 
fine big drum, on which our battle honours were cunningly 
inscribed, and its purchase price hung for months like a 
mill-stone round our financial neck. The drum was played 
by an enormous seaman, who, by dint of much saving, Iiad 
purchased a second-hand leopard skin ; and vvhen route 
marching he was our pride and joy. At Jutland he lost a 
leg, and soon after his removal from the operating-room, I 
went along to see how he was getting on. A pal of his came 
in at the same time and, by way of letting him know the 
worst, said, in lugubrious tones : 
"Them Huns have put a shell right through your drum. 
Bill — smashed it up, a fair treat, they have." 
Bill was supposed to be suffering from severe shock at the 
time, and the sick berth steward was horrified at the blunt- 
ness of this remark. It acted in an unexpected manner on 
Bill, who had been lying very still. 
Raising himself on one arm, he shook his fist at the deck 
overhead, and came out with a torrent of abuse concerning 
the Huns. The doctor told me afterwards that Bill spent 
most of the night muttering and damning the Germans ; 
he seemed to consider that tlie loss of a leg was a matter of 
secondary importance. It is pleasing to record that Bill is 
now estabhshed in a comfortable job ashore, and that the 
shattered drum is in safe keeping as an honoured relic. 
Though the band is now dispersed and its members are 
scattered, it served its purpose and brightened many a 
monotonous hour in the North Sea. We may also say with 
pride that where we led the way others have followed, as 
I believe there are at the present moment more than a dozen 
voluntary bands in the small ships of the Fleet. Perhaps 
we are a musical race, after all ? 
Jason's essays on reconstmction have been a feature of 
L.AND & W.VTER for some months past. A baker's dozen of 
them are now published in book form under the title Past 
and Present (Chatto & Windus, 3s. 6d.). The author mentions 
in his preface that he makes no attempt to explore the whole 
field of social politics ; he lays down no programme, he only 
discusses a spirit which will revolutionise our way of looking 
at every programme. In his opinion, "the great lesson of 
the war is the lesson of equality." Jason reviews the pa.st 
only to show the more palpable social errors that have been 
committed, and he regards the future as being critical just in 
so far as we can or cannot combine power with equality, 
organisation with freedom. "For the needs and perils of the 
world make the waste and disorder of energy a crime, and 
the hiunan will revolts against tyranny, whether it takes the 
name of military necessity or economic law." We have 
indented rather largely on this preface in this introduction of 
these essays in their new book form, for it explains the 
author's true purpose. Jason, in our opinion, voices the 
sincere desire of a large body of intellectual men and women 
that in the future wider and wiser freedom and opportunity 
be given to all classes, and that in this country we abolish 
that poverty and misery which are the outcome not of 
individual failings, but of the faults of our social svstem. 
