June 6, 19 I 8 
Land & Water 
17 
The Canadians ■ By Centurion 
(April 2 2nd-2 6th, 19 15) 
" Take your hands off me or I'll trepan you." The M.O. raised his fist. 
to a 
skies 
The follmving is an authentic story of a certain Canadian 
lialtalion at the second battle of Ypres. 
IT was a warm April day — so warm tJiat it might have 
been mid-summer but for tfie anemones and tlie wild 
hyacinths which gleamed in the patches of woodland. 
The drab and grey monotones of the winter landscape 
of mud and low-lying mist liad changed in a few days 
scheme of primary colours in which the blue of the 
the green of the young grass, and the yellows of marsh- 
marigold and lesser celandine startled the eye with their 
sudden improvisations. It was one of those days when the 
spirit of spring takes on a visible incarnation and the 
mysteriqus force of life is felt in the air and in the blood. 
In the thrust of the tiny crumpled leaves on the trees, 
emerging from the buds like a butterfly from a chrysalis, 
one could almost see the secret impulse that animated them. 
The red roofs of V glowed in the afternoon sun. The 
front and back doors of every house stood open, and on the 
cobbled pavements the dogs lay with their heads between 
their extended paws,, opening and closing a drowsy but 
watchful eye. Except for two company orderly-sergeants, 
who stood at a door smoking in intimate silence, the street 
was deserted. The estamincts were empty, although it still 
wanted four hours till closing time. The sergeants had 
discarded their belts, and presented the negligi air of men 
who are "resting" in billets. 
"Some day !" remarked the taller of the two economically. 
■Jake!" replied the other, "(iuess you'll owe me a 
dollar to-night. Jack. The machine-gunners will knock spots 
out of them." 
" I'll make it two to one, if you like. Bob," said the first 
speaker confidently. 
"Done !" said the other. And they relapsed into silence. 
They fidgeted occasionally, as from time tp time loud 
shouts were borne upon their ears from the direction of a 
field outside the village. These appeared to come orchestrally 
from a crowd of men all shouting at once, though now and 
again a powerful voice was heard above the rest, and its 
nasal note repeated the same theme at intervals as in a fugue 
— " Take-him-<jut of" the-box I " . . . " Take-him-out-of-the- 
box!" The cry was repeated from time to time in notes 
which alternated between menace and entreaty. 
The origin of these sounds was to be sought in a field 
hard by the village. In this field were a crowd of officers 
and men who had posted themselves on two '=.ides of it in 
such a manner as t(j form, with their backs outward, an 
angle of ninety degrees. The men composing one side of 
this V-shaped formation were cheering lustily, while those 
on the other were ferociously silent. In the centre of the 
Copvrifhi in til" t'nitfMl Stiiies ot AiiiRnra 
V four grey-shirted men in khaki trousers were 
dashing madly round from one point to another, touching, 
as they went, four white bags on the ground at the corners 
of a square, and having apparently as their objective the 
bag nearest the apex of the V. An untutored mind might 
have mistaken their efforts for a variation of that unauthor- 
ised form of .^rrrly exercises known as "whipping to the 
gap." Far out in the field a breathless man was trying to 
pick up a ball, and seven other men, gloved as to the left 
hand, adjured him with many imprecations to "get on with 
it." A ninth' man, his face covered by a steel-barred mask 
and his left hand hooded in an enormous leather glove, 
stood b}' the corner bag. 
In the centre of the field was an officer, with the peak of 
his cap at the back of his head : his languid demeanour and 
the spare ball in his hand marked him as the umpire. Three 
of the runners had reached "home" at the corner, and the 
fourth was straining towards it, when there was a flash df 
white and the clean smack of a caught b»ll, which was no 
sooner caught than it was thrown to the masked keeper of 
the "home" base. The latter pirouetted on his feet as he 
caught it, and. stooping with a half-turn, quicklv touched 
the shoulder of the runner, who at the same moment dived 
headlong for the bag as though seeking sanctuary. He lay 
prostrate, with the catcher upright beside him, while all eyes 
were turned -from these two to the umpire. No imperial 
gesture deciding the lethal issue of life and death between 
two gladia'tors could have been more anxiously awaited. 
Without a word, the umpire jerked his thumb over his 
shoulder. The runner was "out." 
At that the sullen silence of the crowd of spectators on 
one side gave place to delirious cheering, while the exulta- 
tions of the supporters of the "in" side were transformed 
into howls of execration and dark threats against the umpire, 
who was freely accused of "graft" and other corrupt and 
illegal practices. 
"Safe a mile," yelled a voice above the rest. "Use your 
eyes, umps ! Wait till you come to me with a bullet in 
your hvcr ! I'll show what 'out' means." 
It was the regimental M.O. He shook his fist at the 
umpire aS he uttered his maledictions. 
"Go it, Dickie," urged a company commander at his 
elbow, encouragingly. " You haven't begun to warm up yet." 
"Kill the umpire!" yelled the M.O., with lethal fury. 
" Kill him ! Scalp him ! Tar and feather him I Tickle his 
feet ! " 
"Dry up, Dickie," said a subaltern beside him. "He was 
out all right." 
"That doesn't cut any ice," retorted tlie M.O. "Can't 
I have a yell to myself ? The umpire's got a glass eye, and 
a cheap 'un at that. Give him Medicine and Duty!" 
