R2 THE FLORIST. 
if there was no respondent in the case, I, the appellant, immediately 
resolved myself into a Fruit Committee (all articles to be tested by 
flavour), and proceeded zealously to business. . 
One dismal day, no reply having been made to my accostals, | had 
reached the Gooseberries, and had taken up my position as a Squatter 
in (the vicinity of) the Bush, when I suddenly heard with horrible 
amazement a rustling sound among the Scarlet Runners, and, like a 
tiger from the jungle, sprang the dreadful Dardner on his prey! 
How vividly I recall that awful capture !—the tedious procession to 
the house, which I did my best to enliven with brisk but ineffectual 
kicks; the astonished horror of the under-nurse, who immediately fore- 
told my speedy translation to a penal settlement, and could not have 
expressed herself more severely if I had shot the bishop of the diocese ; 
the trial by Fury, for such the head-nurse seemed to me in her wrath; 
the solemn sentence, “ Put him to bed!” Undressed, accordingly (1 
flatter myself that the operation was attended with some: difficulty ; 
there were buttons on the floor, I remember; and the Judge’s cap was 
considerably rumpled), imprisoned, ‘“ cribbed, confined,” 1 dreamed a 
memorable dream. I was in a garden, and a sweet little fairy invited 
me to climb the magic Beanstalk.. Glorious music from the silver 
horns of Elfland sounded softly around us as we reached the summit, 
and as we wandered among the most beautiful flowers aud the most 
delicious fruits. No Dardners marred the prospect ; and the fairy 
pressed me to refresh myself, with an earnestness which I was unwilling 
to offend. I was regretting, over my fourteenth Peach, the lamentable 
escape of juice, which is so inevitably connected with the out-door 
fruition of this fruit, and was meditating a transfer of my attentions in the 
direction of some white Nectarines, when all at once the sunlight faded, 
and the music was drowned by a thunderous bellowing which shook the 
‘* Royal Georges ”’ from their trees. A giant’s hand was laid upon my 
throat; and I awoke to see Nurse at my crib-side, standing before me, 
as Queen Eleanor before Fair Rosamond, with a cup im one hand 
(rhubarb and magnesia), and a dagger in the other, to wit, a dry old 
finger-biscuit, which I was graciously privileged ‘‘ to take after.” 
You feel for me, reader ;—don’t you?. I make no attempt, you will 
observe, to disparage the seasonable use of physic ; I know that Nemesis © 
is the sworn friend of Pomona, and that he who robs the orchard feels 
justly her avenging gripe; I could forgive Dardner for catching me at 
the Gooseberries ; for smiling many a time, as I have no doubt he did, 
when the doctor's gig drove up the avenue; for the remark he made, on 
the occasion of my reappearance after a somewhat serious surfeit, that 
“‘ he was afraid the pretty bird, who ate his Morello Cherries, had hurt 
his little beak against the stones; I could forgive him so far, and I 
could forgive Nurse for putting me to bed; but to make me swallow 
that vile nauseous mess, as an antidote to a perfectly impossible 
stomach-ache, to treat me as one surcharged and plethoric, when I was 
as hollow, sir, as my own drum; you must agree with me—although the 
mixture did not—that no insult could have been offered to me with a 
worse taste, and you will be glad to be told hereafter that I had my 
revenge, And here, as the champion of injured innocence, I protest 
