1797-1 
wife isa woman Of avery active turn of 
gnind.—Ah ! fir, there it is—She is of fo 
active a difpofition, ‘that reft is unknown 
-at our houfe. We have always fome- 
thing to hope, or fomething to fear, 
fome fcheme to execute, fome alteration 
to make, or fomething to illuftrate the 
defiderated doétrine of perpetual motion. 
But I mutt defcend to partic ulars. 
Soon after our marriage, it was found 
out by my wife, that the houfe we lived 
in was inconvenient, the ftair-café was 
narrow, the wainfcoting was impaired 
by time, and the floors were damaged.— 
There was much to be done, and much 
to be undone. Having litils of the fpi- 
rit of contradiétion in me, I had no dif- 
ficulty in admitting, that the hand of 
the carpenter might relieve us in thefe 
refpects ; and feat for a couple of trufty 
fellows, to whom I explained our wants,. 
and only hinted, that I could wifh the 
job finifhed with expedition ; which they, 
as is their cuitom, promifed fhould cer- 
tainly be the ete! But this was neither 
my- wife’s wifh nor intention. Finifoing 
isno part of her fyftem, and the word 
complete is, I believe, not in her vocabu- 
lary. Snev had! feccched “our in prove- 
ments of a higher kind, and probably 
dreading the fhallowne!s of my capacity 
to underftand the-whole,, chofe to deve- 
lope the plan in fuch fragments as might 
fuit-my comprehenfion Little, how- 
ever, as I’ knew of her intentions, I 
foon difcovered, that her fole pleafure 
was in duvfile, and that the had cut out 
this:work, neither forthe benefit o 
houfe, nor of the aI but purely 
to divert her mind, and keep her inven- 
tion in motion. Within a morth, our 
houfe was nearly quite demolifhed, a 
{mall referve only having been made for 
prefent accommodation, the 
which, to prevent interruption from vi- 
‘fitors, was the garret, and the only ac- 
cefs to it, by means of ladders ; the laft 
of which, it was my bufinefs to pull up 
after me, with the care and cireumfpec- 
tion of Robinfon oy) when he dread- 
eda vifit from the f favages. 
To interpofe now, I faw was in vain, 
for J did not with to demolitnall my com- 
forts together, and therefore let the lady 
direstrefs order every thing in her own 
tafte, hoping, that the whole would foon 
be completed, and that there could not 
be a pretence for farther alterations, for 
fome years at leaft. But in this we were 
mutually difappointed. I was difappoint- 
ed, becaufe my wife. was not fatisfied ; 
and the was difappojnted, becaule every 
of the 
Character of a Wife. 
ite of 
183 
thing having been done according to her 
own plan, and Poe done as fhe liked, 
fhe had no perfon toblame but Hei 
and that is atrouble, which my wife ne- 
ver takes, even when moft at leifure 
from other avocations. 
We had not been feated in our im- 
proved manfion many months, when my 
wife difcovered, that although no. fault 
could reafonably be found with the houfe 
itfelf (except, as aforefaid, that the dif- 
liked her own improvements) there was 
a misfortune attending it, which bailed 
even ber contrving genius. This was 
fimply its being placed juit where it was, 
and not about a mile off, in a genteeler 
partofthe town. Of edule repeat- 
ed hints, and knowing the intimate con- 
nexion between a hint and a requifition, I 
affented with good grace ; in confequence- 
of which, our prefent houfe was taken. 
Its principal recommendation, I thought, 
had been its fituation, but that was not 
the only one. It ea befides, every 
poffible negative requifite for a lady of 
my wife’s difpofition. It had not been 
tenanted for years, and therefore wanted 
many repairs. JVe had never lived init 
at all, and therefore it wanted as many 
improvements as her utmoft ftretch of 
fancy could reach, which, to her, pre- 
fented a glorious profpect. Carpenters, 
bricklayers, painters, glaziers, and ca- 
binet-makers, went to work; and as 
thefe gentlemen are not very Demons, 
even though they aff each other won- 
derfully, my wife was the happieft crea- 
ture in the univerfe, for near five months 
—and I can’t fay but ‘that I enjoyed a 
comparative flate of happinefs during 
his time, and that fortwo reatons : firft, 
I was Hoe upon the {pot, nor within hear- 
ing; and, fecondly, madam infifted, that 
I fhould not enter the doors of it until 
all was finithed, that I might be fupriz- 
ed and af founds at the fkill and tafte 
Me ee by her. 
Well, fi a behold us now feated here, 
in a capital manfion, almofi new, and 
apparently excepted from the repairing 
‘act for many years. What was there to 
Interrupt our quiet ?>—Even that which 
has ever produced the fame effeét—m 
wife’s averfion to-a life of eafe. Faults 
appeared to her critical eye, which ef- 
caped my penetration.. The fly on the 
pillar could not be more faftidious; 
hence we relapfed gradually into the 
repairing fyftem, and devoted at leaft 
fix weeks every year to this animating 
and lively bufinefs ; whena new circum- 
fiance occurred. One day, as my wife 
was 






