1796.J 
and we fhould jog on quietly enough to- 
gether, but that, of late, the has been 
pleafed to infift upon my declaring, in 
all companies, that fhe is abfolutely the 
handfomeft woman under the fun; and 
that none of my neighbours’ wives are. 
fit to hold the candle to her: and there is 
one ‘Squire Edmund, a hectoring bully- 
ing fellow; who, they fay, is a little 
eracked (a great favourite with my 
wife, notwithftanding, ever fince he has 
flattered and fpoke her fair; for it 1s not 
long ago that he ufed to be drawing 
caricatures of her) he, I fay, goes about 
every where, telling people that I cught 
to challenge any one who prefumes to 
aifert to the contrary —* Cara Sofa,” 
have I often faid to her, ‘1s it not fuf- 
ficient if I Jove thee bef, and that for 
the bef reafon, becaufe thou art my 
wite? I chofe thee freely, and am con- 
tent to be ‘to thy faults a little blind,’ 
but to be entirely fo, is neither good! for 
thee nor for me.’’—She lately made me 
fign a paper, that. fhe was, in all parts, 
ot the exaét proportions of the Venus 
di Medicis; though, heaven knows! I 
never meafured them together; and that 
not only there never was a more beau- 
tiful creature produced upon God’s 
earth, but that it was utterly impoifible 
for the imagination of man to conceive 
a more beautiful. I confels, I was a 
good deal afhamed to make {uch boafts; 
neverthelefs, | complied, for the fake of 
peace. My wife, moreover, entertains 
an idea, that every man who {fees her, 
is in love with her: and like Beli/e in 
the Feames Scavantes, the is refolved not 
to give up the point, though the beft 
compliments fhe has met with of late 
from her neighbours have been, ‘ that 
. dhe looks very well for a woman of her 
‘years ; that fhe wears well, confidering ; 
that fhe has fine remains, and that one 
may eafily fee fhe has been a handfome 
woman inher time.” Thefe are fpeeches, « 
one would think, not very apt to feed 
her vanity; yet, whenever fhe hears of 
a match that is likely to take place, the 
cannot help fancying the lover was at- 
tracted by fome remote refemblance to 
her admired perfon.. “ Yes,” fhe will 
-ery on fuch occafions, ‘* there was a tint 
of my complexion, which did the bufi- 
nefs; not fo brilliant indeed—fomething 
of my majeftic look,—and an evident 
imitation of my walk.”——With all this 
opinion of herfelf, my poor wife, efpe- 
cially of late, has been diftraétedly jealous 
of me. She is continually teafing me 
with embarrafling queftions ; as,  whe- 
Montrury Mac. No. JIL, 
Letter of Fobn Bull. 
down, my dear,” fays fhe, 
i8é 
ther I love her as well as IT didon my 
wedding-day; whether I will promife 
to love her if the fhould be blind, or de- 
crepid, or out of her wits, &c.’’—A cir- 
cumftance has occurred fately, which 
has increafed this jealoufy tenfold: My 
next-door neighbour, you muft know; 
is married again; and ever ‘fince that 
event, fhe watches me as a cat watches a 
moute. Jf cannot look out of the window; 
or enquire which way the wind fits, but 
it is in order to admire my neighbour's 
new wife. She pretends to have found 
love-letters which bave pafled between 
us; and is fure, fhe fays, [ defign to part 
with her, ** falfe-hearted man as I am;”" 
upon which, the other day, fhe threw 
herfelf into violent hyfterics, and alarmed 
the whole family and neighbourhood. | 
To be fure, the bride did fend me a fa= 
vour, which I wore in my hat, openly ; 
and I do not deny but I may have paid 
her afew compliments, and written fome 
verfes upon her, for the is a fhuwy, fine- 
fpoken woman ; but for all that, | would 
not marry her, if I were free to-morrow ; 
for, to tell you the truth, I fufpect her to 
be too much of a termagant for me; and 
befides, John Bullis net given to change. 
My wire has another failing, fir. She 
is fond of every thing that is old, becaufe 
it 7s old; and fhe never will give any rea- 
fon, except a woman’s reafon, which, you 
know, 1s ne reafon at all, for any one 
thing {ne does. If I prefume to hint, 
things might be better after a different 
fafhion, I can get no other anfwer than 
“that i is ber way—that her grand- 
mother and great-erandmother did fo 
before her; ahd that it is her maxim 
never to alter the family management.” 
I can fearcely ttir about my houfe, it is 
fo filled with heavy lumbering furniture, 
half of which is worm-eaten, and of no 
ufe but to harbour vermin; bat my wife 
cannot perfuade herfelf to part with any 
of it, fhe has fuch a refpect for a fine 
piece of antiquity; and then, fays fhe, 
* old furniture has fuch a creditable 
look!” “ So it might, my dear,” fay I, 
‘af it were allofa piece; but, youknow, | 
we are continually buying new, and: 
when one article does net fuit with an-- 
other, you muf be fenfible nothing can 
have a worfe effect. For inftance, now; 
this difmal old tapeftry, how prepofterous 
it looks along with the Indian matting 
and painted rout-chairs! I with you 
would let it come down, it it fit for no- 
thing but for the rats to play at hide and 
feek behind it.”,—« I would not have it 
‘© for the- 
world; 
