iik 
164 Evils froma Prize in the Lottery. 
ft down’ without a caution, which de- 
prived them of all eafe; and tables which 
wvere fereened, by firit laws, from the 
profane touch of a naked hand. 
Our difcoyeries had now noend. We 
found that tea was not fo hurtful to the 
nerves when drank out of a filver tea-pot, 
and, fome how or other, the milk and the 
fugar derived certain new qualities, from 
being contained in veffels of the fame me- 
tal. Thad faved fome pounds of my beft 
candles from the general fale, as Ethought 
# could ufe my own goods cheaper than 
# T bought them of a ftranger, who would 
of courte treat me like a gentleman. But 
Jack-a-day, my wife’s lungs were imme- 
diately fo afrected by the {mell of the tal- 
Jow, that E was obliged to confign my 
wares, the work of my own hands, te 
the ufe of the fervants, and order wax 
lights in their place. 
You have now feen me removed from 
Whitechapel to Palace-yard, my houfe 
new furnifhed in a fafhionable ftyle, as 
hdndfome and,as ufelels as money could 
purchafe. Ihad hopes I might now be 
at reft, and enabled to purfué my old 
plans, and was one night flepping out in 
fearch of fome friendly public-houfe, 
where I might fmoke my pipe as ufual, 
and enjoy the luxury of talking politics, 
and eating a Welth rabbit, but no fuch 
thing could be permitted. What! a man 
of my flanding fmoak tobacco! Gmoak- 
ing was a vulgar, beaftly, untfafhionable, 
vile thing. It might do very well for 
Whitechapel, or the Tower Hanilets, but 
would not be iuffered in any genteel part 
ef the world. And,-as tor cheefe, no 
cheefe was fit to be brought to table but 
Parmefan, or perhaps a little Chethire 
itewed in claret. ‘* Fie, hufpand, how 
could you think of tobacco. and Welsh 
rabbits: Iam abfolutely afhamed of you: 
at this rate we might as well have been 
living at W hitechapel.”’ 
; 2p) iis ame 
To do my wiie ,juftice; however, a 
fhe deprived me of the picafure of feeing 
company out of deors, the took care to 
provide me with a’ fufiicient number of 
wifitors. ~ There were Mitters.-and Mif- 
trefles, Mafters. and Miffes, from all part 
of St. Margarets and St. John’s parithes, 
a 
‘none of which I had the fmalleft previous 
acquaintance with ; but my wife always 
maintained, that feeing. company was the 
mark of tafhionable life, and things had 
preceeded now tco far fer me to raife ob- 
jeCtions. Indeed one day drove another out 
of my head, and I began to be reconciled 
to fafhionable life. I thoughtit mighty 
pleafant to have new furniture too coed 
for ufe, and new acquaintances of no ufe_ 
at all; to drink wines which do not agree” 
with oné’s ftomach, and to eat of difhes’ 
which one does not know the ufe of, We 
had likewife our card-parties, where my 
wife and I foon learned all the fafhionable 
games. How we played, I fhall not fay, 
but we difcovered in no long time, that it 
was not Whitechapel play. 
My two children, you may fuppofe, 
did not efcape the general metamorphofis; 
the boy was difpatched to Eton ichool, 
to be brought up with the children of 
other people of fortune, but the girl was 
kept athome to fee “fe, and a precious 
life we led. The morning was the moft 
innocent part of it, for we were then 
faft afleep; and yet, Sir, you cannot think 
how difficult it was to caft off old euf- 
toms, for I frequently awoke at fix or 
feven o’clock, and would have got up, 
had not my wife reminded me,that it was ~ 
unfathionable, and afked, “* What muft 
the fervants think?’’—Aye, Sir, and even 
fhe, with all her new quality, would 
fometimes difcover the old leaven of 
Whitechapel. One night, when a lady 
{aid fhe believed it would rain, my wife 
anfwered, perhaps it sought. Another 
time, on feeing a great man go to the 
Houfe of Lords, although-fhe had with 
her at that moment one of the firft people 
of fathion in the Broad Sanctuary, the 
exclaimed, ‘¢ There’sa go!” 
Pride, however, will have a. fall, 
Grandeur muft one day or other expire ia 
the focket. My wife was now feized with 
a very ftvange diforder, the nature of 
which I cannot better explain, than by 
faying, that fhe loft the ufe. of both ber 
feet and legs, and could not go outunlefs 
inacarriage. “This was the more extra- 
erdingry, becaufe, when at home, oreven 
cn avifit, fhe never could fit a minute in 
one place, but was perpetually ruanng 
up and down. She threw, eut broad 
hints, therefore, that a carriage muff, be 
had, anda carriage therefore was «pros 
cured; but mark the confeguences,.twe 
fervants were added to our former num- 
ber. To be fure, every. body muft have 
a coachman and fociman. -Qne-buimels 
was how, to ule our homely phraie, ‘¢.as 
good as done,’ and what little the town 
left, was fully accomplithed. by a vifit to 
Brighton, and another to Tunbridge. 
Here, Sir, is a blank im my hiftory, 
which f fhall All up no otherwife than by: 
informing you, that _I took the advantage - 
of an Infolvent at, and by theafliftance 
of fome friends, who didnot. defert me 
when I deferted them, I] am once.moxe. 
quietly 
