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248  LExtradis from the Port-folio of a Man of Letters. [ April ls 
familiar appellation of pedants, by which 
latter name they are more generally known, 
JOKE iz @ SPANISH COMEDY 
During ‘the abfence of his phyfician, 
the fervants of an invalid gentleman are 
introduced as prefcrihing to their mafter. 
‘They find that the difcafe of the patient 
arifes from eating too much of a bare, 
and ingenioufly order him to take a mefs 
of greyhound broth. 
BON MOT of VOLTAIRE. 
A man of learning was complaining to 
Voltaire, that few foreigners relifhed the 
beauties of Shakefpeare. Sir, replied’ the 
wit, bad tranflations torment and vex 
them, and prevert their underftanding 
your great dramatift. A blind man, Sir, 
cannot conceive the beauty of a rofe, who 
only pricks his fingers with the thorns. 
BON MOT againfi VOLTAIRE. 
When on the fubieét of Voltaire’s ab- 
furd tranflation, and abufe of many paf- 
fages in Shakefpedre, the inconfiftency of 
the Frenchman’s condu& was arraigned in 
converfation, a man of wit obferved, that 
Woltaire aéted as fome highwaymen do, 
rob firft, and then find fafety in murder- 
ing their prey. 
AID f@ CONFESSION. 
A Portuguefe cobier ufed to beat his 
wife moit unmercifully a few days before 
his attendance onhis¢onieflur. A neigh- 
bour remonftrated on his cruelty, and in- 
quired into the caufe of it. Why, fays 
the cobler, I ama great finner, but have 
a very fhort memory, fothat I fhould jor- 
get many of my fins did I not beat my 
wite regularly before confeffion ; and then 
3 am fure that fhe will put me in mind of 
every one of them. 
RETORT UNCOURTEOUS. 
A bas-blue lady, who was extremely 
ugly, became editor of the works of a 
man of genius, deceafed, with whom the 
had Jong been acquainted. On entering 
this office the defireda man of wit to write 
a preface to the book, and exculpate her 
from any improper connecticn with the 
deceafed writer, as fhe had herd that fuch 
reports prevailed. ‘* Madam,” fays the 
wag, indignant at her vanity, ‘¢ intiead of 
fuch a preface, afhx your vilage be/ore 
the work.” ; 
" REPARTEE of LORD CHESTERFIELD. 
Some one obferving to Lord Cheiter- 
field that the French were a more polite 
people than the Englif, he befitated 
yery much: the obferver continved to 
corroborate his opinion by adding, My 
Jord, the Englifh confefs it themielves. 
Nay, then, returned the Peer, that con- 
feffion proves the Englifh fuperior in po- 
litenefs. ) 
AN EQUIVOCAL DEFENCE. 
An avthor, as too often happens, was 
very irritable in his difpofition, and very 
unfortuyate in his productions. His tra- 
gedy and comedy had both been rejected 
by the managers of both theafres. I 
cannot account for this, faid the unfortu- 
nate bard to his friend; for no one can 
fay that my tragedy was a fad perform- 
ance, ar that my comedy was a thing to 
laugh at. \ 
A SCHOLAR better than her MASTER. 
A pedagogue, who not being contented 
with the character of a learned, afpired to 
that of a facetious perfon, afked a lady of 
vivacity what gender mater (mother) was. 
If you mean mine, replied the youth, fhe 
1s, undoubtedly, of the feminine gender ; 
if you afk me about your own, I thould 
fay, without hefitation, common. 
A FATAL DiSORDER. 
What did Mr. —die of? afked a 
fimole neighbour. Of a complication of 
diforders, replied his triend. How do 
you defcribe this complication, my good 
Sir? He died, rejomed the other, of two 
phylicians, an apothecary, aid a furgeon. 
A DOCTRINE WELL-DEFENDED. 
A preacher had held forth diffuiely and 
ingenioufly upon the doctrine that. the 
Creator of the univerfe had made all things 
beautiful. A little crooked lawyer met 
him at the church door, and exclaimed, 
Well, Dogter, whatdo you think of my 
figure ; does it correfpond with your tenets 
of this morning? My friend, replied the 
preacher, with much gravity, you are 
handfome, for an hunch-backed man. 
BON MOT. 
A lady of eafy virtue declared, before 
fome friends, that fhe continued her pro- 
fefiion in order to amafs money fofficient 
to enable her to enter fome reiigious houfe: 
Madam, replied aman of wit, your con- 
duct reminds me of the praéiice of water- 
men, who purfue their way to the place 
of their deftination with their backs turned . 
towards it. 
A PUN uttered by MARSHAL TURENNE, 
Grea! men have net unfrequently con- 
defcended to play on words: Cicero, 
Shakefpeare, Julius Cafar, &c. The 
French General, defcribing a cowardly 
cficer, obferved, that of the faculties of 
the human mind Capt. —— pofleffed but 
one, and that was apprehen/in. 
, rit A TURKISH 
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