\ 
148 
EDWARD» 
The curfe of hell frae me fhall ye beir,* 
Mither, mither 5 
The curfe of hell frae me fhall ye beir, 
Sic counfeils ye gied me, O!F 
ae 
A NOREGAY, 
A SIMILE FOR REVIEWERS. 
By tHE rate Rev. LAURENCE STERNE. 
The following exquifite, and hitherto unpub- 
lithed piece of humour, was written at a 
time when the Critical Revicw maintained 
a fecondary rank in literature: but notwith- 
ftanding the prefent degraded and decrepid 
ftate of | that journal, this piece deferves to 
_ be preferved for its own merits, and for the 
fake of its illuftrious author. It will be 
agreed by every man of fenfe, honour, and 
learning, that the Critical Review of the 
prefent day is altogether beneath contempt 5 
and its declining fale and credit during 
many years paft render it probable that it 
may foon ceafe to exift. Charity forbids it, 
therefore, that fo keen a fatire thould be 
confidered as intended to apply to the pub- 
lication at a time when it may, for aught I 
know, be writhing perhaps in the agonies 
of impending diffolution. SENEX. 
E overfeers and reviewers 
Of all the Mufes’ finks and fewers, 
Who dwell on high, 
Enthroned among your peers, 
* - The garretteers, 
That border on the iky ; 
Who hear the mufic of the fpheres : 
You have fuch ears, 
And live fo high ; 
I thank you for your criticifm, 
Which you have ufhered in 
With a delightful witticifm, 
That taftes like rotten fruit preferved in gin. 
And therefore marvel not‘that my two bal- 
lads, 
Which are but like two fallads, 
By no means fuit, 
Like your fruit, 
With your palates. 
I do admire your dealings, 
To fpeak according to your feelings ; 
And do believe, if you had withal, 
You would drop honey ; 
And that you overflow with gall, 
Becaufe you do not overflow with money. 
Hence all your fpite 
Agzainft a poor connundrumite, 
Whofe only bufinefs is to watch 
Where the connundrums lie, 
And be upon the catch 
As they go by 5 
‘To make a fimile in no feature 
Refembling the creature 
That he has in his eye ; 
Juft as a fither fhoots an owl, © 
Cr a fea-fowl, 
To make the likenefs of a fly ; 
* The curfe of hell from me fhall you bear. 
~ Such couniels you gave me. 
Original Poetry. 
. And fo he made an excellent award, 
{March I, 
Juft as you look into the fire 
For any likenefs you defire. 
Simile-making 
Is an undertaking, 
In which the undertaker 
Refembles a marriage-contra&t maker=s 
A poor induflrious man, 
Who means no ill, 
But does the beft he can 
With a quill ;— 
In fhort, he does according to his fill: 
If matters can be Broudht: to bear - 
So as to tie the “knot, 
He does not care 
Whether thev are a happy pair or not. 
And, as I faid at firit, 
Nothing could make you all fo keen 
And cruft, 
But that which makes you all fo lean—< 
. Hunger and thirft. 
So now and then a judge 
Configns a wretch 
To Mafter Ketch, 
Having no grudge ; 
No reafon clear can be affigned, 
Only, like you, he has not dined. 
So far from wifhing your allowance fhorter, 
I with, for all your fakes, 
That you may never want beef-fteaks 
And porter 5 
- And for your feels 
A dram of Britifh fpirits. 
And fo I leave you with a fable, mie 
Defigned, without a fneer, 
To exhilarate your table, 
And give a relifh to your beer. 
I beg my compliments to all your ladiesy 
T he reviewer-efies. 
Hark ! 
And, if you pleafe, take warning. 
My fable is concerning 
A cuckoo and a lark. 
If I faid a nightingale, 
You would have cried, 
(You could not fail,) 
That it was pride, - 
And nought befide, 
Which made me think of fuch a tale. 
Upon a tree as they were fitting, 
They fell into a warm difpute, 
Warmer than was fitting, 
Which of them was the better flute. 
After much prating, 
And debating, 
Not worth relating, 
Things came to fuch a pafs, 
They both agree 
To take an afgs 
For referee : 
The afs was ftudying botany and erat 
Under the tree. 
What do you think was the decree ?— 
‘* Why,” fays the afs, ‘¢ the queftion is nog 
hard :” 
As ycu fhall fee. 
‘¢ The lark,” fays he, 
‘¢ Has got a wild iantattic pipe, 
But no more mufic than a {nipe 5 
