1804.] 
Gn your feat till nine o’clock; and that, 
a 
befide two hours play after dinner: then 
inftead of walking home, which would 
have beitirred you a lictle, you ftept into 
your carriage. How abfurd to fuppofe 
that all this careleffnefs can be reconcile- 
able to good health without my interpofi- 
tion! . » 
Mr. Franklin.—Now ¥ am convinced 
of the jultne(s of Poor Richard’s remark, 
that, ** Our debts and our fins are always 
greater than we think for.” 
Gout. —So it is! you philofophers are 
fages in their maxims, and fools in their 
conduct. 
Mr. Franklin —But do you charge 
among my crimes that I return ina car- 
riage trom Mr. B—’s. 
Gout. —Certainly : for having been feat- 
ed all the while, you cannot object the 
faticue of the day, or want the indulgence 
of a carriage. 
Mr. Frankliz.—How would you advile 
me then to employ my carriage? 
Gout.—Burn it if you choofe; you 
would at leafi set heat out of it once in 
this way; or, if you reje& this propofal, 
here’s another for you: take notice of the 
poor peafants who work the vineyards 
and grounds about the villages of Pafley, 
Auteuil, Chaillois, 8c. you may daily 
among thefe defe:ving creatures, find four 
ot five-old men and women, bent and 
perhaps crippled under the weight of 
years, and by overftraining and too long 
continued labour. Thefe people after a 
moft fatiguing day, have to trudge a mile 
or two to their {mokey huts. Order your 
coachman to fet them down. See, there’s 
an act for you, of importance to the 
good of your fowl; and at the fame time, 
after your vifit to the B—’s, if you return 
on foot, that will be good for your body. 
Mr. Franklin. —Ab! how fatiguing you 
ares 
Gouzt.—Let us return to my office; It 
fhould be remembered, I am your phy- 
fician. 
Mr. Franklin. —Obhh!—the devil of a 
phyfician ! 
Gout.—What an ungrateful man are 
you to fay fo,! Is it not I, in the character 
of your phylician, who have faved you from 
the palfy, the dropfy, and apoplexy ? one 
of other of which would have’ done for 
you long ago but for me. 
Mr. Franklin —I1 fabmit, and thank 
you for the paft, but intreat the difconti- 
nuance of your vilits for the future: for 
in my mind ove had better die, than be. 
cured fo dolefully. Permit me, Madam 
Gout, ju tohint that [I have not been 
Account of Kirkbyftephen, in Weftmoreland. 
{03 
unfriendly to you-—I never feed phyfician 
or quack of any kind to enter the lift 
againft you: if then you don’t leave me 
to my repofe, it may be faid you are un- 
grateful too. 
Gout.—I {carcely acknowledge that as 
any objection. As to quacks, I defpife 
them: they may kill you, indeed, but 
cannot affect me. And as to regular pby~ 
ficians, they are at lait convinced; that the 
gout, in fuch a fubject as you are, 1s ro 
malady, but a remedy: and wherefore 
cure a remedy?—but to our bufinels— 
There— 
Mr. Frankliz.—Oh! Oh!—for Heavens” 
fake quit; and I promife faithfully never 
more to play chefs, but to exercife daily, 
and live temperately. 
Gout.—1 know you too well.—You 
promife fair; but, after a few months of 
good health, you'll return to your old hae 
bits: your fine promifes will be forgot 
like the forms of the laft year’s clouds. 
Come, then; we'll finifh the account. 
Bat I leave you with an affurance of vi- 
fiting you again at a proper time and 
place; for your good is my object: ard 
you are now fentible that I am your real 
friend. 
== 
For the Monthly Magazine. 
ACCOUNT of the PARISH Of KIRKBY- 
STEPHEN, iz the COUNTY of WEST- 
MORELAND. 
eats parifh and town of Kirkbyfte- 
pnen are faid to derive their name 
from the church being dedicated to St. 
Stephen. The parifh is of very confider~ 
able extent, being eleven or twelve miles 
from north to touth, and feven or eight 
from eaft to weit ; and its form, though in 
fome refpetts irregular, molt nearly re- 
fembles that of a parallelogram, It is 
fituated in the barony of Wettmoreland, 
and in the deanery of Carlifle ; and is 
bounded on the eaft by the parifhes of 
Brough and Bowes; on the fouth, by the’ 
parifhes of Grinton, Aifgarth, and Sed- 
bergh, in the county of York’; on the 
welt, by the parifhes of Sedbergh, Raven- 
ftonedale, and Crofbygarret ; and on the 
north by the parithes of Crofbygarret, 
Mufgrave, and Brough. 
‘The face of the country ts in many 
parts, broken and uneven. On the fouth 
ftands Whid-bore-fell, which is faid to 
have been fo denominated from its being 
formerly much frequented by wild boars, 
and which is probably the higheft mgun- 
tain in the county, not even excepting 
Crofstell, It is {urrounded by a few 
Pz others 
