30 
The Young Folks. 
Actions and Words. 
Here’s a sentiment worthy to keep in 
your mind 
As you travel through life, for it’s true 
you will find. ; 
That you’re not so much yalued by what 
you may say 
As by what you may do in a practical 
< Way ; 
For unless you perform what you say 
you can do 
Grave doubts will arise that your’e honest 
and true. 
Though your voice may be sweet as the 
song of the birds, 
Remember that actions speak louder 
than words. 
Nor would I discourage the message that 
cheers, ; 
Or the prayers, or the blessings of sym- 
pathy’s tears ; 
' They are always in order, they help in 
their way 
To hasten the dawn of millennial day. 
But a little more gold sandwiched in 
with your prayers 
Would banish more tears and lighten 
‘more cares. 
Though your voice be as swees as the 
song of the birds, 
Remember that actions speak 
than words, 
louder 
Conundrums. 
! 
What is the difference between the 
bark of a tree and the bark of a dog? 
One is the bark of a bough, and the other 
is the bark of of a bow-wow, ~ | 
What isthe jifference between a cow 
and a rickety chair? The one gives milk,: 
and the other gives way. 
Why is the centre of a tree like a dog’s 
tail? Because it is farthest from the 
tbark. 
What is it that is round and sound, 
and ju t a pound, and yet does not weigh 
an ounce? A sovereign. 
What is that which went to the North 
Pole and stopped there, and came away 
because it could not go there? A watch. 
Why should a sparrow. be offended 
if you were to call him a pheasant ?— 
Because he would not like to be made 
‘game of, 
If a king kiss a queen and a queen kiss 
a king, what public building in Adelaide 
will it represent ?—Th6 Koyal Exchange. 
When if a chair not a chair ?2—When : 
it is a rocker, 
THE AUSTRALIAN GARDENER. 
Dreams. 
PLEASANT AND UNPLEASANT, 
By a Dreamer. 
It’s really astonishing what a lot of 
useful knowledge one can gain in the 
short space of a quarter of an hour. 
Just 15 ininutes ago I was appallingly 
ignorant on the subject of dreams, and 
now—well, ’m merely crammed, I’m 
brimming over with useful information 
concerning them, and I can’t rest happily 
until l’ve presented to the world some 
_ of my superflous knowledge. 
Dyou fellows dream? What do you 
dream about? D’you want to know 
whether your dreams are lucky or un- 
lucky? Then consult me! Eh? No! 
there’s no charge. I’ve a little penny 
handbook on the-subject, which is a mine 
of information, and this vast reference 
library is at your disposal at any time. 
What are your favourite adventures in 
the Land of Nod? ° 
D’you like to dream that you're doing 
wonderful things in the world of sport, 
or would you prefer to gaina‘V.C/’ in 
some terrific struggle? Do you care to 
find» yourself wallowing in luxury ata 
gorgeous banquet, or would you rather 
see yourself as a magnificent monarch ? 
Are your chief interests centred on the 
sea, or do you prefer fame on land? 
However peculiar may be your types 
of dream, a reference to my little book 
will tell you what they portend. 
Like most good things in this world, 
however, the Dream Book, on close 
acquaintance, becomes a little disapoint- 
ing, and one finds that most of the 
pleasant visions threatens dire disaster 
forthe dreamer, while the very un- 
~pleasant ones often promise luck. I 
have, however, an important piece of 
preliminary information for my reader 
who is subject to dreams. Don’t dream 
about food! 
Most visions in which food occurs are 
interpreted very gravely by the ‘ re- 
searchers and philosophers’ quoted in my 
volume. 
Starting with popular delicacies, Sour 
Apples, I read that, if these are being 
eaten in a dream, it signifies much sorrow 
and unhappiness. Sampling sour apples 
in real life often has a similar effect, T 
wish to claim that I discovered this latter 
‘fact long before the publieation of my 
Dream Book: 
Todream of Bacon is even more un- 
fortunate, for it denotes not only the 
death of some friend or relation, but in 
addition, enemies will endeavour to do 
you a mischief. So that if any of my 
Young Folks are in the middle ofa 
dream about{bacon, it would be decidedly 
advisable for you to switch your thoughts 
on to some other subject—even sour 
apples, though, if you can conveniently 
do so, it would be infinitely better to | 
think of Barley Bread, for this ‘ betokens 
health and great comfort to the dreamer.’ 
‘ for you. 
November 2, 1908 
Yon could, therefore, have quite a 
‘varied and comfortable time by starting 
your dream with sour apples, and wind- 
lug up with a vision of barley bread, from 
which you would wake up with the 
knowledge that great comfort is in store 
D’you ever dream of eating Beans ? 
Tf so, don’t do it again, unless you 
want quarrelling and discord to loom 
ahead. 
Beef is equally unfortunate as a sub- 
ject for a vision, as it portends the death 
of « friend—especially, I presume, if the. 
beef happens to be of the + tinned pto- 
maine’ brand, and to hail from Chicago, 
Beetroot is a safe subject, as it augurs 
freedom from trouble, while Cake and 
Cheese are equally satisfactory. A cake 
dream means profit and joy for you, 
while cheese indicates profit only. 
As to Hating generally. To dream you 
see others eating is of very little benefit. 
to you, but if you dream that you are 
asked to join the little party, and to par- 
take of those things you like best, ‘ some 
relief, perhaps, will follow, my book 
agsures you. 
So be sure, if you sea a nice little 
supper party ina dream, to get an invi- 
. tation, even though you have to bribe a 
waiter. 
To dream of Leeks is ‘a sign of 
poverty, if you are not careful, while the 
eating of Lemons implies a ‘severe and 
long-continued disposition, which will 
most likely prove fatal to the dreamer.’ 
The vision interpreter, in this instance 
obviously intended to write ‘indisposi- 
tion,’ but to save any argument on the 
subject, we will decide.not to dream of 
lemons, if you don’t mind. 
Dream of Puddings, by all means, for 
as a result, you will have a quiet life. 
But, don’t let the puddings be made of 
rice; to dream of rice foretells ‘ abund.- 
ance of instruction,’ and the average boy, 
convinced that he has already quite 
enough to go on with, is not likely to be 
silly asto dream hard about rice in the 
hope that more hardships will be inflicted 
on him. 
So youll see that you can’t be too 
careful in selecting the refres hments you 
sample during a dream, and I should 
advise the reader who wants 'to be certain 
cfa very happy future to make a list of 
those foods which foretell all sorts of good 
luck, and commit them to memory,— 
* Boy’s Own Paper.’ 
Se SO EE 
Oh, would I were a sailor bold!’ 
Said Fluffy Chick, in boastful way, 
‘And on the back of Master Quack 
He travelled o’er the pond one day, 
‘In this new sailor hat of mine: 
(Which suits my beauty to a T) 
I look in just the very trim 
To sail across the deep blue sea.’ 
Said Master Quack, with knowing look 
(‘ Twas really rather smart of him !)? 
* Before you are a sailor bold, 
1 think you’d better learn to swim !’ 
