24. 
WIT AND HUMOR. 
‘Have you noticed,’ said a clubman, ‘that 
poets almost invariably refer to the earth 
as ‘she?’ Why should the earth be con- 
sidered feminine?’ ; 
‘Perhaps because nobody knows just 
how old it is!’ rejoined a fellow-mem- 
ber. 
* 
# ae * 
Two village worthies were discussing a 
mooted point in grammar as to whether 
a hen ‘sits’ or ‘sets’ when she takes to her 
nest, ‘ 
‘Seems to me it’s aheap more im- 
portant,’ interrupted a bystanding farmer, 
‘whether she ‘lays’ or -lies’ when she 
cackles.’ 
* 
Parr arr ee 
Mrs. Von Blumer—‘Dear, Dear, [ 
dropped my diamond ring off my finger 
this morning,and I can’t find it any- 
where’. 
Von Blumer—‘You needn’t worry, dear. 
It’s all right. I came across it in one of 
my trousers pockets.’ 
ae aa 
Footpad—‘Fork over your money, now, 
or I'll blow your brains out!’ 
Whoopler—‘Blow away, my dear 
fellow! A chap can get along in New York 
without brains, but he cannot without 
money.’ 
* ok OK OK 
* KR K * 
‘If you’and me your bag, madam,’ 
said an obliging cabman, I'll put it on 
top.’ 
‘No, thank you.” answered the lady 
getting into the vehicle; ‘your poor horse 
has quite enough to drag asitis- Vl take 
the bag on my knees?’ 
Co £3 
Fe 
‘Well’? remarked the comedian, who 
had been promised a small part after 
being idle half the season, ‘even a small 
role is better than a whole loaf.” 
a a a oes 
ar ar ar aaraar 
‘Talking of ants,’ said an American 
casually, ‘we’ve got ’em big as lobsters 
out West. I guess I’ve seen ’em fight 
with long thorns, which they used as 
lances, charging each other like wild 
savages.’ 
‘They don’t compare with the ants I 
saw in the Hast,’ remarked a listener. 
<The n tives have trained ’em as_ beasts 
of burden, One of ’em could trail a ton 
load for miles with ease. They worked 
willingly, but occasionally they turned on 
their attendents and killed them!’ 
‘I say, friend, what sort of ants were 
they? »sked the first speaker. 
‘Eleph-ants!’ was the reply. 
Kk KK Ok 
OK Rk 
She—*Putting a pin in the cushion of 
a seat is an old joke,’ 
He—But it hasn’t lost its point yet. 
THE AUSTRALIAN GARDENER. 
CKO. TAPI 
Veterinary Surgeon, 
Horse Mouth Specialist, 
28 years Victorian Practice. 
OPERATIONS PERFORMED. 
ALL DISEASES TREATED. 
249 Rundle St., Adelaide. 
TELEPHONE 1,654. 
Bagot, Shakes, 
& Lewis, Ltd., 
STOCK AND STATION AGENTS. 
Wool, Skin and Hide Rrokers, 
Auctioneers and Valuators, 
Licensed Land Brokers, Loan 
And Estate Agents, 
Land Department have for Sale -- 
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Also in Westera Australia, New South 
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Properties sold privately or by auction 
in all parts of tbe State of South 
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Large Estates disposed of for Closer 
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Advice given as to Best Means of 
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Plans Prepared. Valuations Made. 
Special attention given to City and 
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Persons wanting Houses cannot do 
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18 King 
M. L. Tomlinson, 
(LATE J. G. ORAM), 
Manufacturing Jeweller, 
Watchmaker, 
Diamond Setter & Engraver. 
Repairs to Watches, Clocks, and Jewellery 
of every description accurately, artis tically 
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27 Grenfell St., Adelaide. 
April 1, 1909 
Most Artistic 
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ENGRAVINGS, 
eee, 
AN UNLIMITED STOCK TO 
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The 
fe" Very Reasonable Prices. A. 
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Always in Season. 
“Boshter” Beer, 
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finest hops grown, matured in our cellars, 
A SPLENDID TABLE or SUPPER BEER 
Cased and sent all over the State. 
Awarded Two First Prizes, Adelaide, 
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TEL, 76. 
Go to the 
Dimond Studies 
kor Good Work and Up-to-dato Photo- 
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POST CARDS from 5s per doz. 
PARIS PANELS, {5s per doz, 
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ottered. 
tet 
Nore Appriss— 
DIMOND BROS.,_ 
150 Rundle Street. 
— 
