36 
WIT AND HUMOR. 
— 'l'oo Personai. — 
In one of the large cilies a street-car 
collice | with a milk-cart, and sent can after 
can of milk splashing into the street. Sooa 
a large crowd gatheied. A very short man 
coming up had to stanton tipt» to se- 
past a stout woman in froit of Lim, 
“Goodness!” he exclainesl. “What an 
awful waste!’ 
The stout woman turned round, and 
glared at the litsle inan, and said, sternly 
—‘‘Mind your own business!” 
* OK 
* 
oe, * OK OK 
Par 
— Made a Miss. — 
School Teacher (exanininy class—) 
* What is the meaning of ‘miss 
Small Boy (after few seconds’ deep 
thought)—‘Please mum, you’re oue.’ 
yo? 
Teacher —‘Yes, but can’t you give ine a 
better answer than that?’ 
Boy—‘ A woman that cinna get a man, 
mum.’ 
Tableau 
* OK OK OK 
*e * * * 
— Nasty, - 
Dora: ‘‘I often wish Providence had 
made me a man. ” 
Cora: ‘‘ Perhaps he has—enly you have- 
n’t found him. 
*** 
are a 
— Exper Information, — 
Johnnie (to new visitor)—‘So you are 
my grandma. are you?” 
Graudma—“ Yes, Johnnie. 
grandma on your father’s side, 
Johnnie—* Well, you’re on {the wrong 
side, yeu'll find that out,” 
* 
Uae bAed eet 
I’m your 
— Expected a Stery. — 
A professor was entertaining a group of 
undergraduates at his residence one night 
and during a space of silence he took down 
and brandished a magnificent sword that 
hung over his fireplace. 
“T shall never forget,” he said, *‘ the 
day £ drew this blade for the first time.” 
Where did you draw it, sir?” a fresh- 
man asked, respectfully. 
“At a raffle,” 
solemnly, 
said the professor, 
THE AUSTRALIAN GARDENER. 
May, 1910. 
— Not the Way She Meant. — 
Linda—“ Would your husband leave you 
much if he were to die 2” 
Florrie—* Not much more than now. 
He leaves me six nights out of the week 
as it is. 
* KK OK OK OK 
* Kk OK * 
— Pocket Surprises, — 
The son of an American farmer went to 
Engla~d to learn the agricultural methods 
of the country, but wherever he went he 
found it easier to teach thau to learn. 
“Tve got an idea,” he said one day to an 
old Yorkshire farmer, “fora new kind of 
fertilizer, which will be ten thousand times 
as effertive as any that has ever been tried 
up to now, . Condensed fertiliser, that’s 
what it is, and enough for an acre of 
ground will go into one of my waistcoat 
pockers,” 
“Don’t doubt it.” said the veteran of the 
soil; “and, what’s mcre, you'll be able to 
put the crop into the other pocket.” 
* 
ph * pete 
— Boy Sausages. — 
The ever-burning question, “What shall 
we do with our boys?” seems to be satisfact- 
orily answered in the following advertise- 
went, which appears in the window of a 
butcner’s shop ; “Wanted, a respectable boy 
for beef sausages, 
OK OK ok * 
* OK OK Pa 
— One to the Recruit. — 
He was the rawest of recruits, and the 
seryeant, who could not do anything with 
him, was out of all patience. At last the 
sergeant shouted, “I say, what is your 
head on for ?” 
“ Why to keep my collar from slipping 
off,” was the ready retort. 
o* 
# ee 
— What it Ran Him Into. — 
Hinks: ‘ Yes, I should like a motor- 
car, but they are too expensive. Now, 
what did that one run you into P” 
Jinks : “ Well, up to now, two bicycles, 
five dogs, four children, a haystack, six 
carts, and a lawsuib. 
** KKK 
KOK kK 
Tillie—‘*So you think love is like a 
photographic plate? Why ?” 
George—“ Because it needs a dark room 
to develop it,” 
Furniture Manufacturer 
and Repairer, 
Locksmith, Saw Sharpener 
Carpets Cleaned and Relaid. 
All work artistically and promptly 
executed, 
Country orders attended to on shortest 
notice. 
Charges moderate. A trial solicited. 
20 Hanson Street, Adelaide. 
The Most Artistic 
House for 
PICTURE FRAMES, 
MOULDINGS, 
ENGRAVINGS, Ete. 
AN UNLIMITED STOCK TO 
CHOOSE FROM. 
wee" Very Reasonable Prices. A 
Trial Solicited, 
_E. A. HUNT, 
30 Gawler Place, opp. Y.M.C.A 
Go to the 
Dimend sbudiss 
For Good Work and Up-to-dato Photo- 
graphs, which include 
POST CARDS from 5s per doz. 
PARIS PANELS, 15s per doz. 
CABINETS from 10s 6d per doz., in- . 
cluding a beautiful enlargement 12 x 10. 
BRIDAL GROUPS & FAMILY GROUPS. 
Our Picture Frames.are the Best and 
Cheapest in the City for Artistic Mouldings, 
and an unlimited supply of colored Plates, 
Engravings, Etchings, etc,, at the most 
Reasonable and Ridiculous Prices ever 
offered. 
Nore Apprzss— 
DIMOND BROS., 
150 Rundle Street. 
eC 
