- October 1, 1909 
—Anything Rather ‘Than— 
Knicker— Gassolene says he must cut 
down expenses. Can’t afford to support a 
wife and five children and keep a motor-car 
Soing any longer.’ 
Bocker—‘ Cau’t he get some of his friends 
to adopt the children?’ 
a eK eK K 
* #K * 
— They had Vet, — 
Young Man (on being introduced. to 
adored one’s mother): ‘Pardon me, madam 
but have we not met before? Your face 
Seems strangely familiar.’ 
Adored One’s Mother: ‘Yes; 1 am the 
Woman who s‘ood up before you for three 
miles on a tramear the other day, while you 
‘Sat reading the paper.’ 
* Kk KK KOK 
* * * * * 
— The Motto. — 
The Magistrate - ‘ With what instrument 
or article did your wife inflict these wounds 
°n your face and head?’ « 
Michael Mooney—‘ Wid a motto, yer 
anner,’ 
The Magistrate—‘ A what?’ 
Michael Mooney—‘ A motto—wan of 
those frames wid ‘Hivin Bliss Our Home’ in 
Mt’ 
pit xg Pare 
— At the Pumps. — 
Wayward Hobbs—‘I used ter be a 
milkman, lady ; after that I wuz a sailor.’ 
Mrs, Handout—‘ Quite a difference of 
Vocations,’ 
Wayward Hobbs—‘ Oh, I don’t know. On 
thy first voyage I wuz at the pumps most 
Sf the time.’ 
* * ok 
Parr 
—A Tall Story. —° 
An American, visiting Dublin, told some t 
Startling stories of the height of New York 
Skyscrapers. 
‘Ye hayen’t seen our newest hotel, have 
ye? asked an Irishman, 
‘No,’ replied the Yankee. 
‘Well, said the Irishman, ‘it’s so tall 
that We have to put the two top storeys on 
inges,’ 
“What for?’ asked the American. 
“So that we can let’em down while the — 
Mon goes by! said Pat. 
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