June, 1910. 
THE AUSTRALIAN GARDENER. 
87 
A 
ee 
' Om 
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Dogs are better judges uf men than men 
are of dogs. 
If a man is incompetent, l.e charges it to 
hard luck. 
It’s the most promising young man that 
gets into debt. 
A smart baby is one that does its sleep- 
ing during the night. 
The baide is given away atthealtar, and 
occasionally tha groom issold. 
A headache the morning after is respon- 
sible for many a good resolution. 
Some liars are so interesting that we are 
sorry when we can’t believe them. 
The man who has nothing to sell gener- 
ally has a stock of advice to give away. 
A sure way to be robbed of your guod 
name is to place it on your umbrella. 
Kisses may now be sent by wire, but it 
is more satisfactory to go yourself. 
Generally the most bitter medicine is the 
best. Itis the same with experience. 
It isn’t necessary to pump some people 
in order to get out of them all they knew. 
Many claim to be fond of poetry, but we 
never see a volume with the cover worn off, 
When a boy comes from his first year at 
college, he isashamed of the ignorance ef 
his parents. 
A good reason why so many are not 
so wicked as others is because they don’t 
have as good a chance, 
Many are so attached to their home that 
rather than give it up they spike it down 
with a mortage. 
Costa Rica is said to be the married man’s 
paradise, ‘There isn’ta millinery store in 
all of that country. 
Some men are poor because they are 
honest and others are honest because they 
are rich and can afford to be. 
There is one good thing about widow’s 
weeds—they rarely interfere with the 
growth of orange blossoms on the same 
hill, 
A new husbund should listen to his wife 
and do as he thinks best until they get 
well acquainted, and find out which is the 
** boss.” 
When a man makes up his mind never to 
-run anymore to catch a train, he has taken 
the first step towards becoming a philos- 
opher, : 
KE A LONG 
The first hard work a boy does is to 
smoke. 
A scientist says that rockimg chairs make 
people deaf and near sighted, He -has 
evidently observed two persons occupying 
the same rocker. 
‘There isa slizht difference between a 
man and a camel—acamel cau work eight 
doys without drinking, and a man can 
drink eight days without working. 
A young man’ was fined for kissing a 
girl ‘‘ in the face of her protest.” If he 
had kissed her where he ought, she would 
have not prosecuted him. No girl likes to 
be kissed in the wrong place. 
A matematician s1ys that an engaged couple 
onan averages have 360,000 kisses. This is 
appalling, and the way for a lever to escape 
such a tendious thing is to get married in 
a hurry : this will generally stop kissing in 
great quantities. 
* KK 
* OK ty 
ANOTHER AMATEUR GARDENER, 
Boy—“ Please will you give me some 
trouser patterns for father tosee ?” 
Shop Assistant—“ Certainly; what kind 
does your father prefer ?” 
Boy—‘‘ Oh, father is notat all particular 
as to the patterns, so long as they are 
strong encugh to hold up our creeper.” 
{Indignation on the part of the assistant 
can better be imagined than described, 
* 
1 
Poor Pa! 
A simple-minded youth was driving along 
a bush road with a cart piled high with hay 
Just opposite.a house by the roadside a 
wheel came off. and the load of hay topped 
over on to the track. The owner of the 
house came out to see what was the 
matter, : 
“That's a bad job,” said he to the driver, 
who was sadly surveying the mess. 
“Yes,” said he, and added, ‘‘ Pa will be 
mad.” 
“Never mind,” said the other. “Come in 
and have adrink and we will fix it up.” 
The young man hesitated, but at last 
went in, remarking once more, ‘My! Pa 
will be mad,” 
After a few drinks and. a smoke they 
sallied forth to put matters right, the 
youth ejaculating once more’as he gazed at 
Be wreck...“ My word! Pa will be 
ma a L* 
“Oh, never. mind pa,” said the other’ 
“he isn’t here.” 
“Dunno so much about that,” said the 
son, “* He was riding on top,” 
* 
ad ars 
A Rassit YARN. 
Some few years ago a certain light 
house keeper near Yarmouth, on getting 
settled, thought it would be advantageous 
to him to turn a bit of the sand warren at- 
tached to the premises into a vegetable 
garden. Accordingly he set to work, and 
having delved it into the semblance of a 
garden patca, proceeded to plant it. For 
the first few days the young ‘vegetables 
promised jo flourish in their new qnarters, 
and the “bunnies” on the adjacent warren 
had not got over their surprise and the 
fear of committing trespass. But one 
morning the light-house-keeper came to his 
garden to find that something in the nature 
of a blight, had visited one corner during 
the night. Somewhat, puzzled, he replanted 
the ground, but next night more of-his 
tender vegetabies vanished, and he was 
still further puzzled. He dug, manured, 
and planted again, but with’ like result. 
He asked the village folx, who smiled, and 
naturally suggested rabbits. The keeper 
watched and found it was 30. He'com- 
plained to the lord of the manor and asked 
him to keep off the rabbits. 
“Tf you wish to grow greenstuffs,” said 
the lord of the manor, *‘ fence your garden 
in yourself.” 
This the keeper did not see his way to 
do, but set-to work.on a much harder if less 
expensive plan. He dug a trench two feet 
wide and three feet in depth all round the 
garden, hoping that it would be a sufficient 
barrier against the marauding rodents, 
One mornafter he had completed his trench 
he visited it, and to his great surprise 
found a large number of rabbits prisoners 
therein. They had got it but could net 
get out, These he managed to kill and 
find a market for, ; es 
“All right!” said the lighthouse-keeper, 
“this’ll'do! it’s better than a fence,” 
And he managed to dispose of 700 rabbits 
before the lord of the manor discovered his 
loss, and the cause of the cessation of com- 
plaints. The lord was one day surveying 
his warren when he espied the keeper act- 
ing in a strange and excited manner, and 
came up the edge of the trench. ‘Why 
man! What's this?” he gasped. “You're 
clearing my warren ?” : 
“T'm content,” replied the lighthouse 
keeper, still knocking rabbits on the head, 
as he pushed a big box in front of him and _ 
stowing the rabbits in ashe went, “If 
you want to keep the rabbits, you’d better 
fence them in !” 
And so the lord of the manor did, for he 
immediately ordered some rolls . of wire: 
netting, burying three feet of it below the 
surface, and raising it several feet above, 
all round the garden. 
LL LLC, 
OMMERCIAL AND ORNAMEN- 
TAL PRINTING of every descrip- 
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notice, and at cheapest rates, at the 
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