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FOR NOVEMBER. 
Copyright 1910 by C. H. Rieth. 
JUST A MINUTE— 
NOVEMBER. 
’ Mr. Taft, who rules the nation 
Offers this, his proclamation: 
Whereas, Providence continues 
Blessing us from day to day, 
And the boon of independence 
Has, we take it, come to stay; 
And whereas, Indulgent Nature 
Lavishes upon us still 
Bounty in excess of what the 
Weather and the bugs can kill; 
And whereas, The old republic 
Couldn’t be improved upon, 
Notwithstanding everybody 
Gets to run it off and on; 
Therefore, I, as delegated 
Now and for a short time hence 
President, decree that turkey 
Shall go up to 20 cents. 
That’s about all there is to it. 
Once the country raised its own, 
and the White House proclamation 
was not greeted with a- groan, 
Father simply grabbed the hatchet, 
mother got the water hot, father 
read the proclamation to the turkeys 
in the lot, all the young and female 
turkeys promptly fainted from the 
shock, and after due farewells the 
gobbler laid his head upon the block. 
No one telephoned the butcher, 
asking what a turkey cost. No one 
in his deep resentment wished the 
Pilgrims had been lost. No one, 
while the feast pr ert knew the 
torment of the rael < figuring upon 
his napkin what the day had set him 
back. 
Everybody was provided, as the 
founders pre-supposed. No one can 
be very thankful, if the truth should 
be disclosed, paying what we pay 
for turkey, and, for all of Heaven’s 
gifts, feeling that the day was found- 
ed for the Armours and the Swifts. 
November gets its name from the 
Latin novem (nine), and was origin- 
ally the ninth month of the year. 
This brought Thanksgiving around 
two months earlier than we have it 
now, and it became very unpopular. 
The insurgents, who constituted a 
majority in the agricultural districts, 
were bitterly opposed to it. They 
made two contentions: First, that 
young turkeys were not old enough 
to market; second, that crops had 
not progressed to the point where it 
was possible to make out whether 
there was anything to be thankful 
for or not. In 713 B. C. the storm 
broke. The insurgents carried Gaul, 
Britannia and 17 other doubtful 
states, and the Forum immediately 
assembled and made November the 
eleventh month of the year. 
The festive colt will sniff the air 
and don his heavy underhair, and 
the frenzied candidate will jump and 
hop around upon thestump. He’ll 
point with pride and view with fear, 
and suck and blow the atmosphere, 
and then, together with his cult, 
await with prayer the result. 
Does reason haply hold its sway, 
or is it madness for a day will tell 
the people what to think and put the 
country on the blink? One cannot 
tell, but must abide the count that 
sees him justified in courage, con- 
fidence or doubt, according as it 
may turn out. 
One thing alone is sure, it seems, 
and that it this: No one esteems a 
patriot in politics. We only trust 
him while he sticks to war, with all 
its thrill and throb. The moment 
that he wants a job somewhat con- 
spicuous for pay, by Jove! we don’t 
know what to say. 
But whether we do ill or well, 
election day alone can tell, or wheth- 
er love for us and fear did any good, 
will then appear. We have to judge 
men as we may, and where the can- 
didates all say about the same thing 
in the end, one scarcely knows who 
is a friend. 
At any rate, the snow will fly, and 
the wild duck spin across the sky 
with both eyes focused on the 
ground, and his tail-piece going 
round and round. The eager hunter 
will deploy, and suppliment the live 
decoy, and the pneumococcus, while 
he toots, will perforate his rubber 
boots. 
A little shooting now and then is 
relished by a lot of men. They like 
to gallivant about and let the far- 
mers run them out. It does them 
good to feel, by jing, that Morgan 
don’t own everything, and if he 
came in consequence, and also tried 
to climb the fence, together with his 
dog and gun, he, too, “would also get 
the run, 
November will be unusual this 
year for the reason that there will be 
no full moon. This is because there 
will be a total eclipse of the moon on © | 
the night of the 16th, when it would — 
otherwise be full. 
be visible in the United States and in 
Wall street, and it will send bacon 4 
down a couple of points. | 
The breath of Winter will distil - | 
upon the outer windowsill, and the 
chilling calf will hump his back and — 
burrow deeper in the stack. The — 
hired man, with wintry spurts, will © 
put on both his undershirts, and the © 
plutocrat who sells us coals will pry 
our bodies from our souls. 
Then let us all embrace the chance — 
and be as merry as we may, for 
whether we desist or dance, the fid- 
dler is for all to pay.. The gentle 
autumntime will pass, the country- 
man will kill his hogs, the eotton- 
tail will weave the grass around the 
obfuscated dogs, the honking goose 
will ride the heights with that weird 
hollering of his, and the wolf will sit 
around 0’ nights and tell the moon 
how thin he is. 
O woe is us that could enjoy the 
autumntime for aye and aye, and 
what with growing soul employ its 
witchery from day to day. The 
phosphorescence in the sky, the quail 
soft-piping on the hill, the blackbirds 
ever bobbing by, and the wind soft- 
sighing where it will. 
But happiness can never last, as 
Antony could apprehend, and hold-- 
ing Cleo to him fast, destroyed him- 
self before the end. The summer com- 
eth after spring, and winter, merci- 
less withal, as truly must succeed the 
sweet and gentle blandishments of 
fall. 
At any rate, upon a day 
Deciphered in the almanacs, 
December, desolate and gray, 
Will come to whistle through the cracks. 
Let wonderful WASHWAX do 
your family washing; saves rubbing 
and saves the clothes; makes them 
clean, sweet and snowy white. 
WASHW AX is a new scientific com- ~ 
pound that washes in hot or cold 
water without the use of soap. It 
is entirely harmless and different — 
from anything you have ever used. 
Send ten cents stamps today for 
regular size by mail. You will be — 
glad you tried it. Agents wanted to 
introduee WASHWAX everywhere. 
Address Washwax Co., St. Louis, Mo. 
Hunting for an investment lea” 
to ad reading—so hunting for an in- | 
vestor should lead to ad writing, 
This eclipse will — 
