24 
NORTH SHORE BREEZE 
A FEW SMILES. 
“Many stories have been told of 
Cipriano Castro, exiled president of 
Venezuela, and of his monumental 
conceit,” said Dr. T. H. McDonough 
of San Francisco, Cal. “During the 
Russo-Japanese war the fall of Port 
Arthur was being explained to him. 
“‘Pshaw!’ he exclaimed. ‘With 
500 Venezuelans I could have taken 
it in four days.’ 
“With a thousand in one day, 
your excellency,’ said the diplomatic 
representative of a Kuropean power. 
“Castro was so pleased that it is 
said the diplomat succeeded the next 
day in procuring the payment of a 
claim that his government had been 
vainly pressing for years—Washing- 
ton Herald. 
A colored woman of generous pro- 
portions was on the witness stand in 
the superior court before Judge Weir, 
and she made such a good witness for 
the plaintiff that the attorney for the 
defense planned to throw “cold 
water” on what she said by finding 
fault with her character. 
“Tet me see, you have been arrest- 
ed, haven’t you?” the attorney asked 
in cross-examination. 
“Now, look a heah,” said the wit- 
ness, getting angry, “do you think lm 
going to tell all my private business ? 
1 guess not.” 
“T have the right to know, and you 
must tell me,” the lawyer persisted, 
and Judge Weir instructed the wit- 
ness that she would have to answer. 
“T’s ’rested for lickin’ my husban’,” 
she said, her eyes flashing. 
“That so?” said the attorney with 
great satisfaction. “What is your 
husband’s name?” And she told him. 
“And what is his business?” 
‘“He’s a prize fightah,” she said, and 
the cross-examination abruptly ended 
amid general merriment.—/ndianap- 
“Examination of the steamship 
passenger list showed my name and 
that of Maj. White as the occupants 
of the same room,” said the commer- 
cial traveler. “The purser and I 
went to the stateroom, and there in 
the doorway stood a mild-eyed young 
woman. When the purser asked her 
if that was her room she glanced at 
him casually and replied that it was. 
““But,’ objected the officer, ‘I have 
assigned this room to Maj. White. 
Have I the pleasure of speaking to his 
wife?’ 
““No, sir,’ was the prompt reply; 
‘Tam Maj. White—Maj. White of 
the Salvation Army.’ ”’—Tit-Bits. 
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Teacher (to new scholar)—“How 
does it happen that your name is 
Allen and your mother’s name is 
Brown?” 
Little lad (after a moment’s 
thought) — Well, you see, it’s this 
way. She married again and I 
didn’t—Woman’s Home Companion. 
Mrs. De Sham—‘Excuse me for 
being late, my dear Mrs. Peppry. I 
was detained downtown while my 
hair was being washed.” 
Mrs. Peppry, whose luncheon has 
been kept waiting—“‘And you had to 
go all the way home to get it? That 
was too bad my dear Mrs. De Sham.” 
—Cleveland Plain Dealer. 
Rodrick—That foreign nobleman is 
reading the stock market and I no- 
tice his eye lingers on “A. G. Pre- 
ferred.” What does “A.G.” stand 
for? 
Van Albert — Associated Gas, I 
guess. 
_ Rodrick—H’m! I thought perhaps 
it meant “American Girl Preferred.” 
“Straight, is the line of duty; 
Curved, is the line of beauty; 
Follow the straight, and thou shalt 
see 
The curved line ever follow thee!” 
It’s a poor scale that doesn’t work 
both weighs, 
