August  22,  1901. 
JOURNAL  OF  HORTICULTURE  AND  COTTAGE  GARDENER. 
175 
“Waste  Not,  Want  Not.” 
A  large  meeting  of  fruits  and  vegetables  was  held  on  the  evening 
of  the  August  Bank  Holiday  at  the  Globo  Artichoke,  Pine  Apple  Kow, 
London,  to  take  iDto  consideration  the  sewagj  of  London  and  the 
amalgamation  of  the  Irish  charred  peat  with  it ;  His  Highness  the 
Black  Jamaica  Pine-apple,  President,  in  the  chair,  supported  on  his 
right  by  the  Royal  Sovereign  Strawberry,  and  on  the  left  by  His  Royal 
Highness  the  Prince  of  Wales,  son  of  the  former.  The  vice  chair  was 
filled  by  the  noble,  healthy,  and  luxuriant  Mr.  Cabbage,  from  Reading, 
supported  on  the  right  by  Mr.  “Perfection”  Cucumber,  and  on  the 
left  by  Mr.  Celery,  from  Wordsley. 
Tne  President  rose  and  Baid,  “Mr.  Vice  and  brother  gentlemen, 
this  is  not  the  first  time  that  I  have  appeared  before  large  assemblies  ; 
but  I  assure  you  that  it  is  the  first  time  I  have  ever  met  to  discuss 
the  present  large  and  momentous  question  regarding  more  food  for 
Mr.  Onion  rose,  and  said  that  “  he  had  long  understood  that  his 
friends  in  England  throw  all  their  best  vegetable  food  down  drains, 
while  in  his  country  every  drop  of  liquid  and  every  bit  of  solid  are 
saved,  and  put  on  to  the  ground.  The  President  tells  us  that  his 
acquaintance  with  liquid  manure  only  goes  back  a  very  fewjyears. 
In  my  country  we  can  go  back  to  three  or  four  hundred  years.  Every 
woman  in  our  country  knows  the  value  of  what  'you  call  filth  rr 
waste,  and  saves  it  up  as  if  it  were  gold  ;  and  so  it  is,  it  is  the  soil’s 
gold  (loud  cries  of  hear,  hear).  I  ask  you,  when  your  master  gets  a 
sovereign,  does  he  throw  it  into  a  waste  drain  ?  (Laughter,  and  “  I 
wish  he  may  get  it  ”  from  Mr.  Gherkin,  of  Bedfordshire.)  Manure 
in  any  shape  to  the  land  is  like  gold  dust  to  the  owner.  ♦  The  owner 
cannot  flourish  without  money,  nor  can  the  earth  unless  it  receives  a 
fair  proportion  of  organic  food,  which  in  our  country  we  call  humus 
(hear,  hear).  If  the  land  is  poor  in  humus,  you  may  expect  a  shabby 
return  from  it  (hear,  hear).  Here  am  I,  gentlemen,  as  a  fair  specimen 
of  my  country,  weighing  nearly  four  pounds  (laughter).  *  Look  at  my 
English  brother  opposite.  Why,  he  has  not  arrived  to  three-quarters 
our  now  increasing  wants  (hear,  hear).  I  wish  every  one  of  you  to 
give  all  the  information  you  possess  to  this  very  important  meeting 
concerning  liquid  manure  and  charred  peat  as  a  food  for  your  families 
before  we  separate,  as  most  of  us  will  have  to  attend  another  large 
meeting  in  Covent  Garden  to-morrow  morning  (hear,  hear).  In  the 
first  place,  I  shall  give  my  little  experience  with  liquid  manure,  and 
it  is  now  some  years  ago  since  my  family  became  acquainted  with 
that  splendid  liquid  food  ;  and  it  was  pretty  strong,  too,  as  it  flowed 
from  cow  houses,  piggeries,  stables,  and  the  like.  This  was  at 
Aldenham  House,  Elstree.  We  kept  as  a  profound  secret  what  we 
were  fed  upon,  -for  in  those  days  our  best  friends  would  not  even 
shake  hands  had  they  known  what  luxurious  food  we  lived  on  (great 
laughter).  Until  then  we  never  weighed  more  than  two  p>unds.  Look 
at  me  now  (hear,  hear,  and  great  cheering  from  Mr.  Melon).  There¬ 
fore  I  say,  brown  stout  for  ever  (roars  of  laughter).  At  table  I  often 
laughed  when  observations  used  to  be  made  at  seeing  such  a  large 
fat  fellow.  ‘No  go,’  says  I,  ‘I  must  not  divulge  the  grand  secret.’ 
I  only  laughed  behind  my  crown  (a  significant  nod  from  Mr.  Spanish 
Onion,  with  general  cheers).  ThiB  was  the  commencement  of  liquid 
food  with  my  illustrious  family.” 
The  President  then  sat  down  with  great  applause,  followed  by 
general  cries  for  Mr.  Vice  and  Mr.  Spanish  Onion. 
of  a  pound  (roars  of  laughter).  Excuse  my  broken  English,  genfle- 
men.  Did  you  think  we  are  a  different  sort  ?  Not  a  bit  of  it ;  dissect 
us  b  ith,  and  you  will  find  just  the  same  number  of  scales  or  envelopes, 
for  be  is  descended  from  the  Onions  of  Spain.  Why,  my  brother  is 
completely  starved  for  want  of  organic  matter.  It  is  true  we  kept  the 
thing  a  profound  secret,  not  only  because  we  were  making  a  good 
thing  of  it  (laughter),  but,  as  the  President  said  in  his  case,  people 
would  have  nothing:  to  do  with  us  had  they  known  what  sort'of  food 
we  were  fed  upon  (great  cheering).  I  can  assure  you,  gentlemen,  I 
feel  a  lively  interest  in  this  great  meeting,  and  seeing  in  the  English 
papers  that  Mr.  J.  J.  Willis  (?)  had  lectured  the  Board  of  Health,  and 
thinking  that  that  board  might  be  composed  of  some  of  the  vegetable 
kingdom,  as  some  one  said  they  had  wooden  heads,  I  came  over  to 
Assist  my  English  brothers  in  this  great  undertaking  (immense  cheer¬ 
ing)  ;  but,  to  my  great  surpri-e,  I  find  that  that  board  is  composed  of 
linen-drapers,  tailors,  shoe-makers,  barbers,  and  the  like  (roars  of 
laughter),  evidently  not  the  right  men  in  the  right  place  (tremendous 
cheering).  In  conclusion,  I  do  hope  that  we  shall  be  able  to  show  to 
the  world  that  all  towns  make  an  immense  quantity  of  rich  manure, 
whether  solid  or  liquid,  and  that  it  ought  not  and  must  not  be  thrown 
into  the  sea  ”  (tremendous  applause). 
(To  be  continued.) 
